Journey of Revolution: Consequences
by Jade-Max
Summary: In the aftermath of a mission where the tension exploded into a passionate night between Ahsoka and Rex, serious misunderstandings between them and the other troopers of the 501st, threaten the two's relationship. AU. Sequel to Catalyst. Authorized re-write of "Journey of Revolution" by emjalen. Completed.
1. Prologue

**Disclaimer:** Star Wars: The Clone Wars belongs to Disney and is the intellectual property of George Lucas and Dave Filoni, the Destroyer of Canon. There is no money made off of this; I'm simply destroying the sandcastles.

**Title:** Journey of Revolution; Consequences

**Original Author: **emjalen, formerly _Tahiri Veila Solo_

**Author who Adopted the Story:** Jade_Max

**Timeframe: **During Season 3, about six months before _The Citadel_.

**Prequel: **Catalyst by Jade_Max

**Summary: **Rising tensions on a mission where a sixteen year old Ahsoka must act as a burlesque dancer and Rex her hustler push the two to the edge, and, when safe on _the Resolute_, the tension explodes into a passionate night between captain and commander. In the aftermath, however, serious misunderstandings between Ahsoka, Rex, and the other troopers of the 501st, threaten the two's relationship.

**Author's note:** Some of you have undoubtedly read this story before, and pieces will be familiar. Anything that is from the original _Journey of Revolution _ written by **emjalen **will be used with permission. She is also the beta for this fic.

* * *

**Background of the fic:** _Journey of Revolution _was originally published in the late spring, early summer of 2012 by emjalen, formerly _Tahiri Veila Solo_. This was her first real story on FFN- the first story she really loved and got amazing feedback on. When she came up with a wild idea for a sequel, cause and effect led to the revision of this story.

In December of 2012, I engaged **emjalen** in a discussion as _Journey of Revolution _had spawned an idea for what had happened before, a prequel of sorts, and I asked her permission to write it - with her input and final say on the contents to ensure it would mesh.

Together, we came up for an outline of _Catalyst, _spawning multiple discussions, and a brainstorming session on a re-write of _Journey of Revolution _- which **emjalen **said she'd been thinking of doing. While I worked on _Catalyst_, **emjalen **began reworking _Journey of Revolution_.

While I finished _Catalyst_, the unfortunate canceling of TCW as a TV series combined with losing her outline and data on her computer when the hard drive died, led **emjalen **to abandon the _Journey of Revolution_ revision.

In July 2013, she gave me permission to adopt it.

_Catalyst _was written as a prequel to this story. While both I and **emjalen **recommend reading it as it will be referenced, you won't need to in order to understand this story. The background knowledge within it, however, will enrich your read of _Journey of Revolution; Consequences_.

* * *

_**WARNING!**_ This story is AU and deserves its rating due to mentions and/or insinuations, of prostitution, underage sex, rape, and violence. Please, if any of those topics will make you feel uncomfortable hit the back button now.

_This prologue isn't intended to fit into the story timeline. It merely provides background for those who haven't read either the original version of JoR or Catalyst. The prologue is written by __**emjalen**__ and used with permission. _

* * *

**Prologue**

_Interlude in CT-21-0408 a.k.a. ARC Trooper Echo's head_

Not many people noticed Echo. Though he was an ARC trooper, he was quiet. The only brother quieter than Echo was Chopper, and Chopper wasn't a brother person. When Echo did speak, it was usually to spout some fact or regulation or, on rare occasions, the exact lyrics to a bawdy drinking song. He appeared to be nothing like his closest brother, Fives.

Echo, however, saw and heard a lot more than his brothers gave him credit for. He knew things no one else did.

He knew that General Kenobi kept a very illegal bottle of an alcoholic substance stashed under his bunk and drank it when Skywalker crashed yet another fighter or ended up in a bacta tank.

He knew that Jesse as angry at Gus because of something that happened on Kamino that had humiliated Jesse. Equally, he knew that Gus was angry at Jesse for what he thought was a complete overreaction and that the last time Gus had seen Jesse, he had spiked Jesse's caff with a laxative.

He knew that his General was far fonder of Senator Amidala than a Jedi should be. His eyes lit up whenever he saw the Senator, and he muttered a lot under his breath, usually swear words, when he heard she had taken larger risks than was expected of her station.

He knew that Kix had a serious disagreement with Coric on how to treat nerve injuries and the two hadn't spoken for three days because of it. He knew that it had stemmed from Coric treating a man from Torrent Company who hadn't healed right and was sent back to Kamino.

He knew that Fives had once killed a separatist agent by breaking his neck instead of shooting him and that, while the incident had shaken his brother, it hadn't shaken him near as much as it should have.

He knew that Commander Cody had been in the same training rotation as Sergeant Slick on Kamino and that the commander had been surly for a month after the sergeant was revealed as a traitor.

He knew that Gree admired his General more than he should and that she had cried once on his shoulder after she thought her Padwan, Barriss Offee, was dead.

He knew that the _Resolute's _cook, a brother named Jak, secretly spiked the caff for the third shift.

Despite not gossiping, Echo knew a lot more than anyone gave him credit for. What he didn't know though...

He didn't know what was going to happen to his Commander, Jedi Padwan Ahsoka Tano, the one female every man in Torrent Company would die for.

He didn't know what would happen when the Jedi found out how attached Ahsoka was not only to Torrent Company, but to their Captain.

He didn't know if she would die in battle, another too young Jedi casualty.

He didn't know how she would handle her ever growing anger at the Jedi Council.

He didn't know if General Skywalker would ever see his Padwan as the growing young woman she was. Or if General Kenobi would ever see her as anything but his former apprentice's Padwan.

He didn't know how his Captain and Commander were going to handle the relationship that was budding between them.

He didn't know how Ahsoka would react if Rex died in battle.

He didn't know if Rex would allow himself to ever truly enjoy Ahsoka's instinctive trust and fierce loyalty.

He didn't know if Ahsoka knew that Rex tried to see her as nothing else but a Jedi Padwan because if Rex let himself see her as a woman, he'd want her too much.

He didn't know if Ahsoka would let herself fall in love with Rex, or if Rex would ever admit to himself that he _was _in love with the Commander.

There was a lot Echo _didn't_ know about his Commander and Captain, and the uncertainties woke him up at night.

Most of all, Echo didn't know what had happened on the secret mission that had resulted in a bleeding Ahsoka, dressed in nothing more than a skimpy stage outfit, showing up at the _Resolute _with huge eyes and a too quiet, overprotective Rex.

No. Echo knew none of this, but he was soon going to realize that something had deeply shaken the relationship between his Captain and Commander. Shaken it so deeply that Echo didn't know what would happen between the two of them.

A catalyst had changed the dynamic between them, changed _them_. Ahsoka and Rex - their persons, their relationship, what made them _Captain and Commander _- was visibly balanced on the edge of a knife.

One misstep in fixing it, whatever _it _was, well... an unknown, incomprehensible flame had already burnt them to ash.

Either those ashes would drift apart, thrown away by a cruel wind, or Ahoska and Rex would rise from the ashes together, a phoenix reborn.


	2. Chapter 1

**Author's Note-** The start of chapter 1 is taken directly from _Catalyst_ - with a minor tweak here and there to ensure it makes sense J Most of the latter half of this chapter is the original re-write from **emjalen** with very minor tweaks here and there.

My apologies for the long Author's notes in the prologue. They get shorter from here - I promise :D

* * *

**Chapter 1**

_Rendezvous with the _Resolute -_ Several hours after leaving _The Catalyst

_"Halt! State your business!"_

"Stand down," Rex ordered, dropping his arms and squinting into the light from the cover of the forest, letting his brothers see him. It was both a frustration and a relief to have reached the rendezvous point with the _Resolute_ without further mishap. "And point that light elsewhere!"

_"Captain!"_

_"Captain Rex, sir!"_

_"It's the Captain!"_

_"Who's that with you, sir; she's quite-"_

"I'd stop there, Trooper." Rex knew his tone was dangerously harsh as he stepped forward, motioning Ahsoka to join him. She did, walking at his side through the men and towards the boarding ramp of the Resolute. There was a pause and then shock rippled through the ranks as the men seemed to realize her identity.

_"Commander?!"_

Rex's jaw tightened, his hands clenching on his sides as the revelation made its way through the ranks. Shock, coupled with a very real male appreciation he could feel resonating from his brothers, made his gut clench hard. Each step they took, Rex could see the men leering at her; watching her with a new knowledge as she inspired their baser natures.

Wanting to keep their gazes off her, Rex shrugged out of his jacket and draped it around her shoulders. If he'd thought of it sooner, he'd never have given them even that much of an eye full. Leaving one of his arms around her, he shot his brothers a dark look. "As you were; back to your assigned positions!"

The men reacted to his order as they'd been trained to; slapping buckets back on their heads and resuming their watches but Rex knew it did little to stop their regard. Tucking her close to his body, Rex scowled as they reached the ramp and Coric stepped forward.

"I couldn't help but notice you're injured, Commander, may I-"

"As you were, Sergeant," Rex's tone left no room for argument, the very _thought_ of having anyone, even one of his trusted brothers, touch Ahsoka at that moment was abhorrent. She was his to care for, his to protect and, if he as any judge of her expressions, she wasn't ready to be seen by anyone just yet. "The Commander will see you in the morning."

"Sir-"

"As. You. _Were_."

Coric backed off, the medic looking nonplussed as he snapped to attention. "Yes, _sir_!"

Ignoring the reproach in the other man's tone, Rex led Ahsoka up the boarding ramp and into the Resolute, his gut a knot of nerves and frustration. Shielded by the weight of his coat, she was quiet under his arm. Rex wasted no time in escorting her through the corridors, casting anyone who looked at her a foreboding look.

* * *

Coric slapped his bucket on his head as a defense mechanism as he stared after his Commander and Captain. Frowning even as shocked comments buzzed to life in his ears over the internal comm. where Rex couldn't hear them, his gaze followed his superior officers as they disappeared out of sight.

_"__I can't believe-"_

_"__Did you see what she wearing?" _

_"__Damn, but the Commander has a fine-" _

_"__Shut your mouth, you _di'kut_!"_

_"__Forget the Commander! Did you see what the Captain was wearing? What I want to know is how certain, erm, parts could get air!"_

_"__Forget air, how's he move in those things?" _

_"__Wow, I always knew she was gorgeous, but this-" _

_"__What in the nine Correllian hells was that mission, and why didn't I get assigned to it?" _

Chuckles filled the air at Jesse's comment and the troopers started moving inside, now that the Captain and Commander had been retrieved. They'd be taking off soon, back into space and whatever new mission awaited them.

Coric was last to board, only half an ear on his brother's unending comments. Filtering what was harmless and who he needed to have a word with regarding propriety and the Commander, he waited until the ramp started to close before stepping fully inside and starting for the med bay.

What in all the hells had just happened back there?

The Commander was clearly hurt, and while not serious, she needed medical treatment. What right did the Captain have to deny Coric access to treating her? Worse, Ahsoka hadn't even said a word. She'd just _let _the Captain give the orders regarding her, _for_ her. In all of the medic's experience with the feisty Jedi Padawan, that had _never _happened. Not even with the General.

Commander Ahoska hadn't greeted her men, hadn't cracked any jokes or rolled her eyes. She hadn't told Rex to back off, and she _hadn't_ asked after General Skywalker. It was uncharacteristic for her. Shock from her wound couldn't explain it. It took a lot more than a bloody scratch to make Padawan Tano go quiet.

Entering the med-bay, Coric nodded a greeting to Kix and began sorting inventory, the inquisitive mind that made him such a good medic racing.

Rex's snarling and glares had been just as uncharacteristic as Ahsoka's silence. Coric had been in the heat of battle with the clone, had been the Captain's second since Teth, but Rex had never aimed the full brunt of his lethal mindset at him. Never aimed it at _any _brother besides the traitor, Slick, before.

Without having been privy to the mission briefing, just the very brief "You've got Command" speech from Rex before leaving, Coric had to go by what he'd seen and heard. Breaking it down inside his head, he considered what he knew.

Based on what Ahsoka and Rex had been wearing, or _not_ wearing rather, he couldn't think of a reason as to why Rex would have been so protective, overly so, of Commander Tano. Especially an unchallenged overly-protective bent that had included tucking Ahsoka unresistingly next to his body and covering her with a coat.

It wasn't to say that Coric hadn't noticed the special connection between his commanding officers before, but that connection had always been equal. The Commander had always held the Captain in check, using her own unique blend of sass and respect to prevent Rex from getting overbearing.

But not tonight.

Tonight she'd let him take the lead, which in of itself wasn't uncommon. No, what had raised the red flags was the fact Ahsoka had not only let Rex, but seemed almost oblivious to the fact he'd been doing so and going overboard. She'd practically submitted to Rex's behavior, her silent disinterest and, by proxy, approval, was both disturbing and concerning.

What could possibly have made the Commander so quiet and the Captain so...angry?

Nothing added up and answers clearly weren't going to be forthcoming. Coric could be patient, though, knowing time was on his side. Ahsoka was hurt. As the company medic, she either came to him, or he went to her, whenever she was injured. If he was unavailable, Kix tended her. It was a mark of her respect for them that she preferred they treat her. As a result, she'd eventually tell him how she'd come to be injured when he was able to look at her arm tomorrow.

As for Rex... well, the Captain was probably just stressed. Clearly, _a lot_ had happened on their mission.

Besides, given the way the boys had been trading gossip and theories after the Captain and Commander had showed up, dressed like _that_, the news - and what had really happened on the mission - would doubtlessly be all over the ship by tomorrow morning.

Coric put the matter from his mind, not knowing just what had happened...or what would happen between Rex and Ahsoka later that night.


	3. Chapter 2

**Author's Note:** Most of this chapter comes from the original chapter three and is used with _**emjalen's**_ permission. A part of the very start is from the original chapter 2 and one of the flashbacks in it, is from _Catalyst._

* * *

**Chapter 2**

_The _Resolute _Post Catalyst - Day One - Morning_

Rex's eyes snapped open suddenly, his body reacting to an ingrained mental alarm for first shift. Disorientation rushed through his dazed brain and a single thought. His alarm wasn't going off.

Blinking, he mentally tried to regroup and identify why, taking in his surroundings much as he did when waking on the battlefield.

Sound - soft, familiar breathing somewhere nearby, but none of the snores of his brothers or the creek of armor as the men on watch shifted. No crackling fire, just the faint _hum _of the _Resolute's_ engines.

Scent - burned wax and smoke, candles and incense both items banned for the men. A slightly spicy aroma rose from the bedding and his skin, a familiar scent that had never been there before.

Touch - the sheets surrounding him, close to his bare skin, were softer than his. Slicker. The bunk on which he lay was also bigger, more comfortable and far warmer. This was definitely _not _his bunk. It hadn't been built to fit him and the three million men exactly like him.

And there was someone else in it. He could feel their presence.

Sight - turning his head on the plump comfort of the pillow beneath his head, he took in his companion. The vision of the sleeping teenager next to him made him blink. Ahsoka lay, curled in a ball, eyelashes a crescent shadow on her cheek as her chest moved slowly up and down - and memories of the last hectic hours flooded back.

_The lustful eyes of every man in _The Catalyst _on her as she made her entrance as the next act with nothing but a piece of filmy blue silk and golden chains on._

_The undulating way she moved as she danced on stage, playing the part of a pretty whore._

_The way her hips sashayed as she gave the separatist target a lap dance, her head thrown back to reveal the slender lines of her neck, her smoldering gaze locked with his own._

_The glint of success in her eyes as she revealed the data chip, full of separatist codes in her hand, successfully taken from the enemy._

_The coldness of their run through the city, dodging blaster bolts and trying to shake their pursuers._

_Being crushed together in a tight alley, breath mingling, as they hid from their enemies, struggling not to pant and give away their position._

_The sudden shock of red blood against the blue fabric, her eyes widening as she felt the pain and the surge of his own immediate and deadly response._

_The feel of her skin as he spread bacta gel on her arm, her breath warm on his face._

_The way his heart began pounding in chest as they locked gazes, a look charged with everything they'd shared - only to wrench away as they heard the distant landing of the _Resolute_._

_The sudden chatter as he and Ahsoka came in sight of his brothers, and the slack shock, admiration, lust, and very male appreciation of their teenage commander clear on their faces._

_Lying on his bunk, staring at the ceiling, the sway of Ahsoka's hips as she danced replaying in his head._

_The sudden noise of his comm. going off, and Ahsoka's voice, hushed with strain, asking him to come to her room so they could talk._

_The dimness in her rooms, unable to mute the bright azure of her eyes as she bit her lower lip and crossed her arms over her chest, her breasts visible against her shirt as she gazed up at him and stuttered._

_Feeling every bit of his control snap, his lust no longer restrained by his honor, respect, deep admiration, or loyalty to her, all of it washed away by the fire roaring through his blood._

_Wide blue eyes staring up at him as he pinned her against the wall. The desperate, pleading sounds she made as he played her body, the feel of her skin, like rough silk under his fingertips. The smooth texture of her montrals, and the taste of her mouth as he ravaged it. Her tripping backwards as he followed her, taking her down to the bed, out of control._

_How she felt, all tight and slick and fever hot around him, even as his teeth sank into her skin._

His body stirred with the memory and snapped Rex out of his reverie. A smile started to spread across his lips. Finally - _finally_ - he'd been freed of the tension that had been twisting him in knots this past week. A tension created by the teenager beside him and his own desire for her.

A desire they'd slaked together.

The scent he wore finally registered. He smelled like Ahsoka. First shift started soon and he needed to hurry if he hoped to prevent every brother he encountered from knowing where he'd spent the night. He debated leaning over to wake her, but the exhaustion still permeating his bones would easily be mirrored in hers.

Determined to let her sleep, he began easing out from under the covers, he kept one eye on her, having to lift it unexpectedly when he found it caught wrapped around one leg of his and hers. She made a sleepy sound as he lifted the cover off, drawing his gaze, and then curled up tighter in protest to the lack of warmth.

Rex's entire being went still, the cover all but forgotten in hand.

Horror filled him, flooding his system like a cold shower, the Zeltron dancer Zidel's demand filling his ears as he stared with revulsion at the sight of what he'd wrought.

_"You've large hands, Hustler. Hands to bruise and spank and pin." She breathed against his neck, her words a breathy invitation, "Spank me; pin me; bruise me. When there's as large a man as you for a reward between my legs, I'd be your willing slave."_

_No!_

The pain that struck him was sharp and blindingly intense and he all but fell out of the bed, scrambling to get away from the agony and guilt which threatened to drown him. The euphoria and well being he'd felt upon waking, vanished as if it had never of his heavy-handedness was clear, the sheet having fallen beyond Ahsoka and leaving her body bared to his horrified gaze.

Bruises and bite marks marred her once flawless sienna skin. The imprints of his hands and mouth were on her backside and bare hips, the side of her breasts, her shoulders and thighs. A darker bruise than the others was just barely visible under the fall of her lekku. He caught a faint ring around one wrist, a mark he couldn't be sure he hadn't left in the wake of the others, all contrasting with the knife wound from their escape on her upper arm.

_I did this. I hurt her._

Something he'd promised never to do. He'd broken that promise, broken that trust. He'd done the unforgivable and betrayed her by not treating her with the delicate respect and deep care she deserved. His moment of madness, in unleashing the violent beast within himself, had irrecoverably destroyed his precious friendship with her.

_No...NO!_

Even as he inwardly denied it, struggling against the pain of that knowledge and what his one moment of foolishness had cost him, he vehemently cursed himself. He was a man bred for war. A man built to maim and destroy; to inflict pain and suffering.

If he ever needed proof, he had to look no further than the sight before him.

He was going to be ill.

Quickly collecting his kit, he struggled to block out the details around him he couldn't help but see as additional evidence to his savagery. The overturned chair by her desk; the way their clothing was strewn about the room and intermingled; how her clothing had been torn _by his hands _and left like refuse by the wall. The kilted angle of her bunk, though, was the most damning - a testament to the thoughtlessness in his heavy handed assault.

He retired to the small 'fresher in her room and dressed, his hands shaking and brought mostly under control by sheer will. The shock of his actions and their soon to be realized consequences hadn't yet sunk in. This was the end of their friendship, their relationship and anything that had developed between them because of their time spent on the mission.

Ahsoka was going to hate him. And Rex, as he exited the 'fresher fully dressed, taking one last look at her battered form as she blindly reached for the covers, knew she had every right to.

* * *

_The _Resolute _Post Catalyst - Day One - Early Afternoon_

The start chart revolved on the holo projector as Anakin outlined the battle strategy that was in the early stages of planning and set to be executed three days hence. Despite the almost luxurious amount of time, and the strangeness of Anakin wanting to _plan _a defense, he'd insisted he was simply trying to upstage Obi-Wan in his preparedness when Ahsoka had teased him about it at the outset of the meeting.

Not that it was exactly unlike him, but after his extended stay in the bacta tank, Ahsoka couldn't help but wonder if it could have waited. Intelligence had only _just _been obtained and filtered to the battle group that the Separatists would be invading…

Her gaze slipped to the silent, intent and impassive Captain next to the Master.

Invading…

Ahsoka gave herself a mental shake as she refocused to pay attention to her Master and the specifics of his still fledgling plan. Doing so only made her aware of her own actions. Her heart was racing, her concentration scattered and her breathing slightly _too _erratic for anything resembling calm.

Taking a deep breath in an effort to concentrate, she took in the emotions of those around her. A focusing technique one of her crèche teachers had taught her.

_Echo; focused and attentive with an edge of unease._

_Fives; interested, but shifty with pent up energy._

_Her master; bursting with energy, yet serious. None the worse for his extended dip in the bacta tank._

_Rex - _

The roiling, heavy wall she encountered nearly rocked her back on her heels and Ahsoka exhaled sharply as the exercise failed. Her concentration was shredded by the tempest of conflict she could sense within him. Suppressed and contained by his indomitable will, it was a seething maelstrom of clashing emotions. There was no way to make sense of it, no way to sort the mess that he was holding so tightly leashed.

Involuntarily her eyes flickered across the chart in an effort to catch his eyes as she felt the churning turmoil inside him. Rex's attention was firmly focused on the star chart and Ahsoka stretched her senses towards him again, only barely managing not to flinch as she came up against the same resistance pushing back. This time she was prepared but still unable to pierce the edges, to get a glimpse behind the chaos.

It was to no use.

Watching him from under her lashes while pretending to look at the diagram of Anakin's fledgling plan, she considered his appearance - her first glimpse of him since early this morning. He looked... serious. Calm. Professional.

There was no hint on his face to the storm she knew to be roiling beneath the surface. This kind of storm was different. Dark in a way she had never felt from him. Nothing like he had last night when-

_Rex, with a look she could only describe as hunger, raking black eyes down her naked torso, lingering on her heaving breasts, as he pinned her easily to the bed with a hand._

_Rex, biting her collarbone as his hands caressed and pinched her montrals, making her yelp._

_Rex, his mouth sensuously torturing her breast as his hands explored her belly and thighs as she gasped his name._

_Rex, his big strong hands parting her legs as he-_

Ahsoka felt heat spread across her cheeks and down her neck. Spreading through her body, it made her shift from one foot to the other, her montrals flushing as she couldn't drag her gaze away from Rex. His eyes seemed to be focused everywhere and nowhere.

Except her.

Confusion engulfed her again, an ever present companion since she'd awoken. It swirled through her as she struggled to comprehend why Rex wouldn't look her way when he hadn't been able to take his eyes off her for the better part of the last week. Why he hadn't answered her comm. calls this morning when he'd never failed to before. Why he hadn't _laughed _when she'd forced herself to tease Anakin this morning, laughter that he had to have _known_ would have helped ease her own tensions.

Why she'd woken alone.

_She rolled over, tangling her legs in the sheets, and stubbornly kept her eyes shut. If she didn't see the light, maybe she could fall back asleep._

_Stretching in an effort to get comfortable, she abruptly froze as her legs protested. Then, she remembered everything: the mission. Zidel. Dancing, running and-_

_Her and Rex all tangled and hot together as he drove her mad; having noises ripped from her; what he tasted like; what he _felt _like; how they had… _

_Ahsoka jerked upright in bed, eyes flashing open as she wildly looked around. No Rex. Her room was empty, the sheets beside her cold. Unoccupied. She was alone, and not even an imprint of his head remained on the pillow. _

That confusion transformed into a pit of unease in her stomach, much like the one that had formed when Zidel had put her hands all over Rex in an attempt to seduce him, only heavier. The dread, the _uncertainty _was that much worse.

A soft scuffle behind her drew her back to the present and Ahsoka chastised herself for the lapse of self-indulgent worry. _Come on, Ahsoka, concentrate. This is important._

Pushing her concerns into the back of her mind, and determined to continue being a good Commander, the Padawan turned her attention back to the briefing just in time to hear her Master bring it to a close.

"Dismissed. We'll meet again tomorrow, at 1400, after the Council sends us more information on the situation."

Echo departed with a salute, but Fives stayed where he was, turning to her Master to ask a question, voice a low murmur. Rex didn't say a word. He simply turned and started out of the room, as silent as a shadow. Ahsoka scowled and started after Rex. He was avoiding her, and she was going to find out why.

They _needed _to talk.

Skirting the projector opposite Fives and her Master, Ahsoka didn't hear Anakin make a comment that was obviously designed to draw her into their conversation, and went straight for the door. By the time she hit the corridor, Rex was already half way down the hallway.

Not thinking about her actions, just that they needed to discuss what had happened, she started after him at a jog, calling. "Rex!" He didn't even pause and Ahsoka wasn't sure he'd heard. "Rex, wait up!"

He stopped, waiting for her.

She caught up, skidding to a halt next to him and then couldn't, contrarily, move any closer. Conflicting wants enveloped her. Being this close to him again was a reminder of what they'd shared earlier that morning. She didn't know how she could address it. Desire, uncertainty, love and embarrassment all combined and surged within her as she gazed up at his face.

_Why does it have to be so awkward? _ She searched his blank expression. _We were sharing rooms at _the Catalyst _and it was never this bad, not even when he found out why I bit him... or when he bit _me_. _

Ahsoka took a breath, and then plunged, "I-" The words choked in her throat as she looked into his unreadable expression. "Rex, I-" What if he thought she was being silly? Or too uncertain and unprofessional? She hesitated, looking for the right words, not at all certain of 'morning after' protocols.

"Was there something you needed, Commander?"

It was like being thrown into a cold shower, her rank a sudden and stinging blow; hadn't they agreed to drop their ranks when they were alone? Confusion tied her tongue again, everything she wanted to say suddenly stuck in the back of her throat. Swallowing, she tried something simple and inwardly cringed at how uncertain she sounded. "We need to talk. About the mission," she added quickly, "and about-" oh Force, she could feel her skin heating up again, "-about last night."

Rex… went still. Every feature immediately locked into rigid immobility, his eyes widening ever so slightly.

She could see his neck muscles tense and his right fist clench into a ball of hard knuckles. It wasn't a reaction she'd ever elicited or seen from him and, confused, Ahsoka reached for him through the Force. What she felt was an echo of what she'd sensed in the briefing except this time, several emotions escaped his careful control and seemed directed solely _at_ her…

_Hurt._

_Dread._

_Revulsion._

Tears blurred her vision, a pit forming in her stomach as Ahsoka mentally recoiled. The fury of his emotions knifed into her heart with the precision of a well-placed vibroblade. A whimper stuck in her throat as she drew the Force so tight into her own skin that her bones ached. "Rex..." she choked out, barely audible.

_Oh, Force, what have I done?_

They continued to stare at one another for a long, uncomfortably charged moment before he slammed his bucket on, his armor suddenly a barrier between them and no longer a comfortable familiarity.

For a moment she thought he was going to leave her without a word but when he spoke, his voice was colder than she'd ever hear it. Not even when he'd been acting as her hustler and staring down the lowlifes who'd wanted her services had he sounded _this _cold -and the regulator of his helmet only made it all that much worse.

"There is nothing to discuss Commander. I've already filed the mission report." Without a pause, Rex turned on his heel and walked away.

Ahsoka stood there, immobile, as a tear slipped unnoticed down her cheek.

He'd…

She'd…

Her mind raced through everything she'd felt, but the trio of emotions that stood out the most were quickly correlated, and tallied, with damning certainty against the confusion and uncertainty of waking alone and his avoidance of her.

Hurt. He was hurt by her approaching the situation and the fact she felt it necessary.

Dread. He was dreading her company the very idea of talking to her, _with _her. He didn't _want _to talk about that morning. Didn't want to see her, to be with her, to _deal_ with her.

Revulsion. He was disgusted with her. He hadn't enjoyed what they'd done and was clearly repulsed by it. He…

Numbly, she started down the hallway as she furiously blinked back the moisture in her eyes. Rex was sickened by her. He - her best friend, her Captain, her confidant, her battle partner, her _mate_, her secret _love_ - was _sickened_ by her.

Somehow, she had ruined their friendship and driven him away.

_What have I done_? She had thought… they had been building something, hadn't they? He had _kissed _her back, had wanted her just as much as she had wanted him when they had been at _The Catalyst _- she hadn't imagined that!

It was her fault...it had to be. _She _was the one who had been teasing Rex the entire mission. _She_ had pushed him to the edge when he didn't want to be because of some silly notion of _honor_. _She_ had been the one to call him back to her room...

She'd seduced him. In doing so, she'd wounded him.

Ahsoka felt it quite keenly, more emotions from her brief contact with him welling to the surface as the protective barrier she'd created about herself with the Force cracked, allowing those impressions to seep through. He had felt... _betrayed_ by her, disgusted with her. Rex _blamed _her for destroying the precious partnership they had...

_Her fault..._

_All her fault…_

Somewhere, in the back of her head, Ahsoka knew she needed to move. She knew that standing in the middle of the hall would only create suspicion and was peripherally aware that Fives had left the briefing room and was walking toward her. It wasn't until tapped her on the shoulder that she was able to snap out of the encompassing mental fog of broken grief.

"Commander? Are you alright?"

"I-" she practically choked on the words and only through a sheer force of will, forced a sheepish kind of smile for the ARC Trooper. "I'm fine, Fives." She shrugged. "Sorry, I guess I'm still exhausted from…" she had to swallow before forcing out the last, "from the mission."

"You sure about that, sir?"

She gave him another smile accompanied with a sharp nod as she stuck her chin up, her throat closing and completely missing the narrowing of his gaze on her cheek. "Fine, Fives." Managing to choke out that simple response, she turned sharply, an echo of Rex's departure. Blinded by tears, she practically ran down the hallway and into the empty service junctions which would take her toward her quarters.

_I'm not alright. Not at all. I'm going to be sick. Oh, Rex, I'm sorry! I'm so sorry!_


	4. Chapter 3

**Author's Note:** All of this is new material.

**Chapter 3**

_The _Resolute _Post Catalyst - Day One - Late Afternoon_

Ahsoka was sitting on the floor as far away from the bed as she could get, staring out the viewport with her back to the wall and her arms wrapped around her knees when a knock sounded at her door. Her head snapped around as if on a string, her spirits lifting from the dredges they'd been in as hope surged through her breast.

Rex.

It had to be.

He had to be coming to explain. To apologize. To talk. To tell her that what she'd felt in the corridor was _wrong_.

The knock sounded again and this time prompted her to speak. Quickly wiping her cheeks free of her tears, she cleared her throat. "Come in."

The door opened to reveal a familiar face, the face she'd been expecting but the surge of hope she felt quickly dwindled. The man in her doorway was identical to the man she'd hoped to see in every way except one.

He _wasn't_ Rex.

* * *

The medic's brows drew together as he started to step into the doorway of his Commander's quarters, surprised to find her sitting on the floor against a wall near her desk. Her expression seemed to fall as she realized who he was and Coric couldn't help but wonder who she'd expected him to be. The Captain, perhaps?

"Coric."

"Commander," he frowned. She hasn't so much as twitched the barest of smiles in greeting and, despite the low lighting in her quarters, he could see evidence of moisture trails on her cheeks. Had she been crying? "Is this a bad time, sir?"

"Yes - no, I-" she stopped herself, holding up one hand as if to forestall anything he might have said in response. Using that pause, she pushed up off the floor with a wince visibly favoring her injured arm - the reason for his visit. "Come in, Coric."

"Were you expecting someone else, sir?" It wasn't his place to ask and her injury needed tending, but it had waited this long and could wait longer if necessary. "I can come back later."

"No," she shook her head, dusting off her skirt and Coric's sharp eyes caught a faint bruise on her neck under one lekku as she tilted her head, "it's okay, Coric." He had the distinct impression it was anything but 'okay' even though she was saying otherwise. "What can I do for you?"

He held up the medkit in his hand. "I noticed you were injured last night when you got back to the ship, sir. I would have tended you then, but the Captain declined on your behalf."

"The…"

Her frown spoke volumes and confirmed his suspicions. Commander Tano didn't _remember _Rex giving that order. "I'm here now, Commander. If I may?"

Visibly giving herself a shake, she nodded and started to move towards the bed, where he indicated she should sit, only to turn abruptly on the ball of one foot and head straight back to the desk. Pulling out the chair, she sat in it, flicking the overhead light on and finally looked his way.

"The light's better over here... and there's a place for you to put the medkit."

Coric raised his eyebrows. She had a point, but her actions were both bemusing and concerning. It wasn't like her to explain herself, especially over the obvious. "Are you feeling like yourself, Commander?"

Ahsoka abruptly broke eye contact, looking towards the now closed door. "No, Coric," she admitted, surprising him. "The... the mission was... it..." she shook her head.

"It was rough?"

"Rough." Her lips twisted. "Rougher than an uncontrolled crash in a LAAT/i on a times four gravity planet."

Stopping next to her, Coric placed the medkit on the desk, examining her for a moment before his gaze was drawn to the open wound on her upper arm. He frowned. "Where's the bandage this was under, sir? It shouldn't be left open like this."

He gave her a moment to respond before realizing that no response was forthcoming. Her jaw had set, the hand of the arm he wasn't tending clenched into a fist, and he thought he saw a distinctive sheen to her eyes. Deciding that pressing the issue was probably not necessary in that moment, Coric set about his task.

Taking her arm in hand, he turned it this way and that. Examining the injury, he was gratified to see that initial healing had already begun. Whoever had treated the knife slash initially - the wound couldn't have come from anything else - had done it swiftly and with skill. "Did you do this yourself, Ahsoka?"

As expected, the use of her name drew her attention back his way.

"What?"

Gruffly, he repeated himself, hiding his concern. "Did you treat this yourself?"

She shook her head, looking away again. "I couldn't have."

"You're not a bad field medic. This is within your abilities."

"It wasn't me, Coric."

"Captain Rex tended you then?"

Her jaw worked and she nodded, her attention visibly not in the moment at hand. "Yeah. Rex-" His frown deepened. Had her voice just hitched on the Captain's name? "He did it. He…" her eyes closed and she stopped speaking, her head turned fully away from him now.

The turn of her head revealed what Coric's sharp-eyed gaze had caught a glimpse of upon entering the room; a circular abrasion on her neck, hidden under her lekku, about twice the size of a decee's barrel diameter. With his hands tending the wound on her arm almost automatically, Coric considered the imprint. It was redder and darker than her normal skin tone and slightly... indented?

He couldn't recall ever seeing any kind of injury like that before. He'd have to research it.

A quick look at her expression showed she wasn't paying him any attention and Coric's gaze slipped analytically down her body. Darker patches of skin marred her shoulder, five oval shaped marks, four on the back of her shoulder and one on the front. A ring of darker skin was around the wrist he could see and the same kind of marks on her shoulders, were echoed on one bare thigh, just visible beneath the edge of her skirt.

_Hand prints. Restraint marks. _

His gaze came back to the imprint on her neck; the - the shape of a... mouth? He had to be wrong but no other conclusion presented itself. _What the hell happened on that mission and why wasn't Rex around to stop it?_

He managed not to tighten his grip on her arm as he angled it a little for better access. Ahsoka assisted, letting him move it, but, as his gaze traveled over the bruise on her neck, he caught a wince from the corner of his eye. From the injury he was tending or worse… something he couldn't see?

"Sir?"

She didn't look at him but he could feel her tense.

"Commander."

"Yes?"

How did he phrase this diplomatically? If she'd been attacked during the mission, it would certainly have explained Rex's overprotective behavior when they'd arrived back at the ship. Especially if the Captain had nearly been too late. "You've other injuries, sir."

Her head snapped towards him, eyes wide. "What?"

"You've other injuries. Here." Coric reached down with one hand, not quite brushing the skin on her thigh, "and here," he traced the line around her wrist and finally, motioning to his own neck as he thought better of touching hers, he circled the outline, "and here. Is there something I need to know about this mission, sir? I can't offer the correct treatment if I don't have all the facts for a proper diagnosis."

Ahsoka stilled, watching him with wide eyes that suddenly seemed glassy and far too fragile for any mood or attitude he'd ever seen from her. "I've… oh no. No. I can't… He couldn't've-"

She was gone from under his hands before he could stop her, the door to the 'fresher sliding closed and leaving him alone with the trailing edge of the bandage he'd been about to wrap dangling from his fingers.

_He? _Coric stared at the door, frowning. _What the _fek _just happened?_

"Commander." Coric moved towards the closed door, pausing when he heard a catch of a breath and then running water. The distinctive sound of fabric abrading skin and Ahsoka mumbling to herself could be heard behind the door. He lifted one hand and knocked. "Commander. I need to finish tending your knife wound."

"It's fine, Coric. I'm fine. I can…" there was a pause and more scrubbing before she spoke again. "You've cleaned it, I can wrap it myself."

His frown deepened and Coric did something he never did with her. He pulled rank. "Negative, Commander. Medic's orders. That wound has gone untreated long enough. It needs to be wrapped properly if you wish to avoid infection."

Silence was his answer as the water shut off and, for a moment, he wondered if he could get away with it. He wasn't used to pulling rank on a Jedi. Honestly, there was never a need. For the most part, Jedi were tended by their own kind. Only the General and the Commander ever needed, or welcomed, his skills.

The door slid open revealing a very small, very composed, but quiet, Ahsoka. She swallowed visibly, the skin at her wrist sporting the noticeable evidence of her useless efforts. Barely meeting his gaze for a moment before it slid away, Ahsoka marched back to the seat where she'd been before and sat back down.

Not willing to press his luck, Coric returned to her side and resumed tending the knife slash. It wasn't until he was securing the bandage and had a physical reason for her not to move away, that he broached the topic of her other injuries again.

"Those bruises look seri- woah!" he admonished when she nearly jerked out of his grip. "Easy, Commander, it's just an observation. A part of my job, remember?" Her nod was curt. "I'd be one useless medic if I didn't notice when one of my charges was hurt."

"True."

"Do they hurt?"

She shook her head, once again unnaturally quiet like she had been the night before.

Deciding that the official track wasn't working, Coric switched gears. "Commander… Ahsoka." Using her name never failed to draw her gaze. A reason, he supposed, he didn't use it often with her. "I can't help you unless I know what happened."

"I…" her head shook again. "It's classified, Coric," she told him softly, looking away. "Republic Intelligence needs to grant you clearance."

"I see." Roadblock. Even he couldn't compel her to share the details when put like that, especially when the injuries weren't life threatening. He let it go, filing the details of her injuries away in the back of his brain for further investigation later. Switching gears he turned his attention back to her wounds. "I've a salve to help the bruises heal."

"You do?"

How hopeful she looked set off warning bells in the back of his brain, but he tucked that away with the details of her bruising for later. "I'll bring it by after evening meal." He finished smoothing down the bandage and dropped his hands. "The seals are waterproof. When it's ready to come off, it'll come off on its own. You should heal up nicely."

Ahsoka's gaze dropped to the newly doctored injury, faint surprise on her features. Coric wondered if she even remembered that as the reason for his presence in the first place. "Thanks."

Turning to the medkit, he turned his attention to packing up the supplies as he kept on eye on her. "Sir… Classified or not, if something happened on this mission, medics have been trained to assist in working through trauma. You might not be able to give specifics, but I'd be willing to listen if you need to talk."

"I…" she smiled faintly. "Thanks, Coric. I'll be okay." There was yet another pause that was so unlike her. "I think this mission just took a lot out of me."

"Get some sleep then, sir." Snapping the case closed he turned, his eye catching on a pile of shredded white and blue cloth tucked into the corner behind her before meeting her gaze. "Medic's orders. I'll tell the General you're not to be disturbed."

"You can do that?"

"When warranted. You look worn out, Commander. Sleep is sometimes the best medicine. Take advantage of being able to get it while you can." Was that apprehension in her gaze as it flicked to her bed before back to his?

"Sure thing. Anything else, Medic Coric?"

"If you can't talk about it with me, sir, might I suggest Captain Rex could-" there was no mistaking how her expression closed and shuttered at the mention of the Captain, "-sir?"

"Thanks Coric." Cutting him off, she didn't respond to his inquiry. "I think a nap would do me good."

Frowning, he considered her for a moment but didn't fight the dismissal. Rex was the only one who might be able to get to her. He'd have to talk to his Captain about lending his often overly eager shoulder and ear to their Commander. "Very good sir. Was there anything else?"

"No."

With a nod at her, he turned on his heel and went to exit the room, pausing just before touching the door controls. "Commander."

"What, Coric?"

He turned to look at her worn, weary expression. "If you need something to help you sleep, they'll be a dose ready with your name on it in the medbay." Without waiting for her answer, he nodded to her, keyed open the door and left her to her darkened quarters.

* * *

Ahsoka's composure lasted only as long as it took Coric to leave.

Stumbling to the door, she barely managed to key in the lock code as her tears returned and her expression crumpled. Sinking to the ground, she buried her face in her knees. Wrapping her arms about her legs, she shuddered, struggling against the torrent of emotion and pain that threatened to drown her.

And utterly failed.


	5. Chapter 4

**Author's Note:** Consider this an apology for not getting the last chapter up on Wednesday; I completely forgot! So... Bonus chapter!

* * *

**Chapter 4**

_The _Resolute _Post Catalyst - Day One - Evening_

Leaving her room, Ahsoka decided as she collected a tray in the mess hall and began to fill it, was not one of her better ideas. She wasn't really hungry, but after Coric's visit, something had told her she couldn't afford to stay hidden away.

Instead, she'd changed, ensuring that every mark Coric had commented on - and those he couldn't have possibly seen - were covered. Covering the marks had been but one step in burying the broken heart she couldn't afford to show to anyone.

It was her fault Rex wasn't speaking with her and she wasn't about to make him pay the price for her follies. She'd pushed him into something she'd wanted and, if anyone knew what they'd done... she wasn't about to be responsible for his demotion, reassignment or, worse, reconditioning.

Somehow, she had to make the men believe that she-

"Sir?"

Nearly dropping the item in her hand, she glanced up sharply to see Echo watching her with a faint frown of concern on his expression. "Echo?"

"Do you want that, sir? You've picked it up and put it back three times now."

Glancing down, Ahsoka found two different pre-made meals in her hands, one she was stretching back towards the containment unit. Quickly putting it back inside, she didn't really care what she'd grabbed. Ahsoka offered Echo what she hoped was a sheepish smile as she placed her selection on her tray. "Sorry. Guess I'm not all here, yet."

Turning away, she missed his deeper frown or the way his gaze flicked to the only bruise she'd been unable to do anything with; the circle on her neck. If she'd been thinking, it would have occurred to her that Echo was probably the _only _clone who would notice a detail like that without medic training.

Taking her tray to a corner table, Ahsoka put her back to the wall and was acutely conscious of the fact that Rex would normally join her. A quick look about the mess hall showed his presence to be lacking and the small hope that he'd at least _try_ and forgive her to let things be 'normal', for the sake of the men, began to shrivel and die.

The curious eyes of the men met hers as her gaze slid back across the mess hall before dropping to her tray. She wasn't hungry. The thought of food was actually making her stomach churn, threatening to rebel. Staring at it, she was torn between keeping up appearances and the idea that if she tried, she just might make a fool of herself.

The clatter of another tray on her table drew her gaze up as her heart practically leapt into her throat, only to drop to her boots, the hope that choked her plummeting just as quickly when she saw that, yet again, her companion wasn't the one she desired.

* * *

Jesse spied Commander Tano across the mess as she settled at the table which was normally shared by her and the Captain for evening meal. A quickly look around showed the Captain nowhere in evidence and Jesse grabbed his chance.

Striding over quickly, he dropped his tray on the table uninvited, drawing her attention as he slid into the seat with a smile. "I was hoping you'd be in the mess, Commander." Jesse dug into his dinner with gusto; it had been a long, boring day and Rex had worked them unusually hard. "Welcome home."

"Thanks, Jesse." Her smile was a little worn, but Jesse passed it off to the stress of her latest mission. The mission he was dying of curiosity to know the details of. "It's… nice to be back."

"Rumor has it you had a rough mission."

"It's classified, Jesse." So he'd heard. "I can't talk about it."

When had that ever stopped him from asking? "Not even about those pants? I just want to know if you took holos of Rex's reaction to seeing his mission attire."

She blinked, visibly taken aback by his angle and Jesse silently congratulated himself as he grinned at her. He might find out a thing or two after all. "No, huh?"

"No. No holos"

Leaning in, he took another bite of his dinner, barely noticing that she had yet to touch hers. "I bet he wasn't thrilled, though. Perfect soldier Captain Rex in leather - I bet his expression was priceless, right?"

"Jesse."

"Come on, Commander," he wheedled, "I'm not asking anything mission sensitive am I?"

"Well... no."

"Then there's no reason you can't tell me right? I mean, those pants don't look like they're comfortable."

"It's gossip, Jesse." Her voice was quieted, becoming almost subdued and he missed the way it hiccupped on his Captain's name. "Rex wouldn't appreciate me telling you."

"Who am I gonna tell?"

Her eyes lifted to the rest of the mess hall. She obviously knew him too well to fall for the innocent tactic and he tried another tract. "Can you at least tell me if he had to wear them the whole mission?"

"Drop it, Jesse."

"Come on, not even a hint?"

"No." The abrupt answer put him off a little and made him frown. "What do the men say?"

"It ranges but mostly the scuttlebutt says he was in a foul temper because of the chaffing." Ahsoka didn't so much as blink. He pointed his utensil at her as he chewed and swallowed, shifting the topic to one she wouldn't be all sensitive about when it came to someone else's feelings. "You were certainly all dressed up when you go back."

Her silence was surprising but again, he didn't let him deter him as he turned back to his food. "Not your normal attire there, Commander. I certainly didn't see a place where you could have hidden a lightsaber."

"I..."

Catching her expression from the corner of his eye, Jesse silently congratulated himself. Ahsoka's expression was entertaining and speaking and he entirely missed the way she seemed to get paler. Either she hadn't brought her lightsaber with her, or he wasn't as sharp-eyed when it came to concealing a weapon as he'd thought. And _Rex _certainly hadn't had it on him. "I don't know what you were doing, sir, but I don't think the General would have approved of you going in without a weapon."

"Rex had blasters."

"And you've a mean roundhouse," Jesse licked the tines of his fork. "A Jedi is a better Jedi with their lightsaber is all."

"GAR Intelligence didn't feel the same way obviously, Jesse."

Ah-_ha_! Confirmation. She _hadn't _had her lightsaber which meant she'd been posing as something other than a Jedi. Interesting. "I take it the costume was their idea too?"

"It was a _classified _mission, Jesse."

So she'd said. He smiled sincerely. "If I may say, Commander, the Captain was lucky to be watching your back whatever the mission was. You're one hell of a fine looking female and that blue dress-thing you had on really showed it."

"You're out of line, Jesse," she told him, her voice wavering. He smirked. She couldn't be serious about the reprimand if she couldn't keep a straight face. "What I look or looked like doesn't matter. All that matters is my ability to lead you all into battle successfully."

Jesse held up his hands. "I didn't mean any offense, Commander. In fact, it was just an obser-"

"Is there a problem here, sir?"

Both Jesse and Ahsoka turned to see a frowning Coric, his gaze firmly fixed with a disapproving look on Jesse, standing just over the trooper's left shoulder. Coric's expression wiped the smile from his own.

"No, sir."

"Jesse was just making his appreciation of my mission costume known."

Even as he spoke, Ahsoka was already over talking him and his gaze snapped back to hers with surprise. Unexpectedly, he found he was hurt by the betrayal. Hadn't they been having a nice, friendly conversation? Her gaze slid away from his and she turned away.

"Excuse me."

* * *

Ahsoka headed for the exit of the mess hall, inwardly shaking, her composure cracking and dangerously fragile after Jesse's barrage of questions. As the doors slid open, she nearly ran headlong into Rex.

Their gazes locked, his as blank as before, his jaw set, the revulsion and regret she didn't have to concentrate to feel hitting her like a brick wall. She didn't wait to feel or hear anything else, a broken, barely audible apology slipping from her lips. "I'm sorry!" Turning away, barely managing not to run, she walked away from him swiftly.

Away from that look and his overpowering disgust.

Away from the men who would have seen the ever so brief encounter.

Away from the memories and the hopes that now made up her shattered heart.

Ahsoka didn't care where she went, she just knew she couldn't go back to her quarters just yet, especially not now. Not after having seen him. Not with his scent in her senses. The memories threatened to drown her. They were what had been responsible for driving her to the mess hall in the first place and now Ahsoka knew she should never have gone.

* * *

Jesse watched Ahsoka leave, her tray still on the table, his brows drawing together. Was it something he'd said? The doors slid open to let her out of the mess hall and Jesse watched as she almost careened straight into Captain Rex.

They shared a look and a few words which made Jesse inwardly cringe. If she shared anything about what he'd said… but she didn't look his way and as abruptly as she'd left, Rex followed - but headed in the other direction, without having entered the mess hall.

Strange. If the Commander was upset, the Captain usually-

"Jesse."

His gaze snapped back to Coric's and he belatedly got to his feet and snapped off a salute to the Sergeant, his musing about his senior officers all but forgotten. Coric's expression was one he was familiar with; his no-nonsense face. "Sir!"

"Sit, trooper."

Had Coric heard his slightly inappropriate comment to the Commander? His presence said he probably had. Curiosity, by far, was his greatest weakness and landed him in the most trouble. Inwardly, Jesse grimaced but did as he was told, bracing himself for more demerits and ship duty.

It would be another long day tomorrow.


	6. Chapter 5

**Author's Note:** The start of this chapter is the original and 'lost' chapter #5 that **emjalen** has now re-posted on her profile. The last part is chapter 2 of **emjalen's** rewrite. Both parts have tweaks and edits here and there.

* * *

**Chapter 5**

**_The _****Resolute ****_Post Catalyst - Day Two - Morning_**

Steam misted throughout the locker room as showers ran. Voices echoed loudly through the massive room as troopers prepared for their shifts.

Rex didn't pay much attention to his brothers' banter as about half the 501st good naturedly ragged on and joked with each other. Flipping off the sanisteam controls, he ducked out of the stall and grabbed his towel.

Roughly, he dried the moisture from his buzz, and started toweling down, bending over, the actions not dissimilar to every other day. A routine he was glad to have to come home to. Familiar. Comfortable. He could immerse himself completely within in and forget he'd ever done anything else. Slicking the moisture from his feet, he suppressed the exhaustion of a sleepless night heaped on top of a stressful week that had been unlike anything he'd ever been through before.

Ruthlessly turning his thoughts away from the _why _of his sleepless night and what had come before it, he dropped the towel on the floor and pulled his bodyglove from his locker. He had it on just over his thighs when a choked gasp behind him drew his attention.

"Captain Rex - I…what happened to your back?"

Conversations abruptly died, and clones, in various stages of dress, turned to look at their frozen Captain.

Rex straightened sharply, and then winced as his back twinged in pain. His mind raced as he tried to think of what the Trooper was talking about and an image he was trying to forget unexpectedly blossomed behind his eyes like a vivid holo replay.

_Gasping into Ahsoka's mouth, he tightened his grip on her hips, their bodies slippery from sweat. She moaned as he thrust back into her, and, as she struggled to hold his back, he felt small trails of fire erupt on muscle and bone as her nails dug in._

He cut his thoughts off, _hard_.

He'd missed communal showers and nearly been late to the briefing after waking in Ahsoka's room the previous morning, barely managing to wash the damning scent of her, and his, transgressions from his skin. He'd not considered there might be other evidence. Did the marks her nails left look like slash marks?

Just about everyone in the locker room was starting at him, curiosity rampant on every face but no one daring to move or make a sound.

A half-broken choking sound echoed into the silence and all eyes turned to Echo, who looked abruptly uncomfortable. The noise broke the silence. Speculations were suddenly being voiced as everyone tried to figure out what woman the Captain had fucked so… enthusiastically.

Rex added nothing to the conversation, crouching to finish rolling the body glove up his body. It was at his chest before the Trooper who had asked the question spoke again.

"I don't get it," the shiny, visibly so by the lack of scars over muscle, looked confused and then a bit embarrassed, blushing angrily. "What did I say?" he snapped, visibly offended at what he likely saw as laughter directed _at_ him. "Those scratches look like claw marks, and if they don't get properly treated-"

Fives, the unhelpful _di'kut_, burst out laughing as Kix clapped the shiny on the shoulder. "Those aren't claw wounds," the medic drawled as Rex finished covering the damning evidence and began fastening his armor with sharp movements.

"Yeah," Jesse snorted. "Those, shiny, are fuck-me-harder scratches."

Rex felt a dull flush starting up his neck as he bent to fasten a knee guard and the clasps on his boots. The shiny- what was his name... Del? - looked mortified, eyes widening as he turned a brilliant, scarlet red.

Good. Rex was not feeling the least bit charitable to his newest brother. A small voice in the back of his head reminded him that it would be an abuse of power if he made the shiny's life living hell. Dressed and back in control, he turned flashing eyes on his men.

"All of you, shut up!" he bellowed.

Gratifyingly, the locker room fell silent. Identical eyes turned to meet his, all reflecting the same unspoken question.

"If any of you so much as breathe a word of this to the Commander or the General, you will find yourselves back on Kamino, scrubbing out the long necks' toilets for the rest of your lives!" His growl was uncompromising and harsh. "I don't want to hear another words about this. Knowing you lot," he cast a scathing gaze over them, every inch the implacable Captain as he fastened the last vambrace closure and flexed his fingers, "you'll be gossiping like old biddies behind enemy lines and get your ass shot off by some tinny because you couldn't keep your tongue in your head. Am I clear?"

The parade voice of every soldier rang back immediately. "Sir, yes, _sir_!"

"Good," Rex stated flatly. He cast his eyes, hard as stone, over his men. Then, grabbing his helmet, he stalked out of the locker room.

Striding down the hall, Rex thought furiously. His orders notwithstanding, this would be all over the Resolute. What if Ahsoka heard? She was doubtlessly angry enough - he was sure the only reason she hadn't had him sent back to Kamino, or had him court-martialed, was her Jedi empathy and forgiveness - and he didn't want to find out what would happen if she found out that the main piece of gossip was his, and consequently her, sex life.

The Captain sighed. When had it all gotten so messed up that fracking paperwork seemed like an escape?

* * *

Kix was chuckling to himself when he entered the med bay, drawing Coric's gaze from his research. "Kix."

"Coric," the younger medic grinned, practically bounding over. "You'll never believe what happened in the showers this morning."

Not unfamiliar with what _could _happen in the showers between the testosterone charged brothers, Coric turned back to his terminal, uninterested. "Who was fighting and should we expect them in the medbay shortly?"

"Nothing like that," Kix denied, turning to a cupboard nearby and pulling out an inventory chart. "Though I suppose we might see _one _injury now that everyone knows about it."

Making a sound of approval, Coric wasn't really paying attention to Kix as he frowned at his screen, not at all happy with what he'd found while researching causes of bruising. Especially the kind his Commander was sporting. What he'd found so far was not reassuring.

"Coric."

"That's nice Kix." The response was automatic as he considered the contents of the information slide. Words like 'love-play' and 'screwing' or 'fucking' were prominent in the context, coupled with things like 'love-bites', 'hickies' and-

"_Coric!"_

"What?" Annoyed, he turned from his research. "Shower room shenanigans aren't uncommon or unexpected," he told the younger medic sternly. "Neither are they the cause of alarm. I'm in the middle of something, Kix. Whatever happened can wait."

"Not this, Sarge."

"Unless someone is coming to us with a broken bone or sucking chest wound-"

"This is better."

Arching his eyebrows, Coric crossed his arms over his chest and spun on the stool to fully face Kix, realizing the other wouldn't leave him be until he said his piece. "I'm listening."

"You are never going to believe me."

"Kix."

His tone must have cautioned the younger man that he wasn't in the mood to be trifled with. Kix's impish smile made his eyes sparkle and he was practically vibrating from whatever news he had to share. Coric wasn't kept waiting long.

"A certain commanding officer of ours is sporting some interesting scratch patterns."

"Scratch patterns." Coric closed his eyes, rubbing one hand across his forehead. "I'm in the middle of serious research regarding an injury I have never seen, and you interrupted me for _scrat_-"

"Fuck me harder scratches, Coric." Kix cut him off, subdued elation and amusement in his voice. "_Rex _has fuck-me-harder scratches - on his _back_!"

Kix's words rang alarms bells in Coric's brain. His hand stopped on his head as he considered the statement. _Fuck me harder scratches on the Captain. The Commander is sporting marks often gained from…No._ Slowly, his hand fell and he lifted his gaze back to Kix's. The other medic's smile slipped and finally died, passing into a frown as something on Coric's expression gave him pause.

"What is it?"

Coric spun back to his work station, flipping through the several other pages of research he'd already read through that morning, searching for one he'd discarded. The information scrolled across the screen quickly. _Where… there!_

"Coric?"

"One second Kix."

"What is it? You look murderous all of a sudden."

Scrolling through the information, he cross referenced it and didn't like what he was seeing one bit. It wasn't possible. His Captain and Commander wouldn't… They were a team, a unit, partners that worked so well together they often didn't need words. Likely a reason they'd been chosen for the classified mission together, among others, but they _weren't _a couple.

They had come back at odds, though.

The details of everything he'd seen, coupled with everything he'd read since treating the Commander and seeing her and Rex together when they'd arrived back at the ship, juxtaposed by the brief non-encounter by the mess hall, drew him all sorts of unwelcome and ugly conclusions. He had to be wrong.

"Was the Captain sporting a bite mark, Kix?"

"A…" Kix cocked his head and frowned, visibly replaying the image of the encounter with Rex in his mind. "I can't remember. Why?"

"_Think._ Was he displaying a bite mark - probably on the neck or shoulders."

"I didn't think to look beyond the damage to his back. What's this about, Coric?"

"_Fekking _son of a Fett." The words slipped past Coric's gritted teeth as he skimmed the article about various species' mating practices. If he was right... "I'm going to kill him."

"The _Captain_?!" Kix grabbed him by the shoulder. "Coric, _what_ is going on?"

Taking a deep breath, the senior medic turned to face the junior. "We have a delicate situation on our hands, Kix."

"I'd hardly call the Captain sporting the evidence of a little fun, a delicate situation, sir."

"It is if there's a certain female we both respect involved."

"A certain…" Kix blinked, obviously not following.

"She's our, and consequently _his_, commanding officer."

"The _Commander_?!"

Standing, Coric grabbed Kix by both shoulders. "You don't breathe a word of this to anyone, understand?"

"I wouldn't even think it! Rex would _never _touch the Commander, Coric. She's a _Jedi_." Shaking his head, Kix pulled away. "No. You're wrong. He probably got those scratches on the mission. Who knows what they were assigned to do."

Kix had a point, but even as Coric considered the thought, he discarded it. The image of Rex draping Ahsoka in his jacket, his bare, _unmarred _back, was clear in Coric's memory. Rex's actions, his refusal to allow him to treat Ahsoka, had given Coric a rather unique view, one most troopers wouldn't know or remember.

Allowing Kix to keep his illusions, Coric dropped his hands and turned back to the terminal, hoping he was wrong, but certain he wasn't. "Or a contractor here on the _Resolute_, right?"

"Right." Kix agreed eagerly. "Anyone except the Commander. She'd probably knock him flat on his ass if he tried anything anyway. She might be small, but she packs one hell of a wallop!"

Kix disappeared into another part of the medbay and Coric exhaled, flexing his fingers, his suspicions only gaining certainty despite Kix's vehement denials. The last comment by the other medic, however, gave him pause. _Could _the Captain have taken advantage of the Commander without her consent? Was it possible?

If Coric had learned anything on the front lines, especially as a medic, it was that _anything _was possible. And if his Captain had taken advantage of his Commander when she was at her most vulnerable, as he suspected had happened, there was going to be hell to pay.

* * *

**_The _****Resolute ****_Post Catalyst - Day Two - Late Morning_**

There were few things Anakin Skywalker hated more than being idle or in the sand, and being confused was one of them.

Admittedly, having one's skull broken into pieces inside one's head was a good as reason as any for being confused, but Obi-Wan had always claimed Anakin's head had already been damaged too many times for another bashing to make a difference. Anakin would argue that he simply had a hard head.

Being a General had matured him faster than anything else could have, and while Anakin was still a bit uneasy with the responsibility, he also claimed it fully. The 501st was his to lead, his to protect in battlefield and his to win victories with.

Ahsoka was his to - Force help him - teach and guide in the proper ways of the Jedi, which he was failing not quite so spectacularly as he thought, at.

And Rex was the man who'd been patient with a talented, but inexperienced, General and never balked at some of Anakin's crazier ideas. The clone Captain was solid, a steadying presence for both him _and _his Padawan, and kept a good track on the pulse of the ship. There was a reason why Anakin hadn't been quick in granting Rex a promotion for a Commander of a different company and it had nothing to do with inability.

So it was a very unhappy Anakin Skywalker that made his way to Captain Rex's office for the simple reason that if there was something the Jedi Knight hated more than paperwork, it was having to correct one of his best men about _how _they did said paperwork.

The good Captain's door was open, and Anakin knocked on it, announcing his presence before stepping into the doorway and putting his shoulder against the jamb. "Captain Rex, mind explaining this?"

The clone looked up, and Anakin could feel his eyebrows rising. Rex was haggard, his eyes bloodshot, the lines on his face more pronounced, his whole posture screaming weary defensiveness. Rex looked awful - like he'd gotten no sleep and just come off an extended battlefield grinder.

"Sir?"

The crispness in Rex's answer was as it ever was, though, and Anakin pushed aside the roughness of Rex's appearance in favor of his reason for visiting. "Your report on your and Ahsoka's mission, Captain." Waving the datapad in his hand, which contained the most pathetic excuse for a report he'd ever seen Rex write, he drew the other man's attention to it. "All _four_ lines of it."

In truth, Anakin was more than bit perturbed Ahsoka had been sent on a mission without his permission. The knowledge that Rex had been looking after her soothed him somewhat. If anyone could curb Ahoska's wild tendencies - _tendencies she'd inherited from you,_ a niggling voice in the back of his head pointed out _- _it was Rex.

He'd almost been looking forward to reading the report, if only to guess how crazy his impulsive Padawan had driven the stalwart clone Captain.

What he'd gotten, instead of the detailed reconstruction of events, was a series of four lines. Four lines which basically consisted of the dry and sparse conclusion: "We came. We did our job. We left."

Not that Anakin blamed Rex for not wanting to spend time on a report, but even for the efficient clone army, the report was too short. Not to mention unusual for Rex, who recorded details Anakin sometimes wished he'd left out. Like when his Captain had mentioned that incident with the cliff and Obi-Wan had gotten a hold of it...

"Is my report below standards, General?"

Anakin chuckled. "Is that a rhetorical question?"

"No, sir."

Rex genuinely looked uncomfortable and Anakin decided to take pity on him. "Rex, I know writing reports is like suffocating in drying durrocrete, but you have to put a _little_ more detail in it than _four _lines. Believe me, if it was up to me, I wouldn't care _what _you wrote, but you know some bureaucrat is going to get all huffy over it and you'll have to re-write it. Just do it now, before we both have to deal with all the interdepartmental politics that come with an unsatisfactory report."

"Of course, sir," Rex answered stiffly, with a salute.

Anakin ignored the fact that Rex didn't make a move to do anything, especially take back the datapad, and took a seat. He slid the datapad across the desk towards the clone. "So how did you end up on a mission with Ahsoka anyway? The report wasn't exactly clear," he pinned Rex with a pointed look, "and I'd like to know who's ordering my Padawan around."

"Besides you, sir?" Rex inquired dryly.

Anakin grinned at him. "Exactly."

"General Kenobi thought, in your absence, I'd be the most appropriate person to accompany her."

"I should have known Obi-Wan had a hand in this." He reached over and clapped Rex on the shoulder. "I'm glad she had you with her, Captain. You're a good influence on her. She didn't give you any lip, did she?"

Rex broke into a coughing fit that made Anakin lean slightly away. "No...sir. Padawan... Commander Tano more than adequately performed her role on the mission."

"Right." Anakin's tone was dry. "The mission. Speaking of this mission, I have no idea what it was about, despite the fact that both my Padawan and Captain were gone for a week. Apparently Republic Intel thinks it's none of my business. Care to share, Rex?"

The clone went still.

"Well?" Anakin demanded.

"Sir...you should ask the Commander about it."

"I'm asking you, Rex. I'll ask Ahsoka later."

"General..." Rex seemed to be searching for words, pale under his tan. Anakin frowned at the unease and guilt wafting from his Captain. Rex was normally more controlled than that. "Some of Ahso- Commander Tano's duties, as demanded by the mission were very..." there was another pause that just made Anakin uneasy, "…_personal_. Quite frankly sir, I wouldn't feel right talking to you about them. If you want to know what happened, you should speak to the Commander."

The implication was harsh and dread skittered up Anakin's spine, his own background giving him plenty of fodder for filling in the blanks of what Rex _wasn't _saying. _Surely they wouldn't have...not _my _Padawan. This is the Republic, not Tattooine..._ His voice hardened, lowering. "Just what kind of _personal duties _was she required to perform, _Captain_?"

Rex shook his head, voice firm. "Sir, with all due respect, I'm not discussing it further."

"I'll make it an order."

"And I'll respectfully decline, sir. Throw me in the brig and court-martial me if you feel it's necessary, but sharing the details of the mission is Commander Tano's prerogative. You'll need to speak with her."

There was no question that Rex meant every word of it and, to top it off, Anakin got the strangest feeling that Rex was _hoping _he'd make it an order just so the clone could refuse.

Angry, and not just with his Captain's refusal, Anakin jerked to his feet, fist clenched. "I'll do that, Captain. In the meantime, I expect your report to be done properly this time, and on my desk by tomorrow morning." He walked out of Rex's office, only to stop, and turn back. "And Captain?" Rex looked up, eyes dark. "We're going to discuss this after I talk to my Padawan. If someone's done something inappropriate with her, I need to know."

And then break every bone in that person's body for presuming to hurt Ahsoka in any way, shape, or form. Anakin had already lost one woman in his life. He wasn't going to lose another.

* * *

As Anakin left, the door closed behind him and Rex gave up all pretense of control. Shaking, he rose to his feet and crossed to the door, locking it. Standing there, with one hand on the wall beside the control panel, the other balled into a fist and slammed into the door.

He barely registered the pain.

What he'd done to Ahsoka was unforgivable.

The delicate balance he had maintained in his relationship with Ahsoka as she'd continued mature, was destroyed. Her age, and the developments which accompanied it, were facts he'd struggled to ignore for some time.

So Rex had drawn lines. He'd called her _little 'un_, even though she wasn't, and treated her like he would a student. He had done a good job of it - up until that _blasted_ mission. The mission his _General _wanted a proper report for.

The invisible lines drawn in the sand between himself and his Commander were now not only visible, but mangled and broken. He'd taken advantage of her. _Attacked _her in her own room and taken what he'd needed so desperately. He'd stolen her innocence and treated her no better than the low life's he'd been charged with protecting her from.

An image of finding Quill with Ahsoka backed into a wall at _The Catalyst_ on the last night of their mission, blossomed in his mind.

_The owner of The Catalyst, Quill, - an older gentleman with tanned skin and piercing, shrewdly intelligent green eyes under silvering golden hair with an air of respectability and refinement - pinned Ahsoka to the wall with a lascivious look. His hand was high on her thigh, his thumb on her hip as his body brushed hers. The only thing to keep the lecher at bay was Ahsoka's posture - the fingers of her right hand walking up the other man's chest as a way to both tease the man and keep him away._

Rex's hand flexed, his fist slamming into the door again as the image shifted and morphed, replacing Quill's image with his own, altered only slightly.

_His hands shot out, capturing her. Lifting her, he spun her against the wall next to the door. His armor clad body came down hard on hers as he stared deeply into her wide eyes. Eyes that were stormy, darkening from glittering cerulean to deep sapphire. His hands pinned hers at the wrist, just above shoulder height on either side of her head, his mouth coming down on her with the savage hunger he could no longer contain._

And marked her with the violence of his possession in the process. Self-loathing and hate filled him. He had _bruised_ her, laughing, strong, and wildly beautiful Ahsoka.

Just as Zidel had predicted, it was all his hands were good for.

Having seen the damage, Rex couldn't bring himself to face her again. He couldn't bear to see the betrayal, disgust, and possible hate in her eyes. He wouldn't be able to stand it, though he knew he should soldier up and face the consequences of his actions. He had hurt his best friend, his partner, his Commander, and there was no forgiveness in his mind for his actions.

He'd ruined their relationship by exposing her to the only things he knew, the things he'd been taught from the moment he was decanted. The things he'd been careful to shield her from until this mission had stripped away his control and left him exposed and raw.

Control.

Dominance.

Ferocity.

Aggression.

_I should never have gone to her room. Never have touched her. If I'd just kept my _fekking _hands to myself, I never would have-_

But regrets weren't going to help him and the General hadn't taken his dare. He couldn't just come right out and ask to be court-martialed and thrown in the brig without explaining why. Something he wasn't about to do, no matter how often or how insistently Anakin asked. He owed Ahsoka that - and so much more.

Somehow, he would simply have to immerse himself in leading his men and find some way to work with Ahso- _Commander Tano_ without giving her further cause to hate and revile him. He didn't know how to fix this. So…he would ignore it, like a good Trooper did.

From now on, he would be nothing but the model soldier he'd been bred and trained to be.

He might have destroyed their personal relationship, but their professional one couldn't afford to suffer. For the sake of the men, he would bury his shame, take whatever punishment she deemed necessary without retaliation, and treat her with the professionalism and cool detachment that had marked his career thus far.

There could be, would be, no more lapses. He wouldn't allow there to be.


	7. Chapter 6

**Author's Note:** All new material

* * *

**Chapter 6**

**_The _****Resolute ****_Post Catalyst - Day Three - Late Morning_**

Duty called before Anakin had the chance to address his concerns about the mission Rex and Ahsoka had been on. He was forced to suppress and control the simmering suspicions as he spoke with Masters Plo and Windu, collecting the latest of the intelligence that had been gathered. He spent most of his day sequestered going over battle plans that couldn't wait, only seeing Ahsoka briefly before Coric had called her away to the medbay for a follow up on her knife wound.

A wound Anakin _still _didn't know the story of.

Rex, Echo and Fives worked together with Admiral Yularen and the Officers from the other divisions in holo conference with him to plan the defense of the major cities and form a counter attack. Ahsoka had been, to his frustration, excused - medic's orders.

The following morning, Anakin was again sequestered, this time with the Admiral alone on a call to the Jedi Council for the last of the information before they were to arrive in orbit later that day.

The briefing that followed was, mercifully, quick. Fives, Echo, Rex and Ahsoka were all present. It was _supposed _to have been Ahsoka's briefing to give, but she'd all but ignored his attempts to see her yesterday and Coric had finally kept him away with an order. Something about needing to recover from the _classified _mission she'd been on with Rex.

Anakin kept an eye on his Padawan, inwardly concerned when she seemed… less vibrant at first glance. He hadn't noticed when he'd first seen her upon her return, but then the first full day out of bacta he wasn't normally at his best. Nor, he supposed, had he suspected that the mission she and Rex had been on as anything but routine.

Even as the briefing ended, Ahsoka was the first out the door - unusual in of itself - but even more unusual was that Rex wasn't on her heels. He stayed behind, discussing something with Echo and Fives and was shaking his head, frowning. Ever the contentious soldier, Rex didn't so much as glance at the young woman he'd spent a week alone with which, Anakin felt, was a little strange.

Fortunately, it gave him the chance to go after his Padawan.

Ahsoka was at the end of the corridor, turning towards the turbolift, when Anakin gained the hallway. He was about to step through when Echo called him back. He almost continued onward, except his responsibility to his men held him back.

"_General? Do you have a minute?"_

Anakin stood undecided for a moment, looking towards where Ahsoka had disappeared before looking back to the ARC. He wrestled with the decision for longer than was probably required.

Whatever Ahsoka had been forced to do on that blasted mission had already happened and there was nothing he could do to change it now. This military action, however, was pending and needed his attention. Reluctantly, he turned back to the conference room.

* * *

Ahsoka exhaled as she rounded the corner from the briefing room, folding her hands together in front of her as she attempted to calm her nerves. Rex was still radiating the same volatile, emotional cocktail and she hadn't yet found a defense against. She'd considered trying to talk with him again, but after nearly colliding with him outside the mess hall two nights before, she hadn't found the courage to do so.

He visibly wanted nothing to do with her, having turned his complete attention back to the men and the upcoming mission.

_That's what I need to do._

Somehow, she needed to get her mind off the aching hole in her chest that only seemed to grow every time she saw Rex and-

"_General? Do you have a minute?"_

Ahsoka froze at Echo's inquiry, just loud enough to reach her around the corner. Anakin's response was muffled and she glanced back around the corner to see him turn and go back into the briefing room and the door slide shut behind him.

Coric had told her Anakin was looking for her.

Not that she minded spending time with her Master, but she had a sinking feeling she knew _exactly_ what he was going to ask. Unlike the Troopers, telling _Anakin _the mission was classified wasn't likely to have much of an effect. He was cleared for classified information - mostly. Based on the fact he hadn't been allowed to see the file before ending up in the bacta tank, it was probably safe to assume that this particular mission had been a 'need to know' one.

If nothing else, it would buy her some time.

The _need_ to talk to Rex was sudden and fierce, coupled almost immediately by a searing pain in the center of her chest. One hand went to it, clutching fiercely for a brief second before dropping her hand and gritting her teeth. It was bad enough the Troopers who knew her best continued to ask after her health. A breakdown in the corridor would only lend to the gossip Jesse had unintentionally clued her in to.

Leaving the area, she went the last place Anakin would look for her. The observation deck.

It didn't take long to get there and within moments, she was tucked away in a corner, watching the starlines race by. She crossed her arms over the lower bar of the safety rail, leaning her cheek on her hands, her feet dangling down towards the next deck. Why Anakin never thought she'd be here, she didn't know, but she'd learned a long time ago that Anakin never came to the observation deck. Maybe he just didn't like starlines - or maybe he, like she, preferred company when star gazing. Normally she was with Rex-

"Sir?"

She straightened - and hit the back of her montrals on the bottom of the rail she was sitting under. A very un-Jedi-like curse escaped her lips as her head rang, making her see double for a second as she turned to look at the intruder.

The ARC Trooper cocked his head at her, his expression compassionate. Not a look one typically saw on an ARC's face, but then, Echo was no ordinary ARC Trooper. "Are you alright, Commander?

Lifting one hand to rub the back of her head, she turned her gaze back to the starlines. "A bit of a headache," she told him truthfully. Echo was quiet and Ahsoka sighed, knowing that wasn't what he was asking. She wasn't 'alright'. She wasn't 'okay' or 'fine', but Ahsoka was reluctant to lie to him. "I'm... tired."

Ahsoka was about to duck out from under the rails, already making to get to her feet, when Echo surprised her and sat down, forestalling the move. His legs slid beneath the rail as he nimbly settled next to her. He leaned back on his hands instead of on the rail, his gaze mercifully on the star lines and not her. He glanced her way, as if to make sure he was welcome, and then turned his attention away from her again.

There was silence for a long minute and Ahsoka resumed her seat, turning back to the rail and took up her previous posture. Echo had always been rather soothing company, knowing when to talk and when to listen, but mostly he just seemed to know when to break the silences. Rex-

Her throat closed and tears flooded her eyes, forcing her to close them.

"If I lost my best friend," Echo's quiet comment was understated and loaded with implication, "I would be more than just 'tired'."

Her head whipped towards him, her eyes flying open. "What?"

The compassion in Echo's eyes was underlain with concern. "If Fives ever _tried_ to do to me what Rex is doing to you, I'd deck him."

A gurgle of laughter came out on a hiccup. "I've thought about it, trust me."

"Should I set up a time?"

"I…" the thought of facing Rex across a practice mat would have filled her with anticipation a week ago. Now, all Ahsoka felt was the humiliating certainty that he simply wouldn't show. He didn't respect her enough anymore to spend his off duty time with her. _I was a fool!_ "I couldn't-"

"I nominate myself to stand in for you, Commander. He could stand to kiss the mat a few times."

The image of Rex kissing the mat was quickly overlain with Rex kissing _her_.

_Rex swallowing her plea and she suddenly flush against him. His mouth slightly parted over hers, his head tilting to the side. Her mouth opening under the pressure of his with a whimper. His fingers on her jaw sliding backwards, cupping her neck, stroking the vulnerable veins beneath her lekku as he plundered her lips._

Tears welled in her eyes as she fought off the memory. Rex _had _never kissed her like that again and _would_ never kiss her like that again.

"Ahsoka?"

She jerked, her attention refocusing on Echo. She couldn't look at him, lest he see her vulnerability. It took her a moment to recall what he'd said and, when she did - despite the pain of the situation - she couldn't help but appreciate his offer. "I don't think it would solve anything."

There was quiet for a moment before Echo, in his understated way, broached the topic not even Coric had dared. One hand lifted to his own neck and traced a circle, his meaning unmistakable. "If nothing else, it might teach him a lesson for taking advantage of you."

"Echo-"

But he wasn't finished. "If you can't deal with him directly, sir, I'm willing to act as a mediator."

Touched, she wished she could take him up on his offer. Everything was still too new, too _raw _of a rejection and for all Echo was tactful, she didn't dare feed his suspicions. The only people who knew exactly what had happened were herself and Rex and she intended to keep it that way. Swallowing, she shook her head. "I appreciate the offer Echo, but… this is my fault and I have to fix it. I just… I just have to wait until Rex is ready to let me fix it."

"Whatever you did, Ahsoka, Rex's response is disproportionate. _Nothing_," he emphasized firmly, "you've ever done, no matter how scandalous, deserves this."

His word choice was too precise. Too... _perfect_ but she wasn't about to confirm anything. "You don't even know what I did, Echo."

Echo regarded her for such long a moment in solemn silence that Ahsoka got the distinct impression he _did _know. Which, of course, was impossible. He finally shook his head. "You're partners. Rex has stood by you through everything until now, just as you have him," his gaze never wavered even as she blinked back fresh tears. "You've seen him at his worst, just as he has no doubt seen you at yours. Whatever happened on that mission, or _after _it, his disregard for you now is unacceptable."

"I… Echo…"

"You don't have to say anything, Commander," Echo rose to his feet. "Just know that if you need anything, all you have to do is ask."

He left her alone on the observation deck with much to think about as silent tears filled her eyes, threatening to fall, her blurred gaze back on the starlines.

_Rex. Oh Rex, why won't you talk to me?_

Ducking her head, she tucked her face into the corner of her elbow and struggled for some semblance of poise. The hum of the engines as the ship came out of hyperspace didn't faze her and Ahsoka had just barely managed to compose herself when the claxons began to blare and the cry of "_All hands to battle stations!" _rang out over the loud speakers.

Swallowing her tears and wiping her face, she extricated herself from the rail and pushed to her feet, exiting the observations deck at a run. If they'd come out of hyperspace to the klaxons, it meant the Seppies were early.

She was assigned to the landing team, a team that would suddenly have a much more difficult landing than anticipated. The blood lust suddenly pumping through her veins was familiar and welcome, washing away the rest of the emotional upheaval she'd been feeling.

Clarity of purpose kept her steps in line and, as she hit the flight deck running, a cursory glance showed her that the ARCs were already away. Rex and the rest of the team were just boarding the LAART/is.

Deliberately, she headed for one with a series of shinies. Under other circumstances she'd have ridden with Rex but not today. She needed to focus and that wasn't going to happen standing next to him.

For better or worse, she was going down with an untried crew. If nothing else, it would keep her occupied on the here and now in ways nothing on board ship had.


	8. Chapter 7

**Author's Note:** Mostly new material but based on a sequence mentioned in the original first chapter.

Happy New Year, everyone, I hope it brings you everything you wish for! Bonne Année!

* * *

**Chapter 7**

**_Base Camp, Post Catalyst - Day Three - Night_**

_"Kix, I'm sending Commander Tano your way,"_ his ear comm. buzzed to life as Kix was taking stock of a much depleted supply closet, the major injuries which had needed his attention finally tended to. _"She's ornery and believes she doesn't need it."_

"I copy," he replied with a shake of his head. The Commander never believed she needed medical assistance until all of her men were tended to. He'd be willing to bet she could be on death's door and _still _believe the same. "Does the Captain know?"

_ "I'll tell him."_

Bloodied and battered, Ahsoka dragged herself into the medical ward shortly thereafter, her steps visibly reluctant. She was covered in soot and blood, obviously having been in the thickest of the fighting. The line of a blaster bolt was cut through the fabric of her skirt, her sienna skin peeping through the gash. She stopped just inside the door and caught his gaze

"Before you say anything Kix," she told him with a weary sigh, "I'm _fine_. Coric is just being overprotective."

"I'm sure he'd have treated you himself, sir," he motioned for her to come closer, to the table where she could sit and he could examine her, "but he's on triage, which leaves you to me."

"I can do this myself, I-"

"Coric's orders, Commander," amused despite himself, Kix was already examining her critically, noting her slight limp and how the tear in her clothing seemed to be impact damage, not from the bolt. "Have a seat."

She glanced back towards the door before reluctantly sitting herself on the table. Kix motioned for her to lie down, which she did, slowly. To his trained medic's eye, she seemed to be moving with more care than normal. "How's the hip, sir?"

"Sore," she quipped, though to his ears, it lacked enthusiasm.

"It looks like you landed on something the wrong way." Kix examined the torn fabric of her skirt and then, absently slipping on fresh gloves, went to work. "This tear isn't from the bolt."

"I slid the wrong way down one of the large rocks we had to go over and caught a burr. Then I landed and took the blaster hit. Go figure."

"Reckless."

He caught her rolling her eyes at his tease and began to make the tear bigger with a pair of sheers. It was high on her hip bone, nothing that would be embarrassing if someone entered, but enough to show her skin from belly and the outer curve of one buttock. He pulled the fabric away and stopped, his eyes narrowing at the damage to her hip.

The blaster bolt had grazed her skin, leaving a raised line of angry red blisters. Just above it, and below it, was the scratch of the rock burr, intersecting the bolt's line of fire. A half an inch to the left and she'd have been hit in the hip joint, taking her out of the fight. Under it was what looked like a faded impact bruise, not yet fully healed. As minor as her wounds were, however, it was another injury that held Kix's attention.

Around her hip towards the rear, just visible where he'd pulled the fabric away, were the clear, darkened imprints, already changing color, of finger tips. On the front of her hip, a single, larger circle of a thumb print was unmistakable.

Coric's earlier assertion about the Captain and the Commander rang through his ears and suddenly Kix wasn't so sure the Sergeant was wrong. Lifting his gaze to hers, he kept his voice carefully neutral and calm. "Is there anything you want to tell me Commander?"

Her eyes seemed to glaze for a moment before she shook her head, and a strained, sheepish smile crossed her lips. "I lost my grip on the security strap, coming down in on the vanguard. One of Torrent Company grabbed me - thank the Force."

_She's lying_.

Even as he thought it, Ahsoka continued, rolling her eyes as he tried to catch her gaze, refusing to meet his.

"Skyguy would have been _insufferable_ in his lectures if I had actually _fallen_ out of the transport. I don't even want to imagine how unbearable he'd be for the next month,"

Her words were an echo of the self she'd been before her mission on Ord Mantell, but one he'd not seen much of, now that he thought about it, since her return. Kix frowned at her, disturbed by the fact she wasn't trusting him. The bruises were obviously days old, old enough that had to have happened either during the mission she'd been on with Rex, or the day after. Hardly something she'd have gotten on the flight down, as plausible as her story would have been otherwise.

He was about to challenge her when a scuffle of a boot caught his attention. Glancing up, he schooled his expression as he saw Captain Rex in the doorway, staring at them both. He nodded respectfully to his company commander. "Captain."

Kix would have had to been blind to miss Ahsoka's reaction.

She stiffened for a moment before turning her head, exposing a small edge of a darker bruise on her neck, as she looked over her shoulder at Rex. As she turned, Rex's gaze visibly dropped to her exposed flesh, his jaw clenching and the tendons in his neck tightening from the force of it. Distinctly audible was the creek of plastoid against plastoid as Rex's hand flexed and then formed a fist.

Ahsoka's hand crept up, covering the back of her hip and the bruise there, another bruise visible on her wrist out of the corner of Kix's eye.

The Captain turned away without saying a word or even acknowledging Kix's presence, calling for Coric and a casualty update. On the examination table, Ahsoka sagged, as if suddenly under a monumental amount of pressure.

_Coric was right._

Shocked to silence, Kix stared after the Captain for a moment before his gaze dropped to the teenager on his examination table. Ahsoka had admitted that a _clone_ had bruised her, she'd simply told him the wrong one. The spread of the fingers matched and a sudden, blinding fury struck Kix as he realized what this implied.

_Rex _had bruised Ahsoka. As a medic, Kix had only ever seen bruises in one context. They were were marks of violence and aggression. Violence was something clones were bred for, trained for; geared for. Their capacity for violence was something no Jedi could fully understand. _Rex_ had bruised _Ahsoka_, a Jedi who would _never _have raised a hand to any of her men, especially Rex.

If _Rex _had caused the injuries he was seeing, _Rex _was responsible for taking advantage of her. Based on Ahsoka's posture and reaction to Rex's presence, Kix could only draw the conclusion that it had been an unwelcome advantage.

Coric's expletive suddenly made sense and Kix was inclined to agree with him. He was going to murder his Captain for showing such disrespect for the young woman who'd always led them with such confidence and grace!

"Kix?"

His attention came back to his patient. "Sorry, Commander," he resumed his task, setting to cleaning her wounds and ignoring the simmering anger in his gut.

"It's not his fault."

Their gazes met and Kix shook his head, realizing she must have used the Force on his unguarded reaction. "You and your Jedi tricks."

"It's not his fault."

"I don't see how this," he gently brushed one fingertip over the bruise on her buttock, "can't be anything but what it is. Did he take advantage of you, sir?"

She was quiet, not meeting his gaze again.

Kix took that as confirmation even as his hands continued to doctor her injury. "He deserves a good thrashing."

"He's your Captain." Her voice was soft but insistent. "Leave it alone, Kix."

"You aren't thinking of letting him get away with this, are you?"

"What's done is done. Leave it alone."

He almost asked if it was an order but thought better of it. If she didn't order him, and he didn't ask for clarification, he could act with impunity. Rex had taken advantage of their Commander. Unacceptable. Once she was tended to and her wounds covered, Kix had every intention of finding Coric, providing there were no more wounded being sent his way, and discussing the matter in private. Rex couldn't be allowed to get away with it, but if anyone, even the General, found out…

Kix was under no illusion as to what would happen.

The fewer who knew the better. For all their sakes.

* * *

"Sergeant! Casualty report!"

Rex turned away from the sickening sight of what his hands had done to just one part of Ahso- Commander Tano, not needing the reminder.

Each indent, each bruise, each imprint was indelibly marked on the back of his eyelids. Every time he closed his eyes, he saw it and every time he tried to sleep, he could think of nothing else. Nothing but the sway of her hips, suddenly blossoming with color. How the sensuous arch of her neck suddenly bore the stamp of his teeth and lips.

He shouldn't have come. Coric's report that she'd been injured and sent to Kix and not treated his during triage, had given rise to all sorts of fears within him. Fears she'd broken something. Was critically injured, unconscious or worse. Fears she'd been med-evaced to the _Resolute _before he could-

He'd been at the door to the infirmary before he could stop himself, opening the door only to stop cold at the sight of _Ahsoka_, lying on the examination table before Kix, barred from stomach to just below her hip bone.

_I wasn't there to watch her back._

The guilt had struck him first, a double whammy from the sight of her flesh, damaged and torn, driving home just how different things were from a week ago when they'd been landing on Ord Mantell to discover they'd be sharing a room.

In of itself, their mission had been a battle or a different sort, but just as bloody, as _costly_, as the one they'd just finished. Here, they'd won. On Ord Mantell… Rex could only call it a crushing defeat.

And all of it was his fault.

If he hadn't let his guard down when they'd returned, he and Ahsoka might still have been friends. He'd have found some way to manage the painfully acute attraction without attacking her and she would never have been subjected to bearing the obvious marks of his perversion. He'd have been there to prevent this from happening, to prevent her injuries. Possibly to take the bolt that had struck her or fry the clanker who'd zeroed in on her before it had gotten off the shot.

Instead, he'd been unable to control himself and lost her, utterly and completely, and it was no more than what he deserved.

"Sir?"

Coric's clipped inquiry drew Rex's attention from his punitive thoughts and he turned a carefully empty expression on his primary second, extending his hand. "The casualty report, Coric."

"Here, _sir_." A datapad was slapped into his gauntleted hand with more force than was probably necessary. "Will that be all?"

"Am I keeping you from something?"

"No, _sir_," again the strange, clipped emphasis, "awaiting your orders."

Rex pinned Coric with a searching look, taken aback to see the closed, purely professional expression on the face of a man who'd been through hell and back with him. Blank eyes, a carefully controlled expression and perfect posture were a far cry from the man he regularly entrusted the company with. It wasn't a sight he'd seen since... since Coric's introduction to Torrent Company.

"Is there a problem, Sergeant?"

Coric's jaw tensed and Rex wondered what had the other man on edge. It wasn't like him - and it was a welcome distraction from the image he'd just turned his back on. Despite Ahsoka's prominent bruises and the injury on her exposed hip, his treacherous hands had itched to feel her skin under his fingertips one more time. He suppressed the guilty desire with difficulty, missing the first half of Coric's response.

"-you watching her back!"

Frowning, Rex didn't follow. "Once again, Sergeant?"

"If _you_ aren't going to watch her back, _sir_," there was no mistaking the disapproving emphasis this time, "then I will."

Which wasn't what Coric had said to begin with but Coric snapped off a sharp salute and turned away, disappearing into one of the medical tents before Rex could call him on it. Not watch Ahso- Commander Tano's back? He'd nearly gotten his head shot off when she'd launched into the first flurry of defensive shielding maneuvers on the other point position.

Clenching his fingers, he glanced down in surprise when they wouldn't close, finding the report he'd asked for still within his grasp. Ruthlessly pushing every thought of the female he'd wronged from his mind, Rex began to scan the report, making notes as he did so.

Firmly focused, he got back to work.

* * *

_The lights were blinding. _

_Sparkling. _

_The music loud and thrumming, the atmosphere charged and beat after beat filled her with purpose. She'd never danced on the pole before and now it would be a test of ingenuity and memory coupled with her naturally athletic ability._

_Stalking the stage, she posed and played, her muscles responding to her demands with precision and fluidity, her position above the raving, swollen crowd one of power and control. Here, in the lights, she might be posing as a pleasure slave, but in reality, _she_ controlled _them_. Grasping the pole in one hand, she mimicked a series of moves she'd never actually performed, only seen on holovid._

_Ducking, using the pole as a tool. Confident, she swooped and bent, each move, each beat bringing her closer to the edge of the stage. Too close. A suckered hand snapped out and the cool brush of a credit chit touched her skin as it slipped into the top of her outfit._

_It threw her off, for a moment, unease and revulsion skittering down her spine as she threw herself backwards in a handspring and barely missed catching the Rodian in the face. Having judged the distance without looking, she felt the pole between her legs and focused on it, wrapping her thighs around the cool metal with an almost desperate move._

_The center of the stage was safe and here she could feel_ his_ gaze on her. Watching her. Supporting her. Believing in her. Protecting her._

_Furry paws suddenly wrapped around one of her ankles and she was jerked violently to the side, down and off stage into a mass of seething, writhing maleness. Fur, feathers, suckers, scales and smooth skin brushed up against her own and she fought, kicking and scratching to throw them off._

_Fear surged through her along with the Togrutan equivalent of adrenaline, drowning in the morass and anticipating the rescue she knew with sudden clarity would come._

_A strong hand wrapped around her wrist, jerking her upwards -_

_But it wasn't the hand she was expecting. The hand on her wrist hurt and bruised, clutching her too tightly, as if she would try and break free of his grip. _

_Stars exploded behind her eyes and suddenly her back was against a wall. _

_As her vision cleared, it wasn't to the rescue she remembered - _I'm dreaming and this is the Catalyst, Rex is supposed to be here!_ - but to piercing, shrewdly intelligent green eyes staring down at her with a look of lascivious hunger._

_Quill! _

_He leaned in close, his chest brushing hers, his other arm along the wall by her head, boxing her in. "You'll be mine tonight, Kora," the anticipation in his tone was unmistakable, "once you give that dance. I intend to enjoy every minute you're mine."_

_The words filled her with dread and disbelieve even in her dreams. _This can't be happening. Not again. Rex! Rex, help! _Trapped, she placed one hand on the man's chest in an effort to keep him at bay, but not look it. Quill leaned down, his breath feathering across her cheek, nipping at her cheek bone._

_A hard, lustful hand touched her bare knee, sliding upwards, high on her thigh only to stop at the short skirt of her costume and trace it before attempting to move upwards. His touch made her skin crawl._

_"Cock those hips and bend a knee, you little horn headed whore," he purred the words near her montral like some kind of caress or benediction, "and let me give you a taste of what to expect tonight; I like my girls wearing my scent before I strip them bare and make them scream."_

This didn't happen!

_The sequence was supposed to end with Rex cutting Quill off; with _Rex _rescuing her. Looking around, she found no sign of him, as if he'd abandoned her to her fate with Quill._

_She pushed at _the Catalyst's_ owner with her hand and instead his fingers dug in painfully, her hip burning as he bodily came down to pin her fully to the wall, his hand slipping under the edge of her skirt and -_

Ahsoka woke choking on a scream.


	9. Chapter 8

**Author's Note:** Mostly new material but based on a sequence mentioned in the original first chapter

* * *

**Chapter 8**

_**Base Camp, Post Catalyst - Day Four - Early Morning**_

Watch duty was _supposed _to be uneventful.

Chopper liked dead watch for watch duty; the time between midnight and just before rising. No one else wanted it and, with a base camp as large as theirs, he could spend some much anticipated time alone while his brothers grumbled about being stuck on the worst watch.

Watch duty, however, didn't normally involve walking by the Commander's tent and hearing her scream a denial, especially not to be ended abruptly on a choked cry.

Responding before he considered the consequences, Chopper burst into her tent with his weapon at the ready, scanning the small space as he opened his comm. to call for backup-

To find nothing.

Nothing but Commander Tano sitting upright on her pallet, visibly quaking. Nothing but the twisted sheets about her legs and the visible signs of a restless slumber he well recognized from his pallet. She was panting, gasping, her hand at her mouth and streaks of moisture on her cheeks.

Looking around again to see what could have possibly caused such a reaction in his normally unflappable Commander, Chopper once again came up short. There was no evidence of an intruder, no visible cause for what might have caused her to scream.

_"Chopper?" _Zeer's voice came over the comm. _"Status report."_

"All clear sir," he responded, careful not to use the external channel as he regarded his senior officer. The teenager didn't seem to realize he was there yet. "I thought I saw something."

_"What was it?"_

"A native lizard, sir. No threat."

_"Copy that."_

The comm. shut off and Chopper switched to his external mic. "Commander?"

Her gaze turned his way, glassy and unfocused, not seeing him.

Stepping to the edge of the pallet on which she sat, he took a knee and doffed his helmet. At the best of times he was sensitive about his looks, but he doubted dealing with the impersonal helmeted face of an unmarked clone Trooper would help her in that moment. Maybe seeing a familiar, if deformed, face, would. "Commander Tano?"

Still not seeming to see him, Chopper did all he could think of to get her attention, reaching out one set of gloved fingers to touch her shoulder. Ahsoka jumped, seeming to shrink away, reaching to her hip with a wince only to stop, blinking at him several times before speaking. "Chopper?"

She sounded... young. Uncertain. Nothing like the confident Commander he was used to. "Are you alright, sir?"

"Chopper..."

He frowned. "Sir?"

"_You _are asking _me_ if _I'm_ alright?" A giggle escaped her lips, transformed into a hiccup and then, unexpectedly, seemed to fold in on herself, clutching her thin blanket like a talisman against her chest, her nails digging in and starting to tear the fabric. "Why," she practically hiccupped the word, "do people keep," another sobbing hiccup, "asking me that?"

"Are you hurt, sir?" The meltdown of such a normally stoic Commander threw him, alarm and concern warring with confusion as his hand hovered when it had stopped near her shoulder. "Do you require a medic? Should I get Kix or Sergeant Coric?"

A shake of her head.

He frowned, the sobbing teenager before him well and truly out of his league. "The General, then?"

Another shake, this one more vehement, accompanied by more tears and a shudder.

Watching her, Chopper's thoughts raced. What the _kriff _was he supposed to do with a crying female? Especially _this _crying- "What about Captain Rex?"

Ahsoka's reaction was almost instant. "No!" she surged upward and forward, as if to gain her feet, only to be tangled in her covers. "You can't… you can't get him," her movements were almost frantic as she struggled to be free of her bindings, the desperation in her tone unmistakable, misery shining from her eyes. "Chopper, don't - he wouldn't..." her breath hitched and he was taken aback by her vehement assertion. "He… he wouldn't come anyway. He-"

She seemed to collapse in on herself, folding over like a brother who'd been shot through the spine. She quaked violently, rocking back and forth, her tears ones he could recognize. She'd been hurt deeply and, as he watched her, going over her assertion that the Captain - who had nothing but the utmost respect and regard for her - wouldn't come, that she didn't want him there, Chopper did what he'd once seen Kix do to a sobbing civilian.

Awkwardly, slowly, he placed his arms around her.

Ahsoka seemed to fall into him, curling close, and it felt as if the violent sobs would tear her apart in his arms. Chopper tightened his grip, holding her, not knowing what else to do but let her cry. That seemed, thankfully, to be all that she needed.

Shortly thereafter, in what felt like an eternity, her sobbing dwindled and ebbed, finally slipping to nothing. As it did, she slackened against him, going limp.

Looking down, past the curve of her montral against his chest, he tilted his head to find her eyes closed and her breathing even. The evidence of her crying jag was plain against her cheeks. She was asleep. Never having held a sleeping woman, let alone his Commander, Chopper glanced around, seeking some solution as to what happened next.

The only one that presented itself was to ease her back to her sleeping pallet and pull her covers up. She curled away from him as she rolled to the mat, her breathing remaining even, her expression one of sadness even in slumber. Even as he watched, she stretched out one hand, as if reaching for something, and the faintest, softest call of his Captain's name, in a tone one of despairing agony, slipped from her sleeping lips.

_He wouldn't come anyway._

Something had happened between his commanding officers, something he'd noticed in the sudden distance between them, but decided wasn't his business - until now. Later, when she was awake and more aware, he'd speak with her about it.

Chopper collected his bucket and rose silently to his feet, slapping it back on and turning for the exit to her tent. He wasn't about to tell anyone about this little episode until he could speak with her first and maybe not even then.

Everyone, he felt, was entitled to their secrets. She'd offered him acceptance and respect since she'd joined General Skywalker and become their Commander. Now that he could repay the favor, he wasn't about to pass the opportunity up. If the Commander needed his shoulder to lean on for any reason, he would offer it as long as she needed.

* * *

**_The _****Resolute****_, Post Catalyst - Day Four - Evening_**

"Commander?"

Ahsoka lifted her head to meet the gaze of the scarred trooper standing before her. Her hands were firmly around the cup of caf she'd been nursing since Echo had dropped it by the table before going to join Fives.

There were few people in the mess hall, most men having gone to scrub the grime of the battlefield from themselves. Ahsoka suspected they would hit the sack shortly thereafter, taking the opportunity for an early night.

She herself could have gone for one, but even after the exhaustion and light duty the medics had insisted she follow - keeping her mercifully away from Anakin - she didn't think she'd be able to sleep. Everything was still to raw, too close to the surface. She needed to talk to someone and the only person who _knew _what she needed to talk about had turned his back on her.

Waking to the memory of having lost her composure, her control, shortly after the nightmare about Quill to Chopper's presence, had left her on edge all day. She'd have given anything to have woken to Rex's presence instead of Chopper's - even as at odds as they were. The small comfort she'd found in Chopper's arms was nothing compared to having Rex hold her, _protect _her, while she slept. She well remembered it - and wished she didn't.

To have woken alone later, shaking and choking in the aftermath of another shorter, but no less intense, nightmare, had only made it worse. A rough night no doubt brought on by the hell of the day before.

They'd arrived in system just as the Separatists had been landing earlier than expected. While the fighting had been fierce, the cowards had tucked tail and run after just one bloody day. The GAR's forces had caught the Separatists by surprise.

Casualties were, Kix had told her, mercifully light. There would be empty bunks in the barracks tonight but not as many as there could have been.

In the span of a week and a half, Ahsoka had participated in a covert, black listed mission, and learned more about herself than she'd ever wished to know. She'd seduced her best friend and Captain, obliterating his regard for her and, in doing so, caused a tension she could see among the company even from within the semi-numbness of her brokenhearted grief.

Partaking in repelling a planetary invasion after what she'd been through with Rex… Despite the fact she'd been injured, it had felt less than urgent. Distracting, in fact, and she couldn't bring herself to feel ashamed or guilty for feeling that way.

"Chopper," she jerked her chin at the chair across from her, looking a little uncertain. "Join me?"

Her request was granted, Chopper joining her with a nod.

Twisting the mug in her hand, Ahsoka regarded the contents, tracing one finger around the lip. She took a sip, using the beverage as a way to swallow the way she was feeling before lifting her gaze to the vicinity of Chopper's. "About this morning... I-"

"Don't need to explain, sir."

Her gaze shot up to Chopper's, grateful but nervous all at the same time. "Really?"

"Commanders, as a rule, don't explain to Troopers."

"No," she agreed, "they don't."

"Then you don't have to explain, sir."

"Commanders don't normally wake screaming from nightmares with you in the room either."

"Whatever it was, sir, we all have demons. We've all been there."

Probably the most Chopper had even spoken to her - to anyone - since his arrival. Ahsoka ducked her head. "If it were only that."

"Sir-" he stopped and glanced around, lowering his voice. "May I speak freely?"

"I'd rather you did." Then maybe they could get this over with.

He paused at her unconventional response, considering her for a moment, before speaking, visibly selecting his words with care. "The Captain's disregard for you is inexcusable. If he'd been at your side as he ought to have been, you wouldn't have been injured. I'd like to request reassignment to your unit," Chopper paused, as if to let her deny him the assignment, "sir."

"A reassignment." Not what she was expecting.

"Until such a time as the Captain gets his head out of his ass and back on straight." A pause was followed by a very soft, very emphatic, "Sir!"

"Until he-" Ahsoka stared at the scarred clone, taken aback by Chopper's fierce desire to protect her. If she was reading him right, he was focusing on Rex's visible transgressions. There was something in his gaze, though, which told her he meant every word in every context she might construe and also in the context of what had occurred the previous night. "I don't have a set unit, Chopper. You know that."

"Yes, sir, I do. You normally land with the Captain." Ahsoka flinched but Chopper was undeterred. "I'd like to have the honor of being the one to watch your flank until he resumes that position."

_If he resumes that position._

It was almost crippling to think that Rex would never watch her back - and she his - again.

Lifting her cup and intending to take a bracing sip of the lukewarm brew, she was quick to put it back on the table when it noticeably shook. Her champions seemed to be piling up. First Coric. Then Echo and Kix and now Chopper. Who would be next? Fives? The image of Fives coming to offer to beat Rex up was frighteningly easy to picture and she wasn't sure if laughter - of the slightly hysterical kind - or tears were a more appropriate response.

Chopper watched her in silence, waiting for her response, but made no further comment. He'd obviously said his piece and now it was her turn.

Removing her hands from the cup, Ahsoka tucked them into her lap and out of view beneath the table. "You want to watch my flank."

"Yes, sir."

"On every deployment."

"Yes, sir."

"Even through Anakin's crazy plans."

"The General's plans work, sir. No matter how crazy they seem at the briefings."

She couldn't refute that and was experienced enough on the combat field to know the value of having a friend watch your back. Dropping with a group of rookies wasn't something she normally did and this last drop had been frightening in ways she'd not before experienced. It hadn't taken long to see why. Once she'd been assigned as Anakin's Padawan, Rex had been at her side through every one of her dropship maneuvers involving Torrent Company, starting with Teth. Taking a deep breath, she nodded once. "Okay, Chopper. When we next deploy, you deploy with me."

"Thank you, sir."

Exhaling, knowing she needed to get back to her quarters before another emotional meltdown, or worse, before Anakin caught up with her, Ahsoka rose to her feet. "I'll let Coric know of your new assignment to ensure you're entered properly on the roster."

Chopper rose to his feet with her and offered a salute. "Will that be all, Commander?"

"Dismissed."

He turned smartly to go and Ahsoka watched him leave before following him out. Coric would be glad to hear another clone was in her corner. Chopper's support, gruff through it was, was an unexpected boost even as it was a blatant reminder of just how far she and Rex had fallen apart in the four days since accomplishing their mission.

Four days.

Jedi didn't believe in wishing, but Ahsoka wished she could turn back the clock to that fateful night when she'd called Rex to her room… and not. Their friendship would still be intact, this battle would have been fought at his side and he'd still be speaking with her and seeking out her company.

Loneliness wasn't something she suffered from normally, but since arriving back on the _Resolute _it was a familiar companion. One she wasn't certain would leave her alone any time soon.


	10. Chapter 9

**Author's Note:** New material

* * *

**Chapter 9**

**_The _****Resolute****_, Post Catalyst - Day Five - Morning_**

Ahsoka's luck ran out the following morning. At breakfast, she was joined at her lonely table by Anakin, far earlier than he was ever known to rise. Her master was a bit of a Hutt-a-bed, something she'd been counting on. Something she should have known better than to count on. When Anakin Skywalker wanted something, he was relentless in its pursuit.

He wanted, apparently, to talk to her.

"There you are, Snips," he smiled, looking no worse for wear than normal and making her instantly resent it. He placed his tray across from hers and sipped his caf as he sat. "I hear you were injured yesterday."

"A scratch," she told him dismissively with false levity as her stomach sank like a stone. "Nothing a quick trip to Kix didn't fix."

"The report says it was a hip graze."

Ahsoka's eyes dropped to her plate and she forced herself to prepare a bite, buying herself a few seconds as she nodded.

"I thought you were beyond that kind of injury, especially with Rex watching your back."

Her fork froze halfway to her mouth and she had to mentally force herself to continue the move, chewing on the mouthful of what could have been sand before swallowing with difficulty. "He-" she took a sip of her caf when Anakin's eyebrows rose, "was otherwise occupied."

"Battlefields are like that," the agreement was easy and Ahsoka could practically _hear _what was coming next, "but you're too experienced to make that kind of mistake, Ahsoka. Ever since Ord Mantell you've been different. Quiet. Preoccupied. That kind of distraction can get you killed." He took a sip of his caf, mirroring her movements. "Care to fill me in on what happened?"

_Nu draar!_ Rex's emphatic denial in Mando'a sprang to mind before she could stop it, his fierce, protective expression overlaying Anakin's curiosity for a flicker of a heartbeat. Banishing the image with difficulty, her brain caught up to the question and filled in her own series of denials. _Not on your life! _If Anakin knew... if he discovered...She couldn't bear the thought of Rex being punished for _her _mistakes, especially when she'd practically thrown herself at him.

Swallowing hard, she took another bracing sip of her caf. "It was a black operation, Master. I can't talk about it."

"Don't give me that _osik_."

"Osik?" Her amusement was forced and feigned, but expected and would hopefully deflect his train of thought. "You've been hanging around with Fives too much. What would Master Obi-Wan say?"

* * *

There was something in the way that she said it which clued Anakin into the fact she was trying very hard to shift the focus. If he let her, she'd never come back to the topic and he was determined to get answers. "Don't change the subject, Snips. I read Rex's report."

"Learn anything interesting?"

Her caustic question said volumes about the fact that she'd read it too. "No more than I knew before - that you and Rex were missing for a week on a black listed mission doing Force knows what of a _personal _nature."

"You really shouldn't try and be subtle, Skyguy. It doesn't suit you."

"What happened on the mission, Ahsoka?"

"We accomplished the goal set out to us by Republic Intelligence," she wouldn't meet his gaze, but Anakin didn't miss the slight hitch in her words. "What more is there?"

"There's you being honest with me, Snips. Rex said you were forced to perform some rather _personal _duties."

"He-" she sucked in a sharp breath, visibly searching his expression. "What did he tell you?"

"Enough to give me nightmares." Rex might not have given him much of anything, but the possibilities were too numerous to count and each scenario Anakin considered was worse than the last. Trying to lighten the mood, Anakin cracked a smile. "Whatever happened, it can't be half as bad as what I'm imagining."

Ahsoka didn't laugh. She didn't assure him he was crazy or that she'd been able to handle it. She didn't smirk or so much as crack the barest of smiles as her gaze skittered away. "I suppose that depends on what you're imagining." He watched her throat work before she tilted her chin up stubbornly, her color paler than he'd ever seen before. His stomach sank to his boots. "You shouldn't be asking, Master."

"I'm asking." Carefully keeping his temper in check, Anakin's concern over what his Padawan had been subjected to by GAR Intelligence and the Council's orders rose to new heights. It wasn't like Ahsoka to be dodgy. "What did Rex mean when he said your duties were _personal_?"

"It was a classified mission."

"Then don't give me the details of why you were there, just what happened." His gaze narrowed on her. "It was supposed to be _our _mission to begin with. That you and Rex-" there was no mistaking her flinch this time, "-were given it by Obi-Wan when I was injured is irrelevant."

"You weren't just injured, you were comatose. We couldn't have asked you if we'd tried."

"Obi-Wan was within his rights to reassign the mission," Anakin told her firmly, still disliking it intensely. Something serious, something momentous, had happened on that mission. He knew it. Could _feel_ it. Neither participant seemed inclined to reveal it though. "I was expecting to get a mission report I could advise you on," _and make heads roll where necessary_, "and what I got was four lines of nonsense about a mission accomplished that Rex refuses to rewrite!" He came part way off his seat, hands planted firmly on the table, leaning towards her. "What happened on the mission, Ahsoka?"

"I…"

"Sir."

Anakin's head whipped around, uncaring that his expression was probably murderous. "Not now, Sergeant."

"My apologies for the interruption, sir," Coric glanced between him and Ahsoka and nodded sharply. "The Commander's late for her check in."

"She can very well be late then!"

"Medic's orders, sir," Coric looked apologetic, but sounded anything but. "The wound on her hip couldn't be treated with bacta in the field and she failed to report as ordered last night."

"Later, Coric."

"I'm sorry, sir," Coric made a motion to Ahsoka, which practically jerked her to her feet and sent her scurrying around the table. "Whatever discussion you need to have with the Commander, her health has to come first."

Frustrated, Anakin watched Coric lead his Padawan away, a sharp look from the medic stopping him from following. Ahsoka's health had to come first, yes, but Anakin was now dead certain something had happened to Ahsoka on that mission. Until he knew what it was, he couldn't raise all hell with the Council and GAR Intelligence and make damn sure it never happened again.

* * *

"Commander?" Coric's tone was concerned and cautious as he led the way towards the medical bay. "Are you alright, sir?"

She hadn't been alright since Master Kenobi had given her the mission with Rex. Wrapping her arms around her waist for a moment, she let them drop just as quickly before swallowing hard with a single shake of her head. "Thanks for the save, Coric."

"Save, sir?"

Looking up at him sharply, she was relieved to see he didn't appear to be serious. "Yes save, Sergeant. I didn't know _how _I was going to escape Skyguy."

Coric glanced back at her only to reach out and place a hand on her shoulder. It was a surprisingly _Rex_ thing to do and stopped her in her tracks. Images bombarded her of the same hand, but not the same hand, doing the same and she unconsciously reached to the wall for support.

It forced Coric to stop too, his hand dropping awkwardly, and Ahsoka wondered, as she came back to the moment, what he'd seen in her face. "My apologies, sir."

"No need," she offered weakly, looking away, a chill sweeping through here where warmth had once been. Rex wouldn't touch her again. He didn't respect her anymore. He didn't _want _to touch her. She closed her eyes for a moment against the sharp surge of despair and forced it back, swallowing it down like the bitter pill it was.

Opening her eyes to look back at the medic, Ahsoka glanced left and right in confusion before needing to ask. "What were we doing?"

"I'm taking you to the medbay for a follow up on your injury."

"Really?" She blinked. Coric had been serious? "I thought that was just an excuse to get me away from Anakin."

"Unlike some clones, Commander, I can manage more than one task." Coric motioned her into the lift as it came to a stop and the doors slid open. "Your choice of attire seems fitting."

"Hm?" Ahsoka glanced down at her choice of wardrobe, knowing what Coric would see.

Predominantly burgundy, the tunic caught close at the neck, adorned with a diamond shaped choker, open in a small rounded triangle just below her collar bone and above her breasts, only to close securely as it fitted down across her torso to her hips and hanging to mid-thigh.

The belt crossed her hips held her lightsabers, dual hilts hanging from their locks, and the long strap of mauve fabric that hung at the center of the belt was the only visible piece of her old outfit. Below, she'd chosen charcoal leggings with a half dozen diamonds running down the outside of each leg. They disappeared into a sensible pair of boots, to which were attached reinforced shin and knee guards, the same color as her tunic.

In addition, each forearm was covered in bracers of the same hard material, buckles lacing them tight to her arms. Combat gloves for grip tipped each one and four bicep covers, equally spaced, adorned her upper arms, giving the appearance of forming diamonds between them.

Both practical and decorative, she'd chosen the color and designs to break up the patterns of her skin and, like the markings on her face, served as obvious camouflage. The hard materials on her forearms, shins and knees were a nod to the armor plating the clones wore. It was a little something to offer _her_ better protection, especially now that Rex would no longer be watching her back.

That it looked _nothing _like her old tank top and skirt, which had practically been destroyed in the last battle anyway, was something she'd done deliberately. She was no longer a youngling, no longer a _child_ and her clothing, she'd decided, needed to reflect that.

If nothing else, it might get Rex to look at her or even, slim though the chance was, to talk with her. Pathetic as it might be, Ahsoka was almost desperate to speak with him and apologize but he wouldn't give her the opportunity. He already thought so little of her, much as that hurt, that she was pretty sure his opinion could go any lower. The new outfit was more for her, despite its potential as being perceived as a pathetic attempt to draw Rex's attention, as she felt safer within in.

Not physically, but it was a needed boost to the mental armor she hadn't yet been able to solidify. Part of her was still reeling from Rex's abandonment and it was a much needed confidence boost.

"It looks good, Commander," Coric's voice drew her back to the present as the lift arrived on their floor - she didn't remember getting in - and he fell into step beside her as they headed for the medbay. "Far more practical for the battlefield than what you were wearing before."

"It is, isn't it?" She forced a smile for him. "This last battle got me thinking and I realized being the only one on the field without armor was pretty stupid. It was time for a change anyway."

The silence that dropped between them was knowing and Ahsoka sighed, her smile disappearing as they stepped into the medbay. Fortunately, it was still early enough that no one was around and, without a word, Ahsoka hopped onto the table Coric indicated and let him get to work.

* * *

Unexpectedly thwarted in his quest to speak with Ahsoka, Anakin went looking for Rex. Each location he checked left him feeling more and more agitated. Ahsoka had been evasive, guarded and nothing like herself. If Coric hadn't come and stolen her away with his perfectly logical and medical reason, a reason Anakin couldn't fight, he suspected that Ahsoka would have simply found another excuse to withdraw.

_Is it that awful to talk to me? I'm supposed to be her Master, doesn't that mean they need to tell me this stuff?_

Unable to find Rex in the barracks or his office, and unwilling to check the showers, Anakin headed for his own quarters. Without preamble, he settled himself at the comm. and keyed in Obi-Wan's frequency. It took several minutes before he received a signal fraught with static but secure.

_"Anakin! This is a surprise." _Obi-Wan looked exhausted even through the grainy image. _"I trust you're no worse for wear after your latest stay in the bacta tank?" _

"No, Master," he came back with a grin, "no lingering effects."

_"Did the offensive go well?"_

"Surprisingly. We caught them off guard, but not by much."

_"Excellent!"_ A pause. _"I trust Ahsoka made it through the encounter with her usual flair?"_

Why would Obi-Wan ask after Ahsoka immediately? It made his suspicious and, with his usual tact, he dove straight in. "Actually, Ahsoka's why I'm calling."

_"She's not injured, is she?"_

"She took a blaster hit to one hip," Anakin frowned. "What was the mission you sent her and Rex on, Obi-Wan?"

Obi-Wan's eyebrows rose. _"Which mission?" _

"You know what I'm talking about, Master." Obi-Wan looked about to deny it, so Anakin spat it out succinctly. "Ord-."

_"I know where they were sent."_

As Anakin expected, Obi-Wan hadn't wanted him to say it. "And you were the Jedi in control the whole time so you have to have an idea as to what it was."

_"Not as much as you'd think."_

"Don't feed me that _osik_, Obi-Wan. You would have had to debrief them with me in the medbay. I've tried asking them, but Ahsoka won't tell me what happened and Rex refuses to even _mention_ the slightest of details, even on threat of court martial."

Obi-Wan rubbed his jaw, looking dark for a moment, as if something within Anakin's words had triggered a dark memory or something similar. It was an odd gesture and not Obi-Wan's normal thoughtful brush of the chin.

"Something the matter with your chin, Obi-Wan?"

_"Hm? Oh. No. An old bruise, nothing more." _

"Did Cody finally have enough of your pain in the ass advice and deck you one?" To Anakin's surprise, his attempt at levity didn't draw so much as a smile from his old mentor.

_"Hardly."_ Obi-Wan seemed to come back to himself. _"An unfortunate misunderstanding, I'm afraid." _

The possibility that someone had managed to strike Obi-Wan was dutifully ignored. Anakin didn't really care at that moment what had happened to Obi-Wan's person with the highly elevated concern for his Padawan foremost in his mind. "What were they doing on the mission, Obi-Wan?"

_"It was a highly sensitive mission, Anakin, and this line may not be secure."_

"Don't give me that," Anakin snapped back, "Neither Rex nor Ahsoka will tell me and, as far as I can tell, they're not talking to one another either!"

_"Not speaking?" _To Obi-Wan's credit, he appeared disturbed by that fact even though his expression cleared after a moment. "_Now that is concerning but not at all unexpected after what I am sure they were forced to endure."_

If he could have, Anakin would have reached through the screen to strangle his friend. "And what were they forced to endure, Obi-Wan?"

_"Nothing I can reveal, I'm afraid, Anakin. They did accomplish the mission with consummate skill, though. You should be very proud of them both."_

"And I would be if I knew what they'd done!" Anakin snapped, his agitation increasing when Obi-Wan wouldn't give him a straight answer or look him in the eye. "Ahsoka is _my _Padwan, Obi-Wan, I have a right to know what happened."

_"Then I'm sure she'll tell you in her own time, Anakin,"_ Obi-Wan's assurance was hollow. _"For the time being, I hear you're being sent back to Coruscant."_

"I got our orders this morning. Don't change the subject. I want to know-"

_"My apologies, Anakin, I must-"_

The comm. connection flickered and died.

"Obi-Wan?" Anakin hit the controls, trying to save the connection and then slammed his fist on the desktop when it was obvious there was nothing he could do. "Dammit!"

_What happened on that mission? _No one would tell him anything and Rex refused to write his Force-forsaken report even as Ahsoka was, unquestionably, avoiding him. Coric had saved her today, but even if the Clone medic hadn't come, he suspected she wouldn't have told him anything His hand clenched and, despite his elation at going home to Coruscant and Padmé, a long overdue reunion, his trepidation remained. He turned, staring out the window to the starlines beyond of the ship in hyperspace.

He'd seen enough abuse in his lifetime, Force help anyone who thought to use his Padawan in any similar fashion._ If the Council sent Ahoska in to be anything but an observer, the Force help me, I won't be responsible for my actions!_


	11. Chapter 10

**Author's Note:** New material

* * *

**Chapter 10**

**_The _****Resolute****_, Post Catalyst - Day Five - Midnight_**

"_Echo."_

There was no response from the bunk to the left of his as Fives rolled, turning his head towards the shrouded form of his last remaining squad mate and closest brother. Echo's breathing was deep and even - but that didn't mean anything. Their time training as ARC troopers had taught them to expertly mask their state of consciousness.

Echo had always been better at it than Fives.

But it wasn't Echo being better at controlling his breathing that was keeping him up. He'd seen some strange things in his short life as a clone, but one of the strangest, one of the ones nagging at him the most, was an inexplicable shift between his former commanding officers.

Now that their infiltration mission was over and they were headed back to Coruscant, the strange behavior of Rex and Ahsoka not only towards one another, but towards everyone else in Torrent Company, had caused major ripples. Ripples that, five days on from their return, were turning into small waves.

"_Echo."_

His brother still didn't answer. Fives rolled to his back, staring at the dark ceiling. Rex and Ahsoka had been a team before he and Echo had become a part of Torrent Company. They'd been the backbone of the unit, a pair united against - and sometimes with - Skywalker and his crazy plans. As well matched a pair as himself and Echo, Rex and Ahsoka complimented one another so perfectly, Fives found their sudden disconnect disconcerting.

If he hadn't been around to witness the tension between them, he'd have called anyone telling him of it a liar. He tucked his hands behind his head, frowning, as he considered what could have _possibly_-

"Didn't Cutup used to say your face would freeze like that if you didn't lighten up, Fives?"

"He was talking to Heavy," Fives turned his head, seeing that Echo still didn't look like he was awake, his posture completely unchanged. "You just gonna lie there?"

"It's past lights out."

"We're well beyond being cadets, Echo," Fives told him dryly, rolling up onto his elbow to look at his brother. "ARCs have _some_ special privileges you know."

"Staying up past lights out when not defined by mission parameters," Echo informed him succinctly, "still isn't one of them."

"Stickler," ignoring the look he could feel Echo shooting his way, he sat up and dropped his legs over the side of his bunk. "If we were constrained by the same rules as the rest of the Troopers, they wouldn't have put us in officer's quarters."

There was a moment and then Echo's sigh was clearly audible, though he made no move to change his posture that Fives could see. "What's bothering you, Fives?"

"The Captain and Commander."

Silence was his answer from the other bunk.

"Come on Echo, you notice everything." Still nothing. "Don't tell me you haven't seen the sudden about face in their behavior. I won't believe it. We saw them a month ago and they were as close as ever, but now?"

"Whatever happened between them, is between _them_, Fives. Leave it alone."

Blinking, Fives couldn't have been more surprised by the firm instruction if it had come accompanied by a flash-bang. "What?"

"Leave it alone. Rex and Ahsoka have to work it out themselves."

"You know what happened."

Again, silence was his answer.

"I _knew _it!"

Fives leapt to his feet, propelling himself into Echo's bunk and rolling into the wall as he was thrown off the other side. Undeterred, he grabbed the blankets cocooning Echo and pulled, dragging him to the floor. The blanket unraveled, spilling Echo onto the cool deck surface with a hiss. Scuffling, they rolled around as Fives demanded answers.

"What did you see? What did you _hear_ and why the _fek _didn't you tell me?"

Echo deflected Fives' physical attack with arm and leg before gaining his feet, Fives close on his heels. Fives threw up an arm with a cry as the lights suddenly flashed on and was toppled back to his bunk by a well-timed push.

"Warn a brother next time!"

"And give you the chance to shut your eyes?" Echo sounded not quite amused. "No way."

His eyes adjusting, Fives blinked away the spots to find Echo with one hand still on the lighting control panel, dressed in nothing more than his sleep shorts, his expression one of faraway contemplation. By the expression, it was contemplation he didn't relish. "Echo?"

"You wanted to know what I know about the Captain and Commander, right?"

"I shouldn't have to ask, but yeah."

"I don't _know _what happened between them, Fives." Echo gave a frustrated shake of his head, his fingers tightening on the wall around the switch. "I didn't feel it right to ask when the Commander was so vulnerable."

"You might not know, Echo, but you suspect something." Fives smiled faintly when his brother's gaze snapped to his. "I can read you like one of those tech manuals you like so much. Something about this is bothering you a lot more than me."

"There is," the agreement was almost too soft for Fives to hear, "but I can't tell you what."

"The hell you can't! We share everything."

"If I'm wrong, Fives, this is something that could destroy your... _our _image of them."

He didn't like the sound of that. "And if you're right?"

"If I'm right, they need to work this out without outside interference." Echo smiled faintly. "I'm surprised you noticed the distance between them."

"It was kind of hard to miss when the Captain walked away after saying something to make the Commander cry."

"He did _what_?"

"The day after they got back, it was right after our first briefing post Skywalker's bacta dip." Fives frowned. "I told you about that." And yet the more he considered it, the less certain he was. It _could _have slipped his mind, it wasn't unheard of, but the context of it didn't feel right that it would have. "I'm sure I did."

Echo sighed. "Go back to bed, Fives. We can't help them."

"Torrent Company's already feeling the strain between them, Echo, we need to do something."

"Like what?"

"If it's going to tear the company apart and have the men taking sides, then we should do something." Pushing back to his feet, Fives began to pace. "Maybe lock them in a closet until they talk about whatever happened or put them on the sparring mat until they work out their issues?"

"Or stage a dangerous situation where they have to work together?"

"Yes!"

"You're a _di'kut_." Echo shook his head. "This isn't a holo drama, these are our former commanding officers and friends."

"And they're best friends who shouldn't be fighting like this."

"We don't know what caused it."

"We could ask them."

"Rex would never tell you."

"No," Fives agreed, "but he might tell _you_."

"Ahsoka's already asked me not to interfere, Fives. She needs our support more than she needs us meddling to try and fix whatever the break is."

"Support from or for what, though?"

"That's between them."

Coming to stand before his brother, a practical mirror image minus the odd tattoo and scar, Fives regarded Echo with an identical serious expression. "What do you think happened, Echo? If I knew, maybe we could help."

Echo shook his head.

"It might be between them, but you're awfully supportive of the Commander and not the Captain."

"Rex might be hurting, Fives, but it's what he's done that's hurting her."

He didn't follow. "What do you mean?"

Echo paused for a moment, his words deliberate. "Whatever happened caused Rex to push her away."

"I saw that."

"Not just away, Fives, but _away_. He doesn't look at her, doesn't smile. He didn't go see her when she was injured and he doesn't speak with her. Rex is the one who cut off their communication. He's _chosen _to push her away."

"That doesn't sound like Rex."

"I agree."

"But it doesn't sound like Ahsoka to give up either."

"You said it yourself, he made her cry." Shaking his head, Echo straightened a fraction. "I don't understand why she didn't just deck him on the spot."

"Maybe she didn't want to damage that pretty face?" The brothers shared a faint smile. "It wouldn't have helped, would it?"

"I doubt it," the reluctance in Echo's voice was disheartening. "It might have made things worse."

"You sure about that?" Thinking on it, Fives wondered if he'd only been imagining that Rex had looked like he'd _expected _some kind of retaliation that hadn't come.

"Positive."

The silence fell between them once more and Fives made a face, turning away and moving back to sit on his bunk. Gripping the edge with a feeling of helplessness he'd never before encountered, Fives flexed his fingers. He didn't like this one bit. "So… there's really nothing we can do."

"Not a thing," Echo finally moved from the wall, plunging the room back into darkness and padding on bare feet back to his bunk. "All we can do is wait and watch and hope that this separation when they get back to Coruscant does them both some good."

"And if it doesn't?"

"It won't matter."

"What?" Fives' head snapped up, incredulous eyes trying to penetrate the blackness to see Echo's expression. "These are our friends, Echo, how can you say that?."

"It won't matter because we don't belong to Torrent company anymore, Fives. We're ARC troopers. We won't be around to see it."


	12. Chapter 11

**Author's Note:** New material

* * *

**Chapter 11**

**_Space Transport to Raxus, Post _****Catalyst ****_- Day Seven._**

Ahsoka hugged herself as she stood by the viewport in the quarters she was sharing with Padmé's Amidala, listening with only partial attention to Padmé rant about warmongering among the Senators. With her own thoughts turned inwards and the Senator seeming to be working to a full head of steam about friends being separated by political ideals, it was safe enough. Padmé was driven, extolling the dangers of prolonging the war.

More troops.

More battles.

More victories.

More chances for the men under her command to die and be forgotten. Much like Rex seemed to have done with her. No longer was he her confidant and friend. He'd become a distant stranger, a man who refused to speak with her beyond the confines of their professional roles and, even then, treated her with a kind of formal respect he reserved for… for she didn't know who. Senators, maybe?

All because she'd done something so incredibly stupid and seduced him. Or rather, he'd seduced her. At the time it hadn't mattered because she'd thought it was mutual. Now, she wasn't sure. The night was still such a blur of passionate need and want and memory a week later, Ahsoka couldn't rightly remember who had started what.

What she could remember was enough to shame her. Calling him to her room. Begging for his touch and his kiss. Begging for him to take her like the harlot she'd been pretending to be on Ord Mantell barely hours before.

_He must be so disgusted to have seen me stoop so fully to their level, _tightness behind her eyes accompanied the thought and Ahsoka deliberately turned her attention _away_ from it. Thinking about Rex, more importantly what had happened between them, was a sure fire way to ruin her hard won composure. Not that she could _not _think about it since the shock and numbness of his rejection had ebbed to leave her wracking her brain for why Rex had abandoned her so completely.

As it was, she was only there because Kix, Coric, Chopper and Echo had ganged up on her, using logic when she felt her most illogical, put her dirt side with her Master on Coruscant. Somehow, though, she didn't think this was what they'd had in mind when they'd reminded her that she was a Jedi and obligated to serve the Senate, just as the GAR did.

So she'd gone to the Senate meeting, listened, been disinterested until Anakin and Padmé had started to argue on opposing sides of the cloning and war issue. Siding with Padmé had been dangerous, but Ahsoka couldn't bring herself to spend much time with her Master. Each time she did, he asked about the mission. Each time she saw him, spoke with him, he asked about the tension between her and Rex.

It wasn't reassuring that her Master had noted it and was concerned because of it. Much as she appreciated his empathy, she was still too heart bruised, heart _broken_, to talk about it to anyone.

Kix and Coric only knew, or thought they knew, what had happened because they'd seen the bruises on her. Chopper had discovered it by accident, finding her that one night at her weakest and Echo… well Echo saw _everything_. She'd been less than surprised when he'd come to find her and ask if there was anything he could do to help. It was a little more than overwhelming when he'd offered to be her go between with Rex.

She'd turned him down, but was touched.

The quartet had been in her corner ever since Rex had turned his back on her. Supporting her when he was at his harshest, mitigating the damage the sudden change between Captain and Commander was causing as their interpersonal tension echoed into the ranks.

They'd taken to being her shield, a position Rex had once held, against the men speaking about her or the shinies from being inappropriate. Gossip was inevitable in a male army full of clones, as was the expectation that _all_ would adhere to regulation, but as a quartet they had a lot of influence. Coric was a Sergeant, but that wasn't why the men listened to him.

No one, she'd long since learned, wanted to be on the bad side of a medic.

Alone, but not, Ahsoka glanced at Padmé as the Senator was shaking her head, packing the last of the clothes the overnight flight had taken. Suddenly, she needed to engage the other woman if for no other reason than to avoid her thoughts. Thoughts that would, inevitably, turn back to the man who'd unerringly become the center of her world on the Ord Mantell mission. A world that no longer made sense after she'd been so irresponsible.

"Who are we supposed to meet on Raxus again?"

"Mina Bonteri," Padmé answered without missing a beat. "She's an old friend of my family."

"And you really think talking with her can help put an end to the war?"

"Well, it certainly can't hurt," countered the politician, "even if it doesn't go through to their Senate, but I think it will, at least we can say we tried. If we can bring them back to the bargaining table, to negotiation, maybe we can end the senseless deaths in the army and the Jedi won't need to be at the head of it anymore."

"Won't…" Ahsoka's brow furrowed. "If the war does end, there will still need to be Commanders and Generals, Padmé. The army just won't disappear because we're in peace talks or because a treaty has been signed."

"No, but it would mean that clones could be promoted or other officers trained to fill those positions. Jedi could go back to being peace keepers."

Shaking her head, Ahsoka leaned her shoulder against the wall, grateful for the distraction. "Can that really happen, Padmé? Jedi have been a part of the army for so long, they might not want to step away."

"Like you and the men of Torrent Company?"

Somehow, Ahsoka managed to nod and find a smile, though it felt brittle on her lips. "Right."

"I think it to be the correct political move for the Jedi to remove themselves from the army."

"But?"

"Morally, Jedi are more suited to lead the army than regular men, even ones as superior as clones. They've a clear set of rules to follow, ones that can't be bent or broken, which are stricter than the regulations the rest of the enlisted men have. That code makes you all ideal to being their commanders."

"Even though it holds us back and sometimes prevents us from doing what's necessary to achieve victory?"

"Even then." Padmé smiled faintly. "You've been spending too much time with Anakin. You're starting to sound like him."

"Skyguy _is _my Master."

They shared a look and then a laugh, Ahsoka's only slightly forced.

"He is at that. You're good for him, Ahsoka."

Blinking at the unexpected compliment, she was taken aback. "Good for him?" She knew Anakin and Padmé were friends, but that seemed a _little_ too familiar. "What do you mean?"

Padmé closed the clasps on her case just as the general call echoed through the ship. Ahsoka caught that the landing struts had been deployed and they were on final approach. Passengers were to take their seats for landing. Together, they found the seats in their small cabin, Ahsoka shrugging into a poncho before she snapped the crash webbing together.

"Padmé?"

"Hm?"

"What do you mean, I'm good for him?"

"Exactly what it sounds like," Padmé seemed amused. "You've tempered him quite a bit, or hadn't you noticed?"

"Tempered?" Ahsoka chuckled. "You haven't seen him with the troops."

"He's calmer, Ahsoka," the correction was accompanied with a shake of Padmé's head, "more…"

"Reckless?"

"Responsible."

"_Anakin_?" she couldn't help the incredulity of her tone. Responsible was _not _an adjective she'd ever heard _anyone _use in conjunction with her master. "We _are _talking about the same man here, right?"

Padmé chuckled. "You make him think about his actions, Ahsoka. That's not a bad thing. He's… very young to be a Jedi Knight, you know."

She knew. Master Plo had commented on it along with the fact that Anakin was uniquely suited to her own talents and temperament. Perhaps there was something in what Padmé was saying, but that Padmé _knew_ Anakin well enough to say it was a little surprising. To say nothing of the almost wistful way Padmé had spoken the last sentence. "I know. I only hope I can follow his path."

Unexpectedly, Padmé looked away, towards the door, a faint smile curving her lips. "It's not an easy path to follow, Ahsoka," Padmé's gaze came back to hers as the ship settled to the ground with a faint _kachunk_, "but if anyone can, it's you."

Sharing that look, Ahsoka got the distinct impression that Padmé wasn't talking about the Jedi.

* * *

Landing on Raxus was about everything Ahsoka expected it to be. Hot. Windy. Militant but efficient but slightly disorganized. The encounter with Mina Bonteri and her aid, on the other hand, was bewildering and knocked Ahsoka's firmly held vision of the Separatists off kilter.

Clankers were Separatists. Evil and destructive. Soulless _things_ built to kill and maim life, specifically men like hers. Men like Fives and Echo and Chopper so other men, medics like Kix and Coric, needed to patch them up - if they were lucky.

Suave, sophisticated and _beautiful_, the regal woman who met them was warm and welcoming, contrary to everything Ahsoka believed the enemy to be.

Rightly so, that belief was challenged and Ahsoka forced to reconsider her stance. If Mina Bonteri was a soulless killer, she'd eat her Padawan braid. Suddenly, as they entered the transport that would take them to the Senator's estate, Ahsoka found herself wondering how many more of the Separatists were like Padmé's friend. It was a question she'd never asked, one she'd never considered before and would probably never have considered without this encounter.

Casting the Senators covert glances, Ahsoka watched as Mina and Padmé spoke little of things serious and more of their personal lives. Catching up after such a long absence, the two women held hands, their heads close together, excluding her from the conversation.

Ahsoka didn't mind.

Better to be excluded then drawn into something she had no business being in for starters. She respected Padmé's need to speak with her friend. They hadn't seen one another for a long time and if she'd ever been separated from Rex like-

She looked away, feeling the burn of tears behind her eyes which accompanied the thought. For all she was physically close to Rex on a daily basis, she _was _separated from him like that right now. There might as well have been a galaxy between them for all the attention he paid her.

Professionally proper, he treated shinies he'd known for hours better than the young woman who'd been watching his back for years. One mistake, admittedly a big one, and he'd turned his back on her.

_Why, Rex? What did I do that made it so bad for you?_

Closing her eyes, she was unwittingly propelled back, beyond the confusion of this last week, to the night where everything had changed between them. To the heated, hungry look in his eyes. The feral and possessive way in which he'd held her, _bitten _her. His dominion over her had been complete for all she'd been a willing and eager participant.

Was that it? Was the fact she'd _wanted _him, not fought him, the problem? Or maybe after his exposure to the professional dancers like Zidel and Ishka at the _Catalyst_, he'd found her fumbling inexperience off putting. Not that it had stopped either of them. He _had _wanted her - hadn't he?

_If only he'd talk to me. Rex… why won't you talk to me?_

A hand landed on her shoulder and she jerked out of her thoughts, her eyes flying open as she spun -

"Ahsoka!"

- and stopped short of striking Padmé as she jumped back. Ahsoka flushed, dropping her arm immediately. "Senator! I'm sorry, I-"

"It's my fault," Padmé cut in with a faint smile, "I should know better than to sneak up on a Jedi so deeply in meditation."

Meditation. Right. Ahsoka was agitated enough not to question _why _she should know better. "I am _really _sorry, I didn't mean-"

"It's _okay_, Ahsoka. Really." There was a finality to Padmé's tone that didn't leave the situation open to further discussion. "We're here."

Ahsoka blinked and glanced back out the viewport, noting with some trepidation that they had indeed landed. Their hostess was already out of the transport and speaking with another woman on the platform. Standing, she didn't look Padmé's way, feeling the curious and concerned look and unable to help the flush that stains her skin and the chevrons on her lekku. Padmé couldn't _know _what Ahsoka had been thinking about, no one except maybe Rex-

Exhaling, Ahsoka turned her attention to collecting her bag and tried instead to focus on the fact that everything she'd just learned about Separatists had been turned on its head. She couldn't wait to see Rex's face when-

She whimpered softly, rubbing her forehead with one hand even as she clenched the other around the handle of her case. The reflex to want to share everything with Rex hadn't diminished with his treatment of her. If anything, it only made her long for it more. But there would be no telling _him _of this little side trip. No talking through what she'd learned or getting his insightful opinion on it.

If she tried to talk to him, he'd likely just walk away - as he had been since sharing her bed.

With a flinch, Ahsoka stepped off the transport and into the sunlight, her hood thrown back, conscious of the fact Padmé had stopped at the base of the ramp and was glancing her way. Joining her, Ahsoka deliberately turned her attention to the home before her, idly wondering why she was surprised at all to find the Senator lived lavishly.

Senators, by trade it seemed, had to live lavishly.

It was a sweeping estate at first glance, with dual staircases around a center court, but what brought her up short was a grey clad figure perched on one stone rail. Ahsoka cocked her head as Mina's voice rang out.

"Lux! Come down here and greet our guests."

The suit uncoiled itself from its perch and Ahsoka was startled to realize that it was a teenage boy who looked to be about her age. This then, was likely Mina Bonteri's son. Padmé had mentioned him in passing, a detail that had drawn her to the mission in the first place. Spending time with another person her own age, especially a _boy_ she didn't know, had the potential to take her mind off Re- off _him_.

Petty perhaps, but Ahsoka could admit it to herself. She needed a distraction. Any distraction. Surrounded by clones was agonizing in ways that wore on her daily. Seeing _his _face, but not his face; _his _eyes, but not his eyes in every encounter, every conversation was a form of torture she'd never before experienced. Not being able to talk about it was, in some ways, worse.

She couldn't find her focus in the Force and Anakin had sensed her turmoil the last time she'd tried. Echo had offered to face her on the mat, but it wasn't _quite _the outlet she needed. It didn't help that Ahsoka didn't trust herself to not get caught up in the moment and suddenly see _his _face in one of his men's. She couldn't, for example, take the chance of pinning Echo to the mat, but seeing _Rex _beneath her, only to do something that would cost her Echo's friendship as well.

With no outlet and no one to talk things through with, it left her adrift.

If she confirmed what anyone thought knew about what had happened between them, Rex would be disciplined, likely court-martialed. Ahsoka wasn't sure what would happen to her beyond being sent back to Coruscant for reassignment and possibly permanent assignment to Master Jocasta Nu in the Jedi Archives.

_Not_ somewhere she wanted to be.

Still, it wasn't about _her_. Rex's life, his livelihood, hung in the balance and she wasn't about to jeopardize his existence because of her mistakes. _I should never have-_

Firmly turning her attention to the young host, Ahsoka regarded him critically as she cut off her train of thought. Lux approached, descending the steps with a decorum that surprised her, taking her from her thoughts. He'd jumped to obey his mother, but was exhibiting a poise most teenagers lacked. A Separatist youth trait or one that was unique to being Mina's son?

"Allow me."

Padmé surrendered her case to the youth but Ahsoka pulled hers away sharply when he reached for it. She didn't trust him to take her cloak, let alone her luggage, especially when her lightsaber was inside. "I've got it, thanks."

"An honored guest," he smiled winningly at her, "especially one so lovely, shouldn't carry their own case."

"This honored guest," Ahsoka bit off the sharp retort she had planned and forced herself to respond without any of the heat she wanted to, "lovely or not, _chooses_ to carry her own belongings."

"As she prefers." He flashed her more brilliant version of his smile, a touch of charming coercion within it. Lux continued to talk as they followed the two adults towards the house. "May I at least have the pleasure of your name, exotically beautiful lady?"

"Will you lay off the flattery if I give it to you?"

"I'll try," his eyes fairly sparkled, "but with such inspiration, I don't know that I'll succeed."

"Ahsoka Tano."

He arched his eyebrows.

"It's my name."

"Ahsoka." He spoke it, the syllables rolling off his tongue like he was testing a food for the first time. "Lyrical and unique, much like you."

Would he still think the same when he found out she was a Jedi? Padmé had cautioned her that the Bonteri family were not overly fond of Jedi, the same as many Separatists, and her order was seen as warmongers and war profiteers. It couldn't be further from the truth.

"If you say so," a name was a name, though being around the Clones had helped her realize that choosing one's name, or being christened with one, was far more meaningful thank simply being labeled at birth. _Earning _a name made you proud of it and she saw it every day in chopper and Coric, especially in men like Rex who'd-

She shied away from the thought.

Weary of her mental battle, she turned her attention back to her host and wasn't sure she had the strength to try and make the Bonteri boy, to make _Lux_, like her if he chose not to accept her calling. She'd deal with that if it came to it, for the moment, Ahsoka resolved to enjoy Lux's exuberance.

He bounded ahead to get the door for his mother and Padmé. As she neared, she found her voice.

"Lux, right?"

"That's right - Ahsoka."

She smiled at him, forcing herself to suppress the prejudices her time on the front lines had formed as he held the door for her. "Thank you."

"My pleasure. If you'll follow me, I'll show you to your room."

* * *

**_Raxus, Post _****Catalyst ****_- Day Eight - Evening_**

Lux had monopolized her time after seeing her to her quarters. He'd given her a tour of the estate without giving her a chance to freshen up, taking her through galleries and gardens that rivaled some of the residences on Coruscant. There was a library and a salon, whatever that was for, along with a main dining hall and two studies, one for both Mina and one for Lux.

After the whirlwind showcase, an awkward, but readily passed discussion about her having never met a Separatist before and a random discussion about preferred speeders, he deposited her back at her room and left her be, saying it was time to dress for dinner.

Dinner was an easy affair, with Mina and Padmé doing most of the speaking, which was fine by Ahsoka, thought Lux's demeanor had changed. He'd gone from the friendly, flirty individual who'd been proud to show her around his house, so a quiet, almost sullen, youth.

It wasn't helped when Padmé and Mina continued to talk politics only to have Ahsoka join them with disastrous results. She'd put her foot in her mouth and, when dismissed, had only been too glad to get away after a sincere and heartfelt apology.

She was already halfway down the steps when Lux's voice startled her.

"You're a Jedi, aren't you?"

Ahsoka wasn't sure what she was expecting after blundering unforgivably regarding Mina's husband, but his unconventional greeting wasn't it. Turning, she faced him only to find he was seated on a railing again, his back to one of the planter decoration, on a balcony further up the stairs to an upper terrace.

Not sure what to make of that question, she crossed her arms over her chest, considering him. It was only as his gaze dropped to her hips that she realized why he'd asked it. _I should have left them in my room. _Still, she wasn't about to pretend to be something she wasn't, or deny her profession. "I am. Is that going to be a problem?"

Lux didn't move off the rail, continuing to watch her. "That depends."

"On?"

"My friends say that Jedi are the reason this war will never end."

"Jedi are the ones trying to end this war, not prolong it. Have any of them ever _met _a Jedi?"

"No one personally," he cocked his head at her. "And you're my first. I've been told that Jedi are evil. Are you evil, Ahsoka?"

Ahsoka almost laughed. Stretching her arms out wide, she challenged him. "Do I _look_ evil to you?"

"No." He smiled, his gaze deliberately traveling from her toes to her face. "You look just about perfect."

Blinking, Ahsoka's arms slowly dropped as she felt the impact of having walked straight into the compliment. _Rex_ never- she axed the thought immediately, realizing that Lux's presence today had done what she'd hoped and she was anxious to continue feeling like less of a pariah. _Lux _wanted her company.

Deciding to engage him, she continued down the stairs, conscious of the fact he was probably looking her up and down as he had on the front. "Looks aren't everything you know," stopping at the base of the stairs, she cocked her head at him. "Jedi have been known to fall, even those who are good, really good, but those that fall are only a handful. Jedi are keepers of the peace, Knights of justice and harmony. We're only fighting because the Senate, which we serve, has mandated the army needs moral people leading the battles."

"Your Senate is determined to ensure all peoples are a part of it and that none are beyond its sphere of influence," jumping from the rail, Lux started down the stairs and Ahsoka backed up a step to treat him, with obvious care, to the same examination he'd given her. "The Galactic Senate used to be a place where individuals could be heard and make a difference."

"It's still that way, we wouldn't be here otherwise, Lux. Padmé... Senator Amidala believes there can and is a peaceful solution to this war. So does your mother. They are individuals making a difference."

"Only if it works."

"It will," Ahsoka was confident Padmé and her friend could bring about change if they were careful. "The Senator speaks so highly of your mother and, now having met her, I believe that by working together, they'll be able to accomplish their goal."

"Their goal?"

"All our goal." Cocking her head at him, she placed one hand on her hip. "Are you going to stand on that step and pose for this whole conversation or join me so we can move to the gazebo?"

"Don't you like it?"

"I like the suit. It's… different."

"Mother can be very strict in matters of protocol."

"And my Master can be very..." she stopped and smirked. "He can be very strict if he thinks I'm risking my neck unnecessarily."

"But not otherwise."

"It depends on the situation. He's a very..." she paused to think of the right word, "_unconventional_ Jedi."

"That must be where you get it from." Lux joined her on the ground and fell into step with her as they headed for the gazebo in the center of the garden.

"You've never met a Jedi before, how would you know if I'm unconventional?"

"You're here, aren't you?"

Stopping in her tracks, she stared after him as he ducked into the gazebo, surprised by the insight she hadn't expected. As she stared, Lux stuck his head out with an impish, charming smile.

"Are you coming?"

Indecision held her immobile for half a second, her time at the _Catalyst_ having served her well. She'd become more adept at recognizing when someone wanted her and Lux, if she wasn't mistaken, wanted to kiss her. If she let him, maybe it would banish the feel of Rex's kisses.

The indecision didn't last long.

_Needing_ to feel wanted after a week of solid, silent rejection, Ahsoka made her decision and ducked to join Lux in the gazebo.


	13. Chapter 12

**Author's Note:** New material

* * *

**Chapter 12**

**_Coruscant, Post _****Catalyst ****_- Day Nine_**

There was something about downtime on Coruscant that never felt like anything more than the next phase of an operation. Even since landing, Rex and his brothers had been dispatched back to the base, doing rotating shifts on various guard duties for high level senior officials.

It was make work, something to break up the monotony of being on leave with nothing to do, and Rex resented it like never before. Ever since his world had been turned upside down, he needed the escape his profession provided. This, back on Coruscant, wasn't it.

Both good and bad, it meant he hadn't seen Ahsoka in days.

Part of him was glad for it, the other part was missing her something fiercely, aching and yearning with an intensity he'd never dreamed possible for a simple _glimpse _of her. On the _Resolute_, he'd at least passed her in the halls or caught sight of her in the mess hall before ducking away to prevent being seen. He could catch a glimpse of her, when she finally chose to return to the gym, on the practice mat - should she ever return to sparring with her master or the men.

He received regular, like clockwork, reports from the medics on the progress of her injury and to his shame, he'd reread every single one of them until he could have repeated them in his sleep. He missed her something fierce, like one of his blasters or his helmet, and knew he deserved to. Knew it to be a part of his atonement for his actions.

He'd treated her like the perfect Captain since and, despite Skywalker's threats and insistences, refused to surrender more details about the mission or submit a report more detailed than the one he'd previously given. No one, especially her Master, needed to know the length to which she'd been forced to abase herself for the Republic.

Not only that, but Rex wasn't certain he could give an honest report without confessing to his crimes against her person and, the selfish man he had come to know himself to be, wasn't willing to risk reassignment without her. He might not go into battle at her back anymore, but that didn't mean he wouldn't do everything in his power to ensure she made it out alive.

Ahsoka deserved it and more. As far as penance went, it wasn't much in his books. He needed to be reprimanded, punished, and his self punishment just wasn't enough. He needed to suffer _more _to even come close to what he'd put her through.

Leave had turned into volunteering for every single night guarding the Chancellor. Leave wasn't leave, it was work. If he wanted to be technical, he'd had leave on Ord Mantell. His actions on that mission and after had only proven he didn't deserve it.

Tonight, three days into the assignment, he was stationed outside the Chancellor's office with a shiny, new to the company, who went by the name of Hardcase, along with Jesse, Sledge and Del, waiting for the man to be done with his business of state before being escorted home.

They were cooling their heels, the quartet of lower ranking clones at attention as Rex checked the corridors for the umpteenth time. Senators and their aides hustled by on the concourse below, but no one approached the junction where the Chancellor's office was located.

Chatter from the men rang in his ears, Jesse talking about having thought he was going to be decked, and Rex turned it out.

"Captain Rex."

Rex turned at the Chancellor's jovial tone as the door to the office opened and the elderly man stepped through. Dressed in the robes of state, the Chancellor looked like any other ordinary man to Rex. Except for the aura of subdued, leashed power that always seemed to surround him.

"To what do I owe the continued honor of your esteemed protection?"

"General Skywalker's orders, sir," he offered a crisp salute. "We're here to escort you home again this evening."

"Ah, Anakin," the Chancellor's smile was both proud and tolerant. Rex had seen General Kenobi wear a similar expression when discussing General Skywalker. "And why is he not here to greet me himself? Was he not supposed to see me yesterday?"

"An unexpected meeting with the Jedi Council, sir," Rex dropped his arm and nodded to the four men standing at guard to form up around the Chancellor as he unclipped his bucket from his belt, "he sends his apologies and an assurance he'll come by in the morning."

"So after noon then?"

The soft comment earned Hardcase a sharp look from Rex as the clone shook, almost as if stifling a laugh, and resumed his stance. Rex's own inclination to chuckle was quickly smothered. He hadn't felt like laughing since he'd been assigned on that infernal mission with Ahsoka and destroyed her trust and their relationship.

"A word before we leave, Captain?"

With a jerk back to the present, Rex found the Chancellor had reopened his office and was now motioning him inside. With a nod and a hand gesture to his men to wait, Rex followed his Supreme Commander into his office.

Coming to attention before the massive desk as the Chancellor assumed his seat, Rex tucked his helmet under his arm. "Your orders, sir?"

A chuckle and a shake of his head, were followed by the politician leaning forward on his desk with too shrewd of a gaze to be comfortable. "Anakin has told me a great deal about you, Captain Rex. About how you've been key in several battles and unorthodox missions and how you've survived things that would have killed most any of the other men. He has praised you repeatedly, regarding how you've saved Anakin's own life several times, to say nothing of his young Padawan, Ahsoka Tano."

Rex flinched with the mention of Ahsoka but answered anyway. "Just doing my job, sir."

"Your job."

To Rex's surprise, the Chancellor sighed, a sad sound, and he found himself frowning.

"Are you well, sir?"

"It pains me to hear they're just a job to you, Captain. Working so closely with them for so long, I had hoped to hear you were at least friendly with them. Anakin speaks quite highly of you and, I might add, quite fondly."

"I didn't mean it in the way it sounded, sir. It is my privilege to look out for two such skilled Jedi. The General on the battlefield is an inspiration to the men."

"No doubt, with all their acrobatics. Jedi are certainly a sight to behold, are they not? Isn't it distracting?"

"Their lightsaber work? No, sir. Anything but."

"I was more speaking of being led by a young female, Captain," the wry tone was amused, but Rex thought he could detect the sound of something more. He just wasn't sure what. "You have had time to adapt to having her on the battlefield, but very few of your men have. And you _are_ men. It would only be natural to be distracted with such pleasant sights."

"We're soldiers, sir, and well aware that distractions get you killed. The Commander is a highly competent warrior and skilled in keeping her men alive." It was the nicest thing he could think of to say she was as reckless as the General who was her master.

"Ah, I have never said otherwise, Captain, I'm glad she is so effective. In fact," Rex felt his heart plummet to his boots. He could see what came next and there was no way to stop it, "I've been told I have you and Padawan Tano to thank for completing the mission originally slated for Anakin when he found himself incapacitated by his recklessness once again."

"The General saved many of my men, sir. I owed him a debt."

"Considering what Intelligence has told me of what you were required to do for this mission, Captain, you've proven to be most resilient. It's not every man who can be thrown unexpectedly into a mission requiring that level of delicate manipulation and come out successful."

"I-" Rex's brow knit. It sounded complimentary, but there was something else he couldn't quite grasp in the undertone of the Chancellor's words. "Thank you, sir."

Apparently the Chancellor wasn't finished, for he continued speaking as if Rex had not. "To say nothing of the strength of will it must have taken to be within such close quarters of those skilled females for such a long period of time and not indulge." There was an admiring tilt to the Chancellor's lips as he shook his head once. "I admire you for that, Captain."

Choosing not to say anything, Rex wondered where this was going, distinctly uncomfortable with the subject but knowing he couldn't interrupt to change it. If he tried, he'd bring about a suspicion he couldn't afford. Selfishly, he did nothing.

"As Jedi aren't allowed to form attachments, your restraint is to be commended."

Except he hadn't had restraint in the end and the Chancellor's admiration was a lie. Rex, though, couldn't tell his Commander-in-Chief of his indiscretion. He simply had to accept the compliment with a nod of his head, swallowing it down like a bitter pill. "Sir."

"Modesty," The Chancellor shook his head. "Not something I expected in you Captain. No other clone has been on a mission like this. I believe it is something we should have the Intelligence division look into you and your men as possible covert operatives. What do you think?"

The eagerness in the Chancellor's posture wasn't echoed in his gaze, but Rex forced himself to answer as honestly as he could without compromising Ahsoka's reputation. It was bad enough he knew what she'd gone through and what he'd done to her later. He didn't need anyone else knowing the shameful details, but he was under no illusion that his brothers would have shown the same restraint on mission that he had.

"Respectfully, sir, it was the Commander's presence that allowed us to complete the mission successfully. We were both ill-equipped to deal with the situation and we almost _didn't_ succeed."

"And yet you did, in the end."

"Yes sir, but we clones are soldiers first. We're not trained for missions like this and neither was the Commander."

"Did she not comport herself with proper decorum?"

How she supposed to have done that half naked in a costume that was practically see-through... Rex closed his eyes for a moment, trying to compose himself. The memories of their time on Ord Mantell inevitably brought to mind what had followed and his inappropriate, and inexcusable, behavior. Opening his eyes, he tilted his chin and straightened fractionally. "Commander Tano acted as was necessary, dictated by the mission parameters, sir."

"You disapprove of her inclusion."

It wasn't a question but Rex answered anyway. "Yes sir, I do. The Commander, or any Padawan for that matter, should never have been placed in that position."

"What position is that exactly, Captain?"

Rex swallowed hard, his hands clenching as he realized he'd need to spell it out despite the Chancellor having said he'd been told of the mission parameters. "The part of an exotic pleasure slave, sir."

The Chancellor recoiled. "Surely you're mistaken. The Jedi Council would never condone-"

"They didn't just condone it," Rex snapped, his tongue suddenly loosened. "They approved it, ordered it, ensured she did it. Ahso- Commander Tano wasn't given a choice!"

"I was led to believe she had volunteered for the mission."

"No. sir," Rex's jaw worked. "She didn't."

"My my, how unfortunate." The Chancellor was shaking his head. "She's such a young thing, hardly equipped to deal with the immoral appetites of men. I'm all the more impressed you were able to complete your mission, Captain, and so honorably. You are a credit to you men and to be commended."

Rex wanted to sink into the floor as the Chancellor continued.

"I trust Padawan Tano didn't come to any harm with you as her companion?"

She'd come to harm alright, but the impact of what had occurred hadn't been during the mission. It had been after. After, when he'd savagely taken from her what a week's worth of frustration and emotionally physical torture had demanded. When he'd given in to his own base urges and brutalized her in the process.

He had wounded his Commander and friend, destroying whatever had once been between them. However unintentionally, the Chancellor's concern was only hammering home the fact that he'd erred grievously and there was no way, no chance he could fix it. "She was injured during our escape, sir."

"Nothing serious I hope?"

Of course not on mission... everything that had happened _after_. "No, sir. Fortunately."

"I am relieved to hear it, Captain." Pushing up from his chair, the Chancellor came back around his desk. "And I appreciate your insight into this. I will certainly speak with the Council about their use of Padawans in such delicate missions. Clearly neither they, nor men such as yourself, are equipped to deal with the potential ramifications of such delicate situations. In the future, I will _insist_ that only professional agents and Jedi Knights be issued such orders."

"Thank you, sir."

"I must warn you Captain, the Jedi don't like when I issue recommendations and suggestions. They feel it's meddling in their affairs." He seemed to deflate as he considered it. "They may not agree with me and comply with the request."

"Not comply, sir?" Rex was appalled. Something needed to happen so nothing like what he and Ahsoka had been through occurred again.

"No matter," the Chancellor straightened again, once more the determined and powerful leader. "I _do _issue executive orders to the Intelligence branch of the Republic and they _will _comply on penalty of execution."

Harsh perhaps, but Rex, mired as he was in the consequences of the mission to Ord Mantell, couldn't have agreed with it more. "Thank you, sir."

Heading for the door, he waited until Rex fell into step with him. "I find myself weary Captain. Your escort would be most welcome now."

"It will be our honor to see you home safely."

Rex didn't see the Chancellor's smile as he exited the room.

* * *

_Delicious_.

Palpatine kept his expression carefully neutral as he regarded the leading figure of the clone Captain leading his escort.

Mentioning Ord Mantell had set off a riot of emotions within the Clone, a surprisingly potent mixture of guilt, remorse and longing, all of them overridden by a superseding send of self-loathing. The discussion had given him more insight into the mission than the Captain probably thought, leading him to believe that Skywalker's Padawan had been compromised.

Not by the enemy, but by something much worse - according to the Jedi. Attachment.

How he could turn this to his advantage, aside from playing the concerned friend in an effort to gain Anakin's trust even further, he would have to consider. The Padawan was proving to be as effective a student as her Master was a teacher - surprisingly and alarmingly proficient. If he could turn them _both_ to the Darkside, once one of them eliminated Count Dooku, the stronger of the two would be his new apprentice.

Excellent.

An unforeseen, but welcome, development.

He would need to speak with the Padawan alone if this was to work and get a sense of her susceptibility as he had Anakin's. Of course, if Anakin _was _the Chosen One, the Padawan needed to die.

Until that time, he would watch and wait, see how things further developed. If the Clone and the Padawan couldn't reconcile, it would be an avenue worth pursuing if Anakin turned against him. If they did reconcile, slim a chance as that seemed based on the Clone's emotional state, he would simply have to have her executed with the rest when the time came.

Either way, his plans were unfolding perfectly. Chaos, as always, had a beauty unto itself.


	14. Chapter 13

**Author's Note:** New material

**Chapter 13**

_**The Resolute, Post **_**Catalyst **_**- Day Eleven - Early Evening**_

"Welcome back, Commander."

"Thanks Coric," Ahsoka's rejoinder was weary. "How was leave?"

"The same as always, sir."

"Boring?"

He chose to nod and offer her a faint smile. "And yours?"

"It was… educational."

Shouldering her pack, Ahsoka's gaze drifted from his to the men climbing off the various transports, the last to come up from the planet for the night. Scuttlebutt said they'd be departing in the morning for another operation, as soon as Skywalker was done at the Senate hall.

Coric watched silently as Ahsoka scanned the men, stopping every now and again to linger, and he knew what she was seeing. The stoppages were the men she knew best but the fact she moved on quickly once she identified each man, spoke volumes. He suspected he knew what, or rather who, she was looking for. Finally, her shoulders dropped, and Coric could stand it no longer. "He's not here."

"Who?"

"The Captain, sir. You're looking for him."

"I'm not, I'm just..." her montrals darkened and she shrugged, not meeting his gaze. "I'm just seeing who all has come back so far. We ship out after the morning Senate session, I just want to be sure everyone's on board, that's all."

It was a flimsy excuse and she seemed to realize it, wincing after she spoke. He refused to let it drop. Couldn't. "After seeing what he did to you, how can you _want_ to see him, Commander?"

"He's still the Captain of Torrent Company, Coric," her shoulders slumped, "and I'm the Commander. I was just hoping that being away for so long that we could… that he might…"

"That he might want to speak with you again."

She nodded.

"Sir, the Captain's been on duty on the ground since you left - and it's only been six days."

"Six days."

Was it his imagination or did his Commander look shocked? "Sir?"

"It's been a long six days Coric. If Rex isn't here, then I guess I'm off the hook, huh?"

Something about her forced smile was worse than before she'd left. She didn't give him the chance to address it though, walking away with a quick, "Thanks!" before practically running off the deck, her head down.

"What's with the Commander, Sarge?" Jesse's voice drew his gaze, the frown on the normally jovial trooper's expression one of surprised concern, Hardcase with him. "She didn't even stop to welcome us home."

"Is she okay?"

Looking from Hardcase to Jesse, Coric frowned. "The Commander is a Jedi. That means her cares and concerns are _not_ yours." Both of the men snapped to sharp attention at his tone and Coric all but barked his next order. "Report to the med bay for your post leave exam."

"Yes, sir!"

He watched them go.

Whatever Ahsoka's problems, it didn't affect her ability to lead and they _would _respect her and her command or they'd answer to him. It saddened him to know that once Rex, their ranking officer, would have been her champion and now she had to make do with him.

Turning to the deck, he deliberately molded his expression into the most foreboding one he could. Walking up and down the lines, he began to snap orders at the men returning from planet side to keep their minds where they belonged even as he made a mental note to have a word with the men as a unit.

He might not be a Captain, and he might not be _the _Captain Rex, but the men listened to him for far more than they ever did Rex. This would just be one more thing in which they would need to learn there were consequences.

Clones, fortunately, were fast learners.

* * *

**_Coruscant, Post _****Catalyst ****_- Day Eleven - Early Evening_**

"Reckless and irresponsible," Anakin practically threw himself on the sofa in Padmé's living room. "I can't believe you took my Padawan behind enemy lines!"

"Are you upset I asked Ahsoka instead of you, Ani?" Padmé's tone was teasing. "She's well able to handle herself."

"Going behind enemy lines can be a death sentence, Padmé. Ahsoka shouldn't have been the one to go with you. If something had happened to you…"

"Anakin," her tone turned gently chiding, "Ahsoka's your Padawan and her actions are a testament to your skills as a teacher."

"You think so? Half the time I'm not even sure what I'm doing."

"I heard from a reliable source that that she was recently a part of a covert mission and acquitted herself with exemplary prowess."

"I wouldn't know," grumbling, Anakin reached out to catch her hand and dragged her down in his lap, burying his face in her hair. "Neither she, nor Rex, will tell me what happened."

"Really?" Padmé relaxed in his arms with a sigh, tilting her head back to touch his. "They were on the mission together?"

"I was supposed to have gone with her."

"Then why didn't you?"

He hadn't intended to tell her about his latest dip in the bacta tank, but there was no avoiding it now. Wrapping his arms around her waist, he tucked her close, knowing she was going to scold him.

"Anakin?"

"I was recovering from a few scrapes and bruises in the bacta tank."

"Bacta tank!"

Padmé jerked, as if to round on him, and he held her firmly. "It wasn't life threatening, just a couple of broken bones."

"A couple of- let me go!" She tried to turn again. "You said scrapes and bruises!"

Her reaction was as he'd hoped and he squeezed her tightly. "I'm okay, Padmé. Honest. I wouldn't be able to hold you like this if I wasn't." She calmed and relaxed back into his embrace, enfolding her hands over his and twining their fingers together. Anakin drew her between his legs and placed his chin on her shoulder, kissing her cheek gently. "I'm really okay. I promise."

Turning her head, she looked at him, concern in the depths of her brown eyes as she searched his gaze. "You're sure?"

Cracking a smile, he grinned. "You can inspect me later if you like."

"Count on it," she kissed him gently. "Are you staying tonight?"

"Yeah," the warmth that suffused him at the thought was his undoing as he leaned in to catch her lips again with his. Discussion, he decided, could wait. "Why don't you inspect me now? Let's make the most of the fact I don't have to be back on the _Resolute_ until after your morning session."

Her answering kiss was enough.

Later, in the dark of the night, Anakin was tracing designs on her soft, bare skin, watching her, watching him, when Padmé unexpectedly brought the conversation back to where it had started before their loving had taken them off track.

"What did you mean when you said Ahsoka and Rex wouldn't tell you what happened on the mission, Anakin?"

He sighed. "Rex filed the shortest, most unhelpful report in the history of reports and refuses to rewrite it."

"Are you saying _Rex_, your _Clone Captain_, went on this mission with Ahsoka?"

Anakin nodded.

"When you were supposed to go with her first?"

He nodded again.

"Why didn't they send another Jedi with her when you couldn't?"

"Obi-Wan only said he and Cody had been called away. Rex was kind of a last minute improvisation."

"Because he's your Captain."

"I guess so. Obi-Wan didn't say."

"I see." Padmé was silent for a moment, her expression visibly disturbed. "What did Rex's report say?"

"To paraphrase, we came, we saw, and we succeeded in our objectives." Making a face, he shook his head. "It almost _literally_ says that."

"I've read some of Rex's reports," she mused softly, pushing herself up on her elbows. "That doesn't sound like him."

"You've read Rex's reports?"

"I'm on certain committees where I'm privileged to access them." Unexpectedly, she swatted him. "He's not very appreciative of you putting yourself in danger, you know. Neither am I."

"I'm a Jedi, Padmé. It's part of my job."

"I know." She drew him in for another kiss. "That doesn't mean I have to _like_ it when you do."

"Like you'd have me any other way," easing in, Anakin pressed her back to the sheets, silently marveling at the fact that these moments were real and not just in his head. He always missed her when he was away. "Before Ahsoka came around, Rex would watch my back. Now he watches hers… or he used to."

"Used to?"

"Rex and Ahsoka had some kind of falling out after the mission."

Alarm crossed Padmé's expression. "Did Ahsoka tell you this?"

"Ahsoka's not telling me anything!" He rolled away, pushing up from the bed with sudden agitation to stalk, naked, to the window and stare out into the Coruscant night sky, his hands braced on the wall. "She's avoiding me. The _one _time I've talked to her, all she's done is evade the question."

"Did Rex say anything?"

Anakin's shoulders slumped, his hand clenching into an unconscious fist, the light of passing speeders glinting off the metallic joints.

"Anakin?"

"Only that Ahsoka had been forced to perform some rather _personal _duties." He slapped his open hand against the wall. Turning his head, he stopped for a half second, distracted. The sight of her near-nakedness, the way she clutched the thin blanket to her collar bone doing nothing to mask the visual feast, momentarily derailed his train of thought. "You are… incredibly lovely right now, Padmé."

Even from across the room, he could see the color swamp her cheeks as she regarded him with the same hungry look. Padmé, his ever sensible wife, suddenly seemed to snap out of it as he took a step towards her and wrapped herself in the sheet, blocking his view.

"The mission, Anakin. What do you think Rex meant when he said Ahsoka had personal duties?"

The thought killed his ardor, banking it, and he stepped back to her side, dropping to the bed. Lying back, he stared at the ceiling, wishing he had something other than his fears to go on. "I don't honestly know," his voice was rough as he answered her honestly. "I keep thinking they had her playing some kind of pleasure slave, _any_ kind of slave, and all I can think about is what I saw on Tattooine. What I saw some of those women _forced _to-"

"Hush," Padmé leaned over him, gently placing her fingers against his lips. "I'm sure the Jedi Council would never allow any Jedi, let alone a young female Padawan, to be part of a mission like that."

"I keep telling myself that," he kissed her fingertips, "but if I'm wrong, why wouldn't they tell me?"

"Was their mission classified?"

He nodded.

"Then why _would _they tell you?" Padmé searched his gaze and offered him a smile. "You might have been slated for the mission, Anakin, but that doesn't mean they're going to report to you when the mission was then assigned to them, right?"

"I suppose." He closed his eyes as she gently ran her fingers of her free hand through his hair. "That doesn't explain why they didn't go into the last battle together, though."

"What do you mean?"

"Normally they go down in the same drop ship and I can count on Rex to watch Ahsoka's back." He frowned. "Ahsoka, on the security footage, took one look at the drop ship Rex was on and turned the opposite direction."

"Ahsoka and Rex were probably thrown into a situation they didn't expect and need to work out whatever happened."

"I can't afford to have them at odds. I rely on them to watch out for the men and one another on the battlefield."

"Maybe they just need a little distance to-"

"Padmé. Ahsoka got hurt."

"Badly?"

Anakin opened his eyes to look at her again and shook his head. "Bad enough that Coric stole her away when I was finally able to pin her down to ask what happened on Ord Mantell."

"Ord Mantell?"

"Her mission with Rex. She tried to change the subject."

"She's a Padawan trying to follow the rules, Ani. You asking her was completely out of line."

"Hey!" He pushed up on his elbows, bringing them nose to nose. "You're supposed to be comforting me, not taking her side!"

"Think about it. If Obi-Wan had asked you to reveal details of a top secret mission when you were his Padawan, would you?"

"He was my Master, of course I would have!"

"Even if you knew it could get you expelled from the order or court-martialed?"

He considered her words and tilted his forehead to hers. He hoped she was right as to Ahsoka's avoidance and, in hoping, let his wife sooth his worries. "You have a point. I won't ask any more about their mission. I'll let Ahsoka know she can talk to me about it if she needs to, though."

Padmé kissed him.

Anakin lifted one hand to catch the back of her head as she made to pull away. "What as that for?"

"I'm so proud of you."

"I said I wouldn't ask about the mission," he reminded her, stroking his thumb down the side of her neck, "I make no promises about the tension between her and Rex."

"You'll do as you need to," she leaned in to kiss him again. "As you feel is best," her lips came back a third time. "You always do."

Taking the invitation, Anakin hands his hands down her side, taking the blanket from between them and drawing her over and down. Her gasped sigh, as he drank it in with his lips, was home and heaven and washed away thoughts of everything but her.

Tomorrow was soon enough to deal with whatever the new reality was between Ahsoka and Rex.


	15. Chapter 14

**Author's Note:** New material

* * *

**Chapter 14**

**_Coruscant, Post _****Catalyst ****_- Day Twelve - Late Morning_**

"Training detail." Fives shook his head as he climbed onto the transport that would take them back to the _Resolute _and, eventually back to Kamino, where they had been reassigned. "What did we do to earn _training _detail?"

Echo barely registered Fives' caustic complaint, his mind already on the outcome of the early morning session of the Senate. The war would continue. More Clones, more _brothers_,had been commissioned and that meant more brothers would die. All because someone in the Republic had an itchy trigger finger and had assassinated their only ally for peace on the Separatist side. How much of a _di'kut_ did the assassin have to be?

"Echo?"

The private channel light blinked on his HUD but he ignored it, reflecting on what he'd seen and the more he went over it in his mind, the less it made sense. The Republic would _never _have authorized a hit on a pacifist Senator. Not only did it make no sense, but it would only serve to do what it had already accomplished - prolonging a war that the Senate claimed it didn't want.

That meant that _someone_ had screwed up, the Republic actually _wanted _to prolong this war or one of the Separatists had-

"Echo." Fives' hand on his shoulder shook him from his thoughts. "Head's up."

Lifting his gaze, Echo focused in time to see General Skywalker, his Padawan, Captain Rex and three other troopers crossing the platform towards their transport. Skywalker looked loose for a change, deep in discussion with his Padawan, but the Commander and the Captain... even from across the platform, Echo could see the tension between the two subordinate officers.

The Commander looked resolutely forward, her attention seeming to be on her Master, but there was no mistaking the way she twitched with each step the Captain took. Fives probably didn't notice it, but it was catching little details like that which had made Echo his perfect partner.

Rex for his part, was marching with the other three, one of which Echo recognized as Jesse, but there was no chatter on the company frequency. Either the quartet was silent or their discussions were being held privately. Rex's posture was what gave his tension away to Echo. He was stiff, nowhere near the fluid walk Echo had seen many a times and appeared as if he was ready to run at any moment. If that wasn't enough, his fingers were tightly wrapped about the grips of his blasters.

As if, Echo reflected, he was trying not to reach for to the Jedi before him.

"Rex looks ready to murder someone."

"Or throw himself off the platform." While Fives' posture didn't change, Echo could feel his brother's startled look. "Did you hear anything about incidents while we were here, Fives?"

"Nothing. Just the commotion about the dead Senator for the Seppies. You?"

The same as Echo except for one small difference - Echo had overhead something about Commander Tano and Senator Amidala having met with the Separatist Senator before she died. Skywalker, rightly so the informants had said, wasn't happy about it.

The Commander, based on that information, had spent the better part of the week away from the Captain. That the tension between them was still visible was disturbing. "The same."

Observing the procession, it wasn't until they were closer than Echo caught the first snippets of their conversation. Something about assassins and what happened to Separatist orphans. Skywalker shook his head as they drew close enough for clear speech.

"Enough, Ahsoka. Mina Bonteri might have been a good person, but there's nothing we can do about it now. The Republic would never have eliminated her if she wasn't a threat."

"She was a threat to a continued war, an advocate for peace! How can you-?"

"Enough." Anakin made a slashing motion. "Padmé was wrong to take you with her and that's all I'm going to say about it!" He grabbed the hand Fives proffered. "Thanks Fives." The General nodded to Fives and then turned his direction. "Echo."

"Sir." Echo barely acknowledged the recognition as he gave the Commander the same courtesy. She accepted his hand, allowing him to help her up, and Echo didn't miss the way Rex's hands tightened on his blaster grips, or the way his shoulders flexed. Up close, there was no denying that Rex was warring with himself.

Beyond them, Rex stepped back as Ahsoka made the deck, allowing Jesse and the others to file in before him, the men using the safety straps to launch themselves into the transport.

Rex climbed aboard near the General and almost immediately began speaking, over the external comm. about their next destination. Echo saw the Commander swallow visibly, a pain he couldn't understand crossing her features fleetingly as she stared at Rex.

There was a poignant yearning in her gaze as she shifted, as if making to go to Rex's side. She made to move away, towards her Master and the Captain and Rex stiffened impossibly more before moving to stand next to Fives turning to present her with his back. It was a deliberate move that made Echo's lips tighten under his bucket and filled him with a kind of slow burning rage.

Echo maintained his grip on Ahsoka's hand, not allowing her to put herself in the situation she seemed inclined to be. The desolation that flashed across her expression, only to be immediately hidden, as she turned to look at him hit him low in the gut.

Gone was the dazed and confused look from the observation deck the week before and Echo noted that in its place was a deeper, more serious expression. Ahsoka had come out of her shock and was now taking Rex's actions on the chin.

Beyond Fives and Rex stood the General and beyond him were the other troopers. Pulling firmly, Echo pulled Ahsoka in beside him, using his body as a shield between her Master and the Captain as the transport's engines began to wind up.

Echo pitched his voice low, deliberately drawing her attention. "I thought you were ship-side, Commander."

"I had to come back for the Senate session this morning," up close Echo could see there were new, deep lines of fatigue around eyes that were clouded by remorse and sorrow, "I wish I hadn't."

Echo kept his focus on the young woman whose hand he'd not yet relinquished. "Did you know the Senator, sir?"

Ahsoka glanced at her Master and shook her head. "Not as well as I'd hoped." Her eyes strayed to Rex before darting back to his own visor almost guiltily, tears coating her lashes. "I more knew _of_ her, than knew her. She was a Separatist, but in a lot of ways, she thought like Senator Amidala."

Echo wasn't certain if her tears were from the Senator's passing or Rex's indifference. Based on Rex's posture, he had to be catching at least _some _of the conversation - as Echo intended. "Rough leave, sir?"

"If that was leave, send me back to war."

"Rumor has it you'll get your wish."

Startled, she let out an unexpected and somewhat inappropriate snicker. Her smile faded far quicker than he'd ever seen, but it was an improvement over when he'd seen her last. "I would have expected _Fives _to come back with something like that. That's a horrible thing to say."

"No more than the truth."

"True." She made a face. "Thanks, Echo."

"My pleasure, sir."

As Ahsoka disappeared behind him, he made to let go of her hand and, for a moment, she clung to him. Without looking her way, he folded his fingers back around her and squeezed tightly. Feeling her answering grip through his gauntlet, he turned towards the rest of the occupants, and released her.

This time she let him.

Echo resolved to have a private word with her later to see how she was managing. Rex was obviously mired in his job, submerged behind the mask of good soldier and ignoring whatever he'd done to the Padawan.

Whatever had happened between them, and Echo had a good guess after seeing the bruises on Ahsoka's person, Rex was denying it and Ahsoka visibly didn't know how to handle what she perceived as his rejection.

Knowing how the Captain felt about the Commander, and the more he thought about it - and he'd thought about it more than he probably should have - Echo had come to the conclusion that Rex was consumed by guilt and remorse and, as a result, running scared.

That fear had driven a wedge between the two that no one outside the situation could remove.

Based on his observations, and their current actions, it was pretty clear that nothing had been resolved. Time apart hadn't done them any good and time together wasn't fixing anything either. Maybe simply _time _would do what neither separation nor proximity had. Until then, Ahsoka would need the support of her friends. As long as he was on board, Echo would do what he could.

* * *

**_The Resolute, Post _****Catalyst ****_- Day Twelve - Afternoon_**

"I don't believe you."

Jesse grinned as he slung an arm around Lefty's shoulders. "I saw them plain as day with my own eyes, shiny. Down the shoulder blades and crisscrossing his back like someone had taken a whip to it."

"Are you sure he wasn't whipped then?"

Echo and Fives walked into the conversation in the barracks as Jesse let out a shout of laughter. "Whipped? _Rex_?!"

"You said he'd just come back from a mission..."

"You know you're talking about Captain Rex, right?" Fives jumped into the conversation, ignoring the disapproving frown Echo sent his way. "Even for a mission, Rex wouldn't let someone whip him."

"What kind of mission were they on anyway?"

"Not a clue, Lefty, but it must have been one hell of an interesting one," Jesse pulled out a holo-projector and datapad and hooked them together. "Check this out."

An image appeared of Rex and Ahsoka standing on the edge of a field. Rex was wearing black leather pants and a black leather jacket, shielding a very scantily clad Ahsoka in a dancer's costume. She looked very young and vulnerable but, contradictorily, grown up and mature all at the same time. The essence of sweetness and fire that Fives knew to be his old Commander shone through beautifully.

Fives whistled. "I thought he ordered those files destroyed."

"Yeah right," Jesse shot him a dirty look. "Like Rex could destroy _every _file with this on it? Come on Fives, you know me better than that."

"Let's see the one where Rex put his coat on her," Fives suggested, taking a seat at the table, flipping it around and settling in. "That should prove your scratch theory."

Jesse made a face. "Would that I could."

Fives arched his eyebrows and then chuckled. "That's the only holo you have, huh?"

"Yeah." This time Jesse's look was regretful and a little sheepish. "The Sarge was surprisingly swift when it came to purging our feeds."

"You should delete it, Jesse."

Echo's firm admonishment was almost a reprimand and Fives shot him a surprised look. "Delete it? This is_ art_, Echo."

"It's debasing and degrading to the Commander."

Echo reached over and unplugged the holo-projector, killing the image and drawing a round of protests, including one from Fives himself.

"Hey!"

"The Commander and Captain were on a mission. What mission is none of our concern and what they wore for it isn't either." Fives narrowed his gaze on his brother as Echo practically lectured them like cadets on protocol. "Black operations are _classified_ and are rated as need to know and eyes only for a reason. This holo violates those orders."

"We're discussing the fuck me harder scratches on Rex's back," Jesse's response was almost amused. "Not what the Commander was wearing."

"It's inappropriate and disrespectful to the Commander, Jesse." Echo wasn't backing down. "Delete it."

"That holo was just to show the shiny here what he missed out on." Packing away the projector, Fives couldn't see Jesse making any move to do as he was told. "_I _was talking about the Captain, you're the one making a big deal about the Commander."

"She _is_ pretty hot in that holo, though."

"She's your commanding officer, shiny," Fives drawled, "and a friend. I'd watch who you go telling that you got to see a glimpse of her out of uniform."

The shiny flushed before stammering and quickly excusing himself.

Grinning, Fives made a wiping motion with his hands. "Shinies are so easy to predict. He won't talk."

"You can't guarantee that," Echo looked between him and Jesse, "And that's not the point anyway, Fives. Jesse should have left that holo deleted instead of recovering it."

"Maybe," Jesse agreed, "but there's blackmail material here on the Captain."

"He's your superior officer."

"And you saw those scratches the same as we did, Echo. Superior officer or not, you can't tell me you're not curious to know _who _he got them from."

"Not in the least."

Fives looked between Jesse and Echo and, at Echo's flat statement, arched his eyebrows. "Know something we don't, _vod_?"

"Your court-martial should be fun to attend."

Frowning, Jesse packed away his gadgets. "What's with you, Echo? You used to be fun."

"I think you're mixing him up with me," Fives grinned. "Echo's all rules and regulation and protocol. With him in the room, you had to have seen this coming, Jess."

"I'll give you that one."

"Show the Commander a little respect, Jesse," Echo admonished as he turned to leave, "don't show that to anyone else if you do decide to keep it, okay?"

The door closed behind Echo and Jesse looks Fives' way. He was silent and serious for a moment before he spoke, almost subdued. "You guys lose someone else I should know about?"

Fives found himself seriously considering the question and shook his head. "No."

"Then what's with him? He's being more of a stickler than normal."

He was and Fives couldn't deny it. "He's just a little on edge with the rift between the Captain and the Commander."

"Rift?" It was Jesse's turn to arch his eyebrows. "Rex must be spending all of his time with his mystery woman if he's neglecting the Commander."

The conversation devolved from there into speculation, a topic Fives could handle with only half his attention and did. The rest was focused on Echo and his touchiness regarding the distance that had appeared between Ahsoka and Rex.


	16. Chapter 15

**Author's Note:** New material

* * *

**Chapter 15**

**_The Resolute, Post _****Catalyst ****_- Day Thirteen - Morning_**

Ahsoka didn't notice anything strange about being in the mess hall as she took her place in line and collected her tray. Other than the pained relief and frustration that Rex wasn't present, she made her way through the line. Preoccupied as usual, she was grateful for Echo's presence on her left as he slipped in to ensure she collected the correct nutritional requirements without comment.

As they parted ways, Echo spoke. "Ignore the men, Commander. They don't mean anything by it."

She opened her mouth to ask what when a snippet of conversation suddenly hit her with crystal clarity as Echo cleared a line of sound.

"I'm telling you, the Captain-"

"-scars by now. Looked like a hell of a ride."

Gossip. The men were gossiping. A week ago, when she'd left the _Resolute_ for an unexpected mission with Senator Amidala behind enemy lines, she'd been too internally preoccupied to care or even hear gossip. It was a natural part of GAR life and she shook her head. The men would gossip, it was natural. But, as she started wading through the tables, her apprehension climbed with each snatch of conversation that reached her.

"-slashes on his back, like he'd been-"

"Ask Jesse, _he_ was there, he can confirm-"

She passed several tables carrying the tray with her dinner on it towards Chopper in the far corner. The walk had never seemed longer. She felt the heat rush through her veins, darkening the chevrons on her montrals and deepening the pigment of her skin just enough to be noticeable when the talk faded a little when she passed before picking up again.

"I saw Captain Rex's back with my own eyes-"

"-faded to nothing."

As if the troopers didn't want her hearing, before picking up as she passed and her color drained away.

Re- her _Captain's_ back had been torn to ribbons.

_Rex looming over her, pinning her to the bed, his fingers hard on her hips as her back arched. Struggling to find purchase on his sweat slick with claw like rakes of her hands as he thrust within her, lifting her to straddle his hips. Her fingers curling to dig into his back so not to lose the contact, fire screaming through her veins, demanding a release only he could give._

The memory caught her off guard even though she'd started to become accustomed to the flashes these last two weeks. She stumbled, trying to push it back to the depths of her memories where it belonged. Catching herself, she pushed onward.

It was the content and context of the comments that suddenly made her blood run cold, coupled with the memory. Rex's back… She tried to ignore the men and their gossip, keeping her gaze straight ahead, but their words kept coming, reaching her, embedding themselves in her brain.

"Did you hear what happened to the Captain-"

"-clawed by a wild animal."

"Nah. It happened a couple of weeks back-"

"_Commander_!"

She stopped with a start as her feet had just about carried her past the end of the tables, so focused on getting away, looking around for the call.

"Over here." Coric waved her over, Kix and Chopper with him.

Grateful for their support, the words swirling around and around in her head as she set her tray on the table with a touch more force than necessary. Taking her seat with her back to the mess, Ahsoka hunched her shoulders and stared at her tray. "Thanks guys."

Behind her, more discussions could be heard, snippets reaching the table clearly, something about 'fuck me harder scratches' and Ahsoka flinched. Her hands shook as she reached for her utensils only to drop her hands back to her lap, staring at the meal that suddenly held no appeal.

"Sir…" Kix hesitated and Ahsoka caught him glance around the table. "Ahsoka, you shouldn't-"

"Just tell me how long they've been gossiping like that, Kix," she cut him off, her voice low, trembling, unable to look at him.

"A little over a week or so," the medic admitted.

"Who do they… is there a name they've…?"

"No names are circulating, sir," Coric assured her lowly, casting a dark look over the brothers closest to them and, mercifully, silencing the nearby discussion, "the general feel is that it was one of the private contractors."

The general feel meaning that the men were imagining that Rex had been with someone else.

Someone…

An immediate surge of jealousy and hurt closed her throat, swamping her. Her fingers flexed, Ahsoka suddenly and acutely aware of the nails digging into her palms. Her nails were shorter than those of her people traditionally, but she knew just how sharp they were. Nails that had left marks enough on Rex to be noticed and talked about by the men.

The predatory part of her nature was _glad_. Rex was _hers_. He _should_ be wearing marks of her ownership - of possession.

Except Rex wasn't hers. Not anymore.

She'd thought he was. Thought they'd come to some kind of an understanding. Thought that he loved her the way she did him. She'd accepted him into her bed, given him her body - and been shut out of his life completely.

As a result, Ahsoka wasn't sure what she was supposed to feel at that moment. Was she supposed to be relieved or frustrated that no one had connected her to Rex? Had she hurt him? Part of her hoped not. Another part, a darker part, hoped they'd hurt like hell for what he'd put her through since leaving Ord Mantell. She could feel the men at the table watching her, gauging her reaction, well aware that each was already on strained terms with their Captain.

Chopper was on strained terms with just about everyone, including his Captain, but more so since he'd found her in the aftermath of her nightmares. Coric had been her shadow ever since discovering the bruises on her body on her Post Ord Mantell mission exam the day following her encounter with Rex and he seemed to have drawn his own conclusions. Conclusions he'd apparently shared with Kix, or so she figured, for Kix had been disinclined towards Rex since treating her after the battle several days later.

While she'd noted the tension between the men and Rex but hadn't been able to say anything, even knowing she should.

It didn't matter what they thought anyway. Rex wasn't talking to her. He hadn't spoken or even really looked _at_ her since the day after he'd shared her bed. Apparently, listening to the men in the mess hall, he'd not spoken to _them_ either. The speculation was rampant and the curiosity and envy of the men in the room were tinged with a wide range of emotions that threatened to overwhelm her.

This had to stop.

The gossip of the men and the resentment the medics felt towards their Captain was distracting, dangerously so, to the company and it would get someone killed. Having Rex turn his back on her was bad enough. To have one of her men's deaths on her conscience for her lapse in judgment would be unbearable.

Abruptly pushing to her feet, Ahsoka nodded sharply to their suddenly concerned faces. "Excuse me boys, there's a Torrent Company Captain I have to have a word with."

"Commander."

She stopped as Chopper spoke and turned her head to look at him.

"Would you like one of us to go with you, sir?"

With a shake of her head, she forced a small smile for him and the visibly concerned medics. "I'll be fine Chopper, thanks."

"Are you sure, sir? The last time-"

"Is none of your business any more than it's theirs, Kix. Besides," she smiled faintly, her expression pained. "I still outrank him. For what it's worth."

The trio exchanged looks but Ahsoka had already turned to leave, knowing exactly where she'd find Rex at this hour and wishing this wasn't necessary.

She felt the gaze of several of the men on her back and belatedly realized as she hit the corridor that she hadn't disposed of her tray. No matter. Once she was through with Rex, he would have to put an end to the gossip one way or another.

Why couldn't the men have just chalked his injuries up to something else? If her Master had heard the rumors, he'd not said anything to her, but if Rex had heard the rumors, she couldn't understand why _he_ hadn't tried to quell them. He had to have known she'd hear them eventually and put two and two together.

Almost two weeks to the day when Ahsoka had last spoken, last seen, last _touched_ Rex, in any kind of meaningful exchange, she found herself taking a deep breath and entering the debriefing room where he'd been scheduled to speak with her Master about their next routine deployment. The doors opened before she fully found her courage and Ahsoka had no choice but to step inside.

Rex was alone, switching off screens and closing down the data, but he glanced up as she entered and his eyes shuttered, his expression turning immediately rigid and closed. It was like having a blast door slammed shut in her face and she flinched.

"Captain."

"Commander." He made to reach for his helmet.

"Leave it off."

He ignored her, scooping up the bucket and slapping it on his head.

"Take it off, Captain," she ordered, wanting to wince when her voice cracked.

"Respectfully, Commander, no."

It felt like a slap. As if he lifted his hand and struck her. Ahsoka wondered how they'd reached this point. How it had come to be that the man who'd been her closest friend now hated her? Her throat ached and her heart raced as she looked at him, the shamed loneliness of the last two weeks suddenly more intense because he was there - and he didn't want her.

_I shouldn't have thrown myself at him_. If she'd just… left well enough alone, they could have gone on as they had been. They would still be friends and she could still fantasize about him, _tease_ him. _Talk_ with him.

Rex moved and Ahsoka looked away as he continued his task, knowing he'd placed his bucket on his head to avoid and drive her away. Tears stung her eyes. Blinking them back so they wouldn't fall, she wondered if the pain of his constant rejections would ever cease. "We… we need to talk, Captain."

He didn't answer and Ahsoka glanced up at him, wondering if he'd turned his audio receptors off. Oh, to be a clone with a helmet. Clearing her throat, she raised her voice. _"Captain."_

There was no answer from Rex, but his posture was rigid and Ahsoka knew he was paying her attention visually, probably monitoring her through his HUD, even if he couldn't hear her. Slapping her hand against the controls from the door, she engaged the privacy settings before approaching him. She wasn't three feet from him before he turned, crossing his arms over his chest and stopped her with a tilt of his helmeted head.

"Re-" Her bravado slipped away her hands clenched into fists again at her sides. "Captain."

"Commander."

She wished he'd say something else. "We have to talk."

He remained silent.

"It's… about the men."

"What about them, sir?"

His clipped, professional question was all business. All he'd been since leaving her bed thirteen days ago. Ahsoka swallowed hard, suddenly unable to voice what she'd heard in the cafeteria. Her skin flushed, the chevrons on her montrals suddenly several shades darker than when she'd entered. "I-"

There was a pause and Ahsoka found her courage failed her. She looked away, biting her lip, struggling with the emotional impact of being so close to him. Rex was radiating caution, revulsion and desperation and it wasn't difficult to tell that he wanted to be anywhere but there with _her_.

"If that's all, sir." He didn't phrase it as a question, simply turned to go.

"You can't…" Ahsoka's head shot up and around as he moved around the projector, deliberately passing along the other side of the display to keep distance between them. "You weren't dismissed, Captain!"

He paused, looking at her. At least she _assumed_ he was looking at her when his helmet turned her way. "Was there something more, Commander?"

Her jaw worked. "I told you... about the men."

"_What_ about the men, sir?"

"The gossip. About you." He said nothing and Ahsoka wasn't sure if he was listening for all she could _feel _him looking at her. "Did you-"

"I heard you, sir." He nodded to her sharply. "Is that all?"

All? That was _it_? He wasn't going to- "I… what are you…?"

He turned to go again, apparently taking her lack of coherent response for confirmation. His message couldn't have been clearer. He'd lost all respect for her and no longer viewed her orders as ones to be followed.

By seducing him, she'd not only sacrificed her position as his friend, but apparently every iota of respect she'd earned as his Commander. He'd seen her during that infernal mission, helped her, encouraged her, _wanted_ her and now… now she wasn't even good enough to speak more than two sentences too.

She couldn't handle it and something within her broke loose.

Unthinking, Ahsoka gripped Rex within the invisible hands of the Force and lifted him off the floor, slamming him into the wall by the door. "I didn't give you permission to go, Captain!" His sense of shock and surprise reverberated through the Force as she snapped at him, but she paid it no mind, blinded by her own emotional turmoil.

"Commander!"

Ahsoka watched as Rex twisted and turned, pinned to the wall with his feet off the ground, but couldn't break free of her Force grip. She stepped towards him.

"I know you hate me, Rex and you have every right to after everything that's happened. When I threw myself at you and made you sleep with me after our mission, I destroyed our friendship. I'm sorry I thought that because what I felt for you was returned we could... that… I'm sorry I thought that because we _work_ together and nobody knew it would be _okay_," the words came out in a rush, pouring out all strung together and barely coherent as tears stung her eyes and threatened to fall. Her arms were outstretched as she kept him in place but her own emotional havoc completely masked the shock of his, "but I can't take this anymore! It's killing me, Rex. I can't… I can't _do_ this."

* * *

From behind the safety of his bucket, Rex stared at the young woman who held him unconventionally immobile, her words echoing around in his head in a scattered disjunction. Pieces stuck out, but her opening statement hit him the hardest.

_I know you hate me._

No he didn't. He _loved_ her.

He _hated_ himself.

Rex had seen the evidence of his violence on her skin the morning following their successful mission to Ord Mantell. She'd borne the imprint of his hands, his mouth. His lacks of respect and control. Worse, he'd seen it not just on her person, but in her torn clothing, lying in a heap where it had fallen next to his scattered armor. In the state of the bed, partially off its moorings and canted at an angle and in the overturned and upended knickknacks at the head of the bed, ignored and forgotten during their tryst.

He couldn't be trusted around her, couldn't be trusted to control himself, and as a result, it couldn't happen again. He couldn't bring himself to allow that kind of lapse, that kind of indulgence, even if Ahsoka had been willing to permit him a second chance.

He was a soldier and his duty, his purpose, his _raison d'etre_ was to fight and break things. To be _violent_. He'd been bred for it, trained for it. That all he knew was aggressive give and take couldn't have been brought home to him more clearly than if one of his brothers had taken holos and cataloged Ahsoka's injuries.

Which Coric and Kix, no doubt, _had_.

He'd hurt her. Badly. He'd bruised her, marked her. He'd hated himself in those moments, and every one since, knowing without a shadow of a doubt she would hate him, too, upon waking. Not only hate him, but he couldn't bear the idea of seeing the _fear_ of him he knew she'd now carry blossom in her once trusting gaze.

Despite knowing all this, her impassioned plea, her _distress_ reached through the cracks of his determination to wrap about his heart like a vice. He'd never done well seeing her like this but to know it was _because _of him...

_I know you hate me._

Her chest was heaving as she visibly struggled not to give into the tears glittering in her eyes, and somehow he found his voice. "I don't hate you."

She flinched. "Don't lie to me," her voice cracked, a tear slipping down her cheek to be brushed angrily away. "You've made it plenty clear you've lost all respect for me. You don't even follow my orders anymore!"

He clenched his jaw inside his helm at the accusation. "You have a combat complaint, sir?"

"A… no! I just ordered you to leave your helmet off, Captain."

"Hardly a relevant order, sir."

"And _you_ decide they're relevant? Maybe I should just have Skyguy send me back to the temple so I'm out of your way for good!"

Staring at her behind the safety of his visor, Rex tried to picture what the _Resolute_ would be like without her, talking or not - and couldn't. He'd done a lot of wishing himself on other commands or being in the field with the lulls, hell, he'd even tried to get himself injured so he'd wind up in the medbay for a legitimate excuse to avoid her. But not once, he realized with a start, had he ever wished for _her_ to be gone.

No matter the scenario, she'd always been on the periphery. Always _been there_.

Selfish of him, perhaps, but regardless of his own failings, his own treatment of her, he couldn't picture his part in this war not graced by her presence, however much he didn't deserve it. Her words shocked him, jarring him, the bleakness of his future without her suddenly magnified a thousand fold. He struggled against the strength of her Force hold. "Commander-"

"_Don't_ call me that!" she flung the words at him like a wounded animal, the cry more of a plea than a command. "How... after everything we've been through - everything we've _done_! - don't you know what that does to me? Don't you know how much it _hurts_?"

He had an idea. He felt the same way every time she called him 'Captain' so formally but had taken it in stride as a part of his punishment. Part of his deserved pain for having broken the trust between them and ravishing her so brutally. For having destroyed her innocence.

Rex felt he _deserved_ to feel like the lowest form of life. To be nothing more than a one more fighting man. He _deserved _to regret and remember each and every touch, the feel of her skin giving way under his hands, unable to withstand the cruelty of his grip. To lament the way he'd given in to his baser urges, exposing her to the untamed savage that dwelled within him.

And _she_ believed it was her fault.

"Let me down, Ahsoka."

She sobbed when he said her name, a thousand blades of guilt tearing through his chest with the sound as tears slid down her cheeks. He was hurting her again. He always seemed to be hurting her now. The sob was eerily familiar to the sound she'd made the night that had changed their relationship. Only the cadence was different.

Now she sounded broken, like breaking glass. Then it had been a demand.

It would be better for her if he withdrew as he had been, but he couldn't. Watching her, _seeing_ what he'd done to her... he couldn't do it any more than she had. He'd been so wrapped up in his own guilt, so _convinced _she hated him, he hadn't once even considered the possibility that she _wouldn't_ be mad at him. That she wouldn't be disgusted and repulsed by what had occurred or, miraculously, not frightened of him.

He'd brushed her aside and avoided her, afraid of what she'd say, what she'd tell him. Afraid of having her lay open the bleeding wound in his chest and confirm his worst fears. He'd hurt her and, instead of condemning him as she ought, apparently she blamed herself.

Rex didn't know how it was possible, how she could still care about him after his brutal treatment of her, but she did. He could see it in her eyes. Miraculously, there was no fear, just desolation and misery shining from the depths, shimmering azure pools of wounded turmoil as she held him in place. It was there in her voice, intensifying her misery. He knew because he felt it himself. He had to protect her from himself, yes, but he couldn't do that if he was continually hurting her in the process.

"I don't hate you, Ahsoka." He repeated it, not sure if it was the right thing to say, unable to help the hoarse tone in his voice. "I could _never_ hate you."

"You must," she shook her head, misery in her expression. "If you didn't hate me, what I… did to you, to us… if…"

Totally uncharacteristically she suddenly seemed unable to form a complete sentence and Rex had the urge to hold her despite his private vow to never touch her again. He couldn't risk exposing her to the darkness within him. He'd never, _ever again_, permit himself to be in the position where he could deal her damage. She deserved to be cherished and loved by someone who could do it properly. By someone who would treat her with care. Not someone who was so affected by her nearness, her touch, that he lost all coherent thought and control to primal, animalistic urges.

"Let me down, littl'un."

"Don't call me that. I'm not a child!"

He knew. _Boy_ did he know! "Ahso-"

"I'm not letting you down just so you can walk away again," she accused tearfully. "I wrecked this. I broke us, Rex and you won't let me try and fix it!"

"You didn't-"

"I _did_! I must have, otherwise you'd be able to look at me without feeling… without…"

"Without feeling what?" The words were far colder than he'd intended but Rex resented the fact she'd used the Force to sense his emotional state. "What did you feel, Ahsoka?"

"Disgust. Revulsion."

The tightness around his chest suddenly had nothing to do with emotion and everything to do with the mental pressure she was exerting to keep him in place. He braced both hands on the wall, trying to push himself off, all without luck. Frustrated, with himself, with her, Rex ripped his helmet off and threw it away, letting her see him. "Not for _you_!"

"_For _me, _with_ me, it doesn't matter! Any way you look at it-"

"Enough."

She continued as if not hearing him, "- you still hate me for seducing you!"

_"I don't hate you!"_ He snapped, mercifully silencing her, shaking from rage and disbelief. How could she, for a single _moment_, believe he could, drove him to speak. "I could _never_ hate you, Ahsoka!"

"Then _why_ have you been so cold?"

"Because I hate myself for what I did to you." He stared at her hard. "And so should you."

"What you... Rex, I couldn't-"

"You _should_!"

"I was a willing participant!"

"I forced you to submit to me! I didn't ask! I didn't give you a choice!"

"Is that what you think?" The pressure around him eased a little and his armor made an interesting sound on the wall as he dropped back to the ground - but still couldn't move away from it as she continued. "You think you took _advantage_ of me?"

"I took what I wanted from you, Ahsoka. I lost control!"

"I _wanted_ you to lose control!" Her harried statement shocked him into silence. "I called you to my room, Rex," he gained a fraction of leeway as her arms wavered. "_I_ called _you_. I knew what I was doing. After everything we'd just been through on Ord Mantell, I needed you, I _wanted_ you," her voice dropped to a shamed whisper, "and I thought you wanted me too."

"I did." _I do. _The latter wasn't voiced. Rex couldn't bring himself to with the sense of shame that still crippled that kind of declaration. No matter what he _wanted_ to say or how she said she felt, it did nothing, _nothing_ to erase his guilt at seeing the marks of his heavy hands on her body the morning after. He was the animal Zidel had proclaimed him to be, enjoying the domination, the _suffering_ of his partner. He couldn't let it happen again. "But there are no excuses. My behavior was reprehensible, unforgivable, and it _won't_ be repeated."

* * *

Ahsoka's arms fell limp at her sides, unable to hold her mental concentration in the face of Rex's statement. "Your…" a horrible sensation settled in her gut, making it clench. "You didn't do anything wrong, Rex!"

"I did everything wrong," his eyes blazed at her, practically screaming the shame and self-loathing she could now hear in his voice. Emotions she'd once thought were directed at _her_. "I never should have touched you!"

"Don't," she didn't want to hear this, the words lancing through her with destructive force. "Don't say that!"

"Don't say what, Ahsoka? The truth?" Rex stepped away from the wall, towards her, and Ahsoka took a step back, colliding with the holo display, her fingers curling around the lip, wondering how she could have misjudged him so badly. "That nothing should have ever happened between us? That what _did_ was a mistake?"

_It wasn't. _The words stuck in her throat, refusing to find voice as he continued.

"You're my Commander, my _superior officer_ and a Jedi. Fraternization regulations are clear and I broke them anyway. Willfully. Knowingly."

"Then why-" a sharp metal edge dug into her palms, tearing the skin as slowly as Rex was shredding her heart. "You didn't-"

"I did it," Rex corralled her against the holo emitter, nostrils flaring, leaning in to brace his hands on either side of her body, close but not touching. His eyes glittered with humiliation and wounded pride. "Because I _wanted_ you and couldn't help myself."

_Too close!_ Her instincts screamed the warning, telling her to escape before he hurt her further, but she couldn't move. "I'll leave," she whispered. "I'll leave and you'll never have to-"

He laughed, once, harshly, pushing away from the position and straightening. "That won't solve anything."

"Rex."

"You think the gossip is bad now, Ahsoka?" he demanded. "What's going to happen when word gets out that _I _am the reason you left?"

"I'd never-"

"The men talk. They speculate. They'd blame me for your leaving."

"They wouldn't know!"

"After the last two weeks, it wouldn't matter!" His expression was tortured and haunted. "Leaving won't solve anything."

"_Solve_ anything?" Ahsoka couldn't help it; she laughed. Slapping one hand over her lips to stop the sound when it emerged as slightly hysterical sounding bray, she could taste the tang of blood as she opened her mouth to speak. "You want to _solve_ something? How, Rex? How can we solve _anything_ when you won't let me apologize for-"

"You have _nothing_ to apologize for!"

"I made you hate me!"

"I told you - I _do not_ hate you," he snapped as he crossed his arms over his chest. "I hate myself."

"Why, Rex? What did you do that's so horrible?"

He was suddenly tight lipped and Ahsoka dropped her hand, bruised in ways she'd never imagined possible from this conversation, yet, despite that, finally feeling as if they were getting somewhere.

She'd said her piece and his reaction hadn't been what she'd feared. Part of her was still terrified and broken from his harsh treatment these last two weeks and raw from this conversation. It wasn't a feeling she expected would change anytime soon. Still, his words sparked a glimmer of a hope in her eternally optimistic, if broken, heart.

"You can't throw something like that at me and not explain," cajoling should have been beneath a Jedi but Ahsoka found she couldn't control the desperate edge to her words - and didn't care. "_Why_ Rex? What happened?"

He continued to be silent for a moment before his arms loosened and a furrow appeared in his brow. "You're bleeding."

"Don't change the subject, what-"

She stuttered to a stop when Rex was suddenly before her, taking her hands in his and turning them over with a frown. Her heart jumped into her throat with the move, attempting to pull her hands away, but his fingers closed and locked about her wrists, preventing her escape. The traitorous whisper of her desires wished he wasn't wearing his gauntlets, so she could feel the rasp of his skin against hers as she froze under the silent instruction.

The memory of the last time he'd held her to tend a wound surfaced. His concentration, the concern and heat that shimmered in his gaze when he'd finally looked up. How his hands had trembled then, much as they did now, gentle yet firm on her wounded flesh. With difficulty, she pushed the memory away. She _wanted_ that Rex back and didn't know how to reach him.

Searching his face, she noticed a raw kind of pain in his eyes as his thumbs gently brushed over the palms of her hands, not touching her injuries. Following his gaze, she saw what he did. Slashes across her palms; thin lines of blood welling from the cuts.

"They're nothing Rex," she ventured softly, attempting to curl her fingers inwards, only to be thwarted. "I've had worse."

His tortured eyes lifted to hers. "_I_ gave you worse."

"You-" frowning at him, she shook her head fractionally. It was the closest they'd been since that night in her quarters and she was loathe to give it up. It was frustrating to see his eyes and not be able to read what he was feeling. "No you haven't. You've patched me up from worse."

There was a moment's pause where Ahsoka thought he was going to explain but instead he just shook his head and looked away. "You should get these seen to."

"You're right here."

"Coric-"

"I know you've supplies in your belt, Rex."

"I don't think that's a good idea. I'll-"

"Rex." He made to withdraw and Ahsoka twisted her wrists, catching his and smearing her blood across the back of is gauntlets. "Don't. Please don't."

"You're injured."

Inconsequentially, as he well knew. Rex had seen her take far more grievous wounds than a couple of sliced palms. His behavior was at odds with the magnitude of the event. That pretty much, she realized with a flash of insight, described every one of his actions since they'd finished their mission to Ord Mantell.

Since their relationship had irrevocably changed from friends to lovers... and now nothing.

"What did you mean when you said you'd given me worse?" He tried to pull away, but she held on doggedly. This close to an explanation that might make some sense, she wasn't about to give up. "I need to know, Rex. I can't just take you at your word. You say I should hate you, but you won't give me a reason why!"

"I'm a soldier."

He said the words tightly, as if they should mean something, but Ahsoka wasn't able to follow his train of thought. "I know that. What does that have to do with anything?"

"Everything."

Ahsoka shook her head, more confused than before but Rex, after a moment's hesitation, thankfully continued.

"I was bred to violence. From the moment I was decanted, I was trained in ways to kill. I was taught violence and destruction, praised for obliteration, not creation. I was conditioned to be the perfect soldier. The perfect leader. To analyze tactical situations for the greatest advantage and execute a plan of attack that would bring about victory."

She wanted to tell him he was more than just his training, but didn't dare interrupt now that he was talking. The correlation between his training and his time in her bed, not to mention his treatment of her afterwards, would hopefully be revealed in time. So she waited, patiently, and listened to the explanation she'd been searching for since she'd woken, cold and alone, after her one night with him.

"Everything about my upbringing has been violence. I know more ways to kill or maim a living being with my bare hands than there are names for them. I know the swiftest ways to kill a clanker with or without a blaster. My whole body is designed to be a weapon."

"How does all of that have any bearing on you and I making... having..." she didn't know how to classify it. For all it had been love on her end, Rex didn't love her but she refused to think of it as _just sex. "_On what we did?"

"Because I hurt you. I _marked _you, Ahsoka!" He snarled at her, still trying to back away and she went with him, following, her fingers curling around and under the edges of his gantlet plates so he couldn't escape. "Don't you see? I let myself go and my instincts went straight to my training. I could have seriously injured or killed you!"

"But you didn't."

"It doesn't matter! I _saw_ how I abused you when I woke up that morning."

"You didn't _abuse_ me!"

"There were marks the size of my hands on your skin!"

"The bruises?" For all they'd pained her at the time, she'd secretly relished the bruises - until he'd become so cold towards her. "I don't break under a little pressure, Rex. I'm not made of Alderaanian crystal!"

"You deserved better."

"I _deserved_ what I wanted and I wanted you. I wanted you like that. I _wanted _you to lose control the way I did!"

"No one _wants_ a weapon-"

"You're more than a weapon, you're a man with wants and needs and feelings." She wanted to shake him. "Did I ever, even once, tell you to stop? At any point? Did I tell you that you were being too rough? That it _wasn't _okay?"

"That's not the point-"

"That's exactly the point!" Tugging on his hands, she forced him to face her, gripping the backs of his gauntlets for dear life. If she didn't reach him now, she never would. "You say you were bred to violence. I get it. My own instincts are violent. If they weren't, should it be more than a little peculiar that I _like _it when you bite me? Or that I hurt you without thinking in turn?"

"It's not the same thing. You didn't hurt me."

"How's your back, Rex?"

"My-" he stared at her.

"I told you I heard the men talking about it," she reminded him, her tone raw. "I _heard_ that they'd been speculating as to how you'd gotten them. That some woman had shown her _appreciation_," she remembered the jealousy that had followed that comment, "for your talents. I didn't even _remember_ clawing you until I heard the rumor, did you know that?"

"No."

"Violence works both ways, Rex. Should I regret that? What did Jesse call them..." her face suffused with color but she didn't back down, her montrals deep blue to be nearly black, "fuck me harder scratches?"

"I should never have touched you."

"Don't say that," she practically hissed the words. "_Never_ say that. If you hadn't touched me on Ord Mantell, I would have blown our cover the instant I had to do that dance and everything leading up to it would have been for nothing!" He had no answer to her comeback and Ahsoka forged ahead. "I meant it when I said I never want anyone else to touch me, Rex."

"You deserve someone who won't mark you."

"I _like_ it when you mark me," she countered, staring up into his eyes, glad to see she'd finally shocked him, "just how I _like_ marking you. Does me marking you make me a bad person? A violent one?" Again, he had no answer for her. "Not all bruises are a bad thing, Rex."

* * *

_Not all bruises are a bad thing._

Rex stared at her, hearing her but not believing, the words sparking a hope in his heart. Could she be right? Ahsoka wouldn't be fighting this hard against his withdrawal if she'd felt taken advantage of, if she'd felt mistreated. He'd been orchestrated for war, not interpersonal relationships. Rex _hoped_ he was reading this right. "They're marks of violence."

"Pleasurable pain. Violence born of passion - of mutual _need._"

Her earnest expression still held a guarded quality he recognized but couldn't blame her for. He'd done this to her. He'd taken her trust and smashed it but not, it would seem, because of his physical actions. It was too much to wrap his head around.

"Violent passion."

Ahsoka nodded.

"Violence in anything isn't right."

"Mutual violence, Rex," she stepped closer and this time he didn't retreat, taking her weight against his breast plate as she tilted her head to his. "Did it hurt when I marked you?"

He didn't remember. The details of that night were clear in his mind, but he had no recollection of pain, only pleasure. Searching her gaze, he slowly shook his head. "I don't remember." Cautiously, her poised her the same question. "Do you?"

"Remember when you marked me?"

"Yes."

Her lips curved into the most beautiful smile he'd ever seen and one he'd thought was gone forever. "I don't remember any pain. All I remember is pleasure. Being held, being treasured," she paused and continued with soft conviction, her eyes still shining with unshed tears, "being _loved _by the only man I'll ever want. Every ache, every bruise, _everything_, Rex, was worth it and more."

It was like taking a blow to the chest, her words driving the air from his lungs and making him reel. _Love_. _Ahsoka loves me. _Considering it had taken losing her, deliberately cutting her out of his life in anything but a professional capacity, for him to realize what he _felt _for _her _as well, it was a novel realization.

Humbled but still leery, Rex knew he needed time to process everything she'd said. To think about it, _really_ think about it, without the distraction of her presence. He stepped back, away from her, and carefully unhooked her fingers from his gauntlets. Trying to ignore the way the light in her eyes dimmed, seeming to die, as if she were seeing his withdrawal as a defeat.

Looking for the right words, he found he didn't have any. He stared at her, watching as her shoulders slumped and she turned partially away from him. It was painful to see her give up trying to convince him. Her jaw worked for a moment before her gaze dropped to his hands, and then her own.

"I'll go find Coric. I'm sorry for disturbing you, _Captain_."

She was gone before Rex found his voice again. His knees felt weak, his whole galaxy seeming to have been turned on its head once more. Stumbling to one of the nearby chairs, he sank into it, his head in his hands.

Ahsoka's ardent pleas, her determined arguments, everything she'd just thrown at him whirled around in his head like the discordant sounds of a battlefield. None of it made sense and yet, all of it made _perfect_ sense.

Logically he understood what she was trying to do, but the hatred and self-loathing that had been his constant companions since the morning after their sexual encounter weren't so easily banished. He needed time to process and research, to _understand_ what she'd been trying to tell him.

_Pleasurable violence between lovers_.

That, more than anything, had been her underlying message. He knew because she loved him still. If he hadn't just killed it for good. _I'm sorry, Ahsoka_, he agonized silently, _so, so sorry._


	17. Chapter 16

**Author's Note:** New material.

* * *

**Chapter 16**

**_The Resolute, Post _****Catalyst ****_- Day Fifteen - Late Evening_**

The knock that came on her door two nights later wasn't unexpected. Ahsoka had been expecting Anakin to come searching for her the day before when she'd refused to leave her quarters. Dragging her feet over, she slapped the activation controls.

"You're a little late, Sky-" she faltered, the sight beyond her doorway not the one she'd expected. "Rex."

"Ahsoka."

She stared at him. He was dressed in his full armor, right down to the bucket under his arm, and standing at ease on her threshold. It wasn't a sight she'd ever expected to see again and starkly reminded her of the night she'd last called him here.

Except she _hadn't_ called him to her this time.

After their disastrous discussion two days before, she'd expected nothing less than the formality and coldness than had characterized their relationship since their return from Ord Mantell. That she hadn't seen him in the interim was mostly due to the fact she'd retreated to her quarters and refused to come out. She couldn't deal with another rejection. "What-"

"Did you mean it?"

Ahsoka blinked. It was a question without context and she couldn't follow it. "Mean what?"

"What you said in the briefing room."

She'd said a lot that day, most of it unwise, a risk that hadn't paid off. Rex had rejected her with his silence. Why was he bringing it up now? Her arms crossed over her chest defensively, her fingers flicking towards the door's activation switch. "Go _away_, Captain."

His hand lashed out, stopping the door from closing. "Not this time, Ahsoka."

She flinched as he said her name, surprised by his resistance. He'd wanted her out of his life, cut her free of it in the most painful way possible, and he chose _now _to refute it? Now that she'd been forced to accept it completely, he wanted to talk? If she hadn't been in so much pain, pain she couldn't afford to let him see anymore, she might have laughed.

"That's _Commander_, Captain," interjecting a cold note into her voice, she made it an order. _"Get out."_

Rex, to her surprise, shook his head and stepped in, using the arm against the portal to push it all the way open. He stopped there, in the doorway, watching her with a look she would have described on Ord Mantell as intensely personal. It was a look she hadn't seen since fleeing from the _Catalyst_.

"Not after everything we've been through."

"After everything we've been though?" Unable to help herself, she threw the words back in his face. "You've already shown me plenty, _Captain_, about what you think of everything we've... of-" she choked, unable to finish. "_Go!_"

"I can't."

"You're mistaken," unwittingly, Ahsoka touched the Force and added its weight to her words. "You left a long time ago."

"Mind tricks won't work on me, 'Soka."

"Don't call me that!"

Rex stared at her for a moment before he posed her the question she most wanted to avoid. A question she didn't feel he deserved an answer to any longer. A question that was asked with a kind of single minded intensity she knew he no longer felt.

"Did you mean it?"

She was done making a fool of herself and being rejected, why couldn't he just leave her alone? "It doesn't matter."

Turning away from him, she gave him her back and walked on shaky legs to stand behind the chair to her holonet terminal and gripping the back. The same chair where Rex had been sitting over three weeks ago when they'd discovered exactly _what_ their mission was going to entail.

The worst part about staying in her room was the memories. Rex was everywhere she looked making the escape no escape at all. She'd have retreated to her private place near the engines, but Anakin would have come looking for her.

Ahsoka knew she had only escaped until now because he believed she was meditating on a Force exercise Master Plo had given her. It was a weak excuse but she was willing to employ any tactic to stay beyond sight of her men. She couldn't cope with their pity or Rex's cold indifference.

Except he wasn't indifferent now. "It matters to me."

Even from across the room, her misery and inner turmoil couldn't mask his determination. Rex had come to speak with her and wouldn't be denied. Two days ago, she'd have been ecstatic, hell bent to say her piece as well - except she already had and it made no difference. Rex had withdrawn within himself and she'd been unable to reach him.

"Ahskoa-"

Ahsoka jerked when his hands came to rest on her shoulders, sliding slightly to brush the skin of her upper arms, not having heard him cross the room. Her body welcomed it, her traitorous thoughts betraying the desire to remove his gauntlets and feel his flesh against hers like the night they'd-

With a cry, she shrugged him off, whirling to face him and backing away as she held her hands up before her to ward him off, tears she should no longer have been able to cry stinging her eyes. "Don't touch me! Whatever-" she choked tried to finish anyway. "Whatever we _were_... you can't..."

* * *

_I did this to her_.

The realization for Rex was as uncomfortable but it only fueled his desire to set this right. Ahsoka had offered him the gift of herself, one he'd taken joyously, having never known that kind of acceptance.

In return, he'd mistakenly, _stupidly_, let his fears blind him and instead of talking to her, _trusting_ her, he'd cut her out of his life before she could cut him out of hers. Looking at her now, seeing the wilted, wounded creature she'd become and knowing he was the cause, Rex knew he had to fix it.

Somehow.

Looking into the depths of her desolate eyes, Rex stayed where he was, but _willed_ her to feel his sincerity. "I was wrong, Ahsoka."

He counted a minor victory when she stopped, barely three feet away, her hands wavering before her. Hands he only then noticed had bandages wrapped around them. He didn't dwell, glad that one of his brothers had patched her up, and forged ahead. Simply admitting it wouldn't be enough, she would, he'd gleaned from his research, need to know _why_. Keeping his gaze on hers, Rex started at the beginning, his fingers touching the back of the chair she'd been holding and wishing it was her hand.

"When we were first assigned to this mission, neither of us really knew what to expect." It was an understatement, but an accurate one. "We prepared for it in every way we could but neither of us were ready when it started. I was wrong to think I could handle the situation. I was wrong to think I could handle being in such close quarters with _you_ and control myself. I've always admired and respected you..." Full disclosure. "I've always _cared_ for you, Ahsoka."

"You have a lousy way of showing it," she shook her head. "I don't want to hear anymore, _Captain_. Just go."

"I can't," he resisted the urge to go to her, to demand she call him by name or - perhaps worse - to hold her, as he made his apology. His confession. She was still defensive but she hadn't kicked him out bodily. He wanted to believe that meant she _did _want to hear what he had to say, even though she professed otherwise. "If you wanted me gone, you'd make me leave."

Her posture tightened fractionally as she crossed her arms over her chest, hugging herself, but Ahsoka didn't look his way and didn't deny it.

"While we were in _The Catalyst_, I was forced to face some hard truths about myself with regards to you." He paused and then voiced them. "I desired you, Ahsoka. In the basest ways a man can lust after a woman. Being surrounded by it and watching other men lust after you," Rex shook his head. "It only made it worse. It made me... jealous."

Silent before him, her eyes wide, Rex suspected he'd caught her by surprise.

"Watching you on the lap of that seppie," his hand clenched around the back of the chair and he knew his expression darkened. He couldn't help it. Every time he thought about it, it infuriated him. "After everything you'd told me about _not_ wanting to do it... There was no other time during that mission when I wanted to grab you and run _more_ than at that moment. You should never have been asked to go on that mission, Ahsoka."

"A little late for that now, isn't it?"

Seeing the hurt in her eyes, the rawness, Rex couldn't help himself as he stepped towards her, relieved when she didn't retreat further, his fingers touching the curve of her cheek and catching the tear that had escaped. It soaked into the fabric of his gloves as she watched him with wide, luminescent eyes.

"When we got back to the ship and the men saw you, I was already at the end of my control - but you knew that." His voice was gruff. "You said you knew what you were doing when you called me here last time - that you'd called me because you wanted me. _Needed _me." He paused for a moment. "I came to you for the same reasons. I could never have denied you after what we'd just been through."

"You did."

He felt the stilted, whispered accusation like a knife to the chest. "I _didn't_, Ahsoka. I should have. I should never have come to you that night. I _knew_ I wasn't in control and I came anyway," his fingers slid along the satin of her cheek, longing to feel her flesh against his own again. "I came to you because I needed you, _wanted _you, as much as you did me."

"You-" confusion shone in the depths of her gaze. "Then... _why_... did I do something wrong?"

"No, but I thought I had. When I saw you lying there that morning, bearing the bruises of my hands and mouth, all I could think was that I was no better than any of the males who had wanted to purchase your charms. That everything Zidel had said about me was true."

"Zidel? What does she-"

"It's not important now." He shook his head, cutting her off. "What _is_, is that, in my mind I'd broken the trust between us. I hadn't treated you with and of the consideration I felt you deserved. I hadn't been gentle and in control or mindful of your needs, only my own."

"But you didn't-"

"I know." She _looked_ at him and he amended his statement. "I know _now_. I believed that by marking you I had done wrong. It never crossed my mind that you marking me was anything more than what I deserved."

Ahsoka visibly swallowed with difficulty. "Deserved punishment?"

"Penance," he agreed, "for what I perceived as my crimes."

"Perceived?"

"Perceived," he confirmed. "A very wise person recently told me that there's no substitute for trust between two consenting individuals. It can't be feigned. That passion, _true_ passion, is mutual and can never be bought, bartered or sold. It just _is_."

"I didn't say that."

"No," he agreed. "General Skywalker did after I gave him my mission report."

"Sky-" Ahsoka jerked back a little. "I read your report. It was four lines long."

Four lines that had been as succinct and as bare of detail as possible. With the nature of the mission, and what had occurred between him and Ahsoka, not to mention his self-loathing at the time, he'd thought it best to exclude all detail. As a result, it had been less than helpful to anyone.

Mission accepted and commenced. Target zone infiltrated. Mission executed. Objective obtained; successful outcome.

It had been a report without being a report.

"A real, report, Ahsoka. I rewrote it."

"What did..." the color seemed to drain from her face, washing out the chevrons on her montrals. "Please tell me you didn't-"

"I didn't include anything about what happened between you and I," he assured her firmly. At one time, she wouldn't have had to ask and it hurt to realize he would have to work to regain the degree of trust he'd so obviously lost. "I wanted to protect you, Ahsoka. The Council and GAR Intelligence took gross advantage of you. You should never have been given that mission."

"It's over and done with Rex, why did you have to... what _did _you tell him?"

"I gave him the same briefing General Kenobi gave us."

"That's it?"

"I may have mentioned you being pulled off stage that first night... and Quill's little games."

Ahsoka stared at him.

"General Skywalker didn't take it well. His advice was actually part of a vehement opinion regarding the seppie paying for his pleasures. He was quite agitated."

Her gaze darted to the door behind him, visibly apprehensive, but Rex coaxed her gaze back to his. "He's gone, Ahsoka."

"The Seppie?"

"Anakin."

"Gone where?"

"Back to Coruscant. To see the Jedi Council and the GAR Intelligence Bureau." Rex's smile was grim but satisfied. He'd never respected his General more than the moments in which the Jedi had stormed away to put an end to _anyone_ using his Padawan in such a fashion again. Knowing the General as he did, Rex suspected the Jedi Council would have a hefty redecorating bill in the near future. "You will _never_ be subjected to a mission like that again."

"Rex..." she seemed speechless and then alarmed. "It was a classified mission, Rex. You could be court-martialed, demoted - _reconditioned_!"

"You're worth the risk, Ahsoka," searching her gaze, he was gratified to see the shadows had receded, replaced with fear _for_ him and something he wasn't sure if he'd killed by his actions the past couple of weeks. "You are worth _any _risk. I should never have pushed you away before talking to you that morning. I should never have _believed_ that _Catalyst _harpy and let my fears control me." He stroked her cheek. "I should never have treated you so poorly."

"Do you mean it, Rex?"

"Every word. Can you ever forgive me for being the biggest _di'kut_ ever decanted?"

There was a pause where he held his breath, not daring to hope, his whole being focused on this moment. Everything rested on if she could. If she couldn't, he would have to accept that he'd killed whatever feelings she'd once harbored for him and return to the lives they'd been living. It might, he reflected, just kill him.

Then, her head jerked, once, in affirmation and his heart soared and Rex closed the small distance between them, cupping her face in both hands. Slowly, so that she could break his hold if she wanted, he lowered his head to hers.

He brushed his lips across her trembling ones, relishing the way she clung to him, her arms sliding up his chest plate and around his neck, making his shiver as her nails rasped against his skin. She did it again, making him shudder, her power over him absolute and her name escaped on a groan.

_"Ahsoka."_

"Love me, Rex."

He lifted his head, looking down at her, deliberately misunderstanding her soft plea. "I already do."

"You-" she laughed, a watery sound that was accompanied by a smile and tears. "That's not what I meant."

"I know, but I do." He tilted his forehead to hers. "It just took me a long time to figure out what it was."

"You weren't exactly trained for it."

"I wasn't trained for any of this," he agreed solemnly, "it's what I _was_ trained for that became an issue."

"Don't." She reached up to cover his lips with her fingers. "Just... don't."

He kissed the pads, brushing the tip of his tongue across them. "I know an apology won't fix everything, but - for what it's worth - I _am _sorry."

"I know," she pulled her fingers away. "I am too."

"For what?"

"Not understanding."

Rex straightened, frowning at her. "You're barely sixteen. Until we left for the mission you were as innocent as I was. _How_ could you have understood any of this more than I?"

"I'm a Jedi, I should have-"

"You're a teenager first, Ahsoka," his voice was gruff. "The fault here is mine, not yours. I reacted... badly. The worst way I could have. I withdrew and I hurt you."

"You did."

"I should never have -"

"Rex. Please." Her plea was soft. "Don't dwell on it, okay? Let's just learn from it. We've been through so much and I can't bear the thought of going through that kind of rejection again."

"Never."

It was her turn to search his gaze and Rex let her look, not flinching from her regard. It had taken her coming after him, cornering him, two days before to snap him out of his self-loathing, but it had taken her Master's rant about slavery to help him _understand_ what Ahsoka had been trying to tell him. Let her look. She'd find nothing but remorse and the depths of his feelings for her.

"What happens next time, Rex?"

"Next time?"

"What happens next time you leave bruises on me?" She swallowed hard. "Do we start this all over again?"

"There shouldn't be more-"

"Passionate violence, Rex," she reminded him, her grip slackening only to have her nails dig in almost painfully on the sensitive skin of his neck and making him flinch. "After everything we've been through, I don't _want_ you to be in control."

"I don't want to hurt you."

"You won't. You can't. I... I like it when you mark me," her admission was slightly embarrassed.

Rex frowned. "You do."

She nodded.

How about that. His lips kicked into a half smile, the rest of the self-imposed weight that had been on his shoulders seeming to disappear with her nod. He'd been, apparently, giving himself hell for nothing. "You're sure?"

"Never been more sure, Rex." her color deepened further. "I liked hearing that I marked you too. The idea of you wearing the stamp of my _approval_," her montrals flushed to black, _"_is frighteningly compelling."

He couldn't disagree. While he'd been horrified at having thought to have harmed her, the darker part of him that had awakened and harbored such rough fantasies courtesy of their time at _The Catalyst_, had relished it. It had given him cause to hate himself all the more.

No longer.

Ahsoka knew his darkness and accepted it, asking for nothing in return but his acceptance of _hers_.

"I like having _you_ mark me too," he agreed and then smiled faintly, "aside from the locker room talk, that is."

"The boys will have to be dealt with."

"I'll handle it."

"How? If we're suddenly friendly again-"

"They'll accept it, Ahsoka."

"Coric and Kix won't."

"Then _you'll _just have to explain it."

"Rex... they think you took advantage of me." She flinched. She'd been unable - _unwilling _- to convince them otherwise. At the time, she'd needed their support and couldn't have borne it if Rex had been transferred or worse because of her speaking out of turn to one of the men. Echo seemed to have worked it out, but Echo was... Echo. He saw everything and said nothing. "Especially after how you spoke to Coric when we got back and both he and Kix _saw _the bruises, remember?"

He sighed, easing away, only Ahsoka didn't release her grip. "What do you suggest - telling them the truth?"

"Force no! They already want to lynch you."

"Lynch me?" Rex was amused despite himself. "Their superior officer?"

"They're almost as protective of me as you are."

"Good. Then they can handle the truth."

"Rex."

"Lover's quarrel."

"Lover's..." she paused. "That would confirm all their suspicions."

"They'll eventually figure it out on their own, Ahsoka. Better that they hear it from us."

"All of them?"

Rex shook his head. "Just those who know us best; Fives, Echo, Coric, Kix, Jesse, Chopper and a few others - the shinies will never see anything amiss except that their Captain and Commander seem to have reached an amicable agreement."

"I don't know, Rex, the more people who know..."

"The more of the men we trust who know, the better they can cover for us with the Generals if the need arises." He searched her expression. "Unless you think we should tell-"

_"NO!" _She sounded appalled. "Force no! Anakin would _never _understand. Jedi aren't supposed to form attachments."

"A little late for that."

She smiled ruefully. "It was too late a long time ago, Rexster."

"It's a secret then?"

"An omission," Ahsoka's correction was almost teasing. "A secret sounds like something illicit. This is just two consenting individuals not fighting the opportunity we've been given."

"I like that." Rex kissed her fiercely only to pull away with reluctance. "I should have a word with the men before it goes any further."

"In the morning."

"Why the morning?"

"Because you, Captain Rex, owe your Commander proper restitution."

He didn't follow her line of thinking until the _snap_ of one of his armor's clasps sounded audibly in the room. Sweeping her into his arms, he strode towards her bunk before really thinking about it only to pause when he got there. Looking down into her solemn expression, he was suddenly nervous.

Last time this hadn't ended so well.

"Maybe we should wait."

"I don't want to wait," she told him fiercely, fingers digging into his neck again, another clasp giving way low at his waist. "Anakin will be gone for a few days and I've _missed_ you, Rex. I don't… I don't want to miss this chance. I don't want to miss any more chances."

"You're sure?"

"I need you, Rex. Make love to me - _with _me," her voice shook, tone husky. "Just... don't run off in the morning, okay?"

Rex bent his head to hers. "I won't leave until you tell me to," he promised softly, nuzzling her chin. She sighed, tilting her head to grant him access to the sensitive skin of her neck where he placed a soft, passionate kiss, "even if I'm late for duty."

_fin_

* * *

_**Author's Note:** _There are 2 [yes you read that right] epilogues that go with this story. I realize there is a lot of material left unsaid between the last chapter and this one, hence the epilogues. Epilogue #1 actually takes place between Chapter 15 and 16 [see the time stamp]. I also know that I leave the clones, who've featured so highly in this story, out too, so they get their own epilogue.

Read on for the epilogues! :D


	18. Chapter 17 - Epilogue I

_Epilogue I_

**_The Resolute, Post _****Catalyst ****_- Day Fifteen - Early that Day [Afternoon]_**

Rex checked and rechecked the datapad in his hand, considering what he was about to do as he approached General Skywalker's office. Ahsoka had given him much to think about when she'd cornered him in the briefing room and he'd found himself unable to think of anything else since.

Fortunately they were in hyperspace transit at the moment and his duties were few, capable of being passed to a resentful Coric.

_I could get reconditioned for this_. The thought had crossed his mind repeatedly as he'd been working on the file, but in the end Rex found he hadn't much cared. Speaking with the Chancellor about the use of Padawans, especially one as young as Ahsoka, for such a sexually charged and _adult_ mission hadn't been one of his better ideas. While he had no doubt the Chancellor would _try _and do something about the assignments, the Jedi Council was beyond his jurisdiction.

Anakin Skywalker was the former Padawan of a Council member, the same Council member who had given him and Ahsoka the mission, true, but he held far more influence with the Jedi than the Chancellor did. Anakin had asked for a real report on the mission and Rex intended that he get one, no matter the personal consequences.

Lifting his gauntlet encased hand, he knocked firmly.

"_It's open."_

The door slid open and Rex stepped inside. The office was small and cluttered, like most of Skywalker's spaces, and set up more like a workshop than an office. The desk and chair were in the corner, much like Rex's own office, but every other available space was covered with gadgets and tools.

"Rex." Anakin looked up from where he was crouched next to his astromech, tinkering with something around the holo projector port. "What can I do for you?"

"I have that report for you, sir."

"For…?"

"The mission report you requested." When Anakin didn't appear to follow, Rex spelled it out. "For the mission to Ord Mantell, sir."

Anakin stopped what he was doing, glancing up with a frown. "I thought you said I had to ask Ahsoka about that."

"I did."

Getting to his feet, Anakin wiped his hands on a rag and took the report Rex extended his way. He moved to his desk and sat on an edge as he flicked on the datapad. "What changed your mind, Rex?"

"An unexpected discussion, sir." Rex wasn't about to confess that having Ahsoka pin him with the Force and yell at him had brought him to this moment. It had been more the context of what she'd said, but the initial action hadn't hurt either. He still didn't quite understand what she'd been trying to tell him except that she wasn't mad at him for bruising her. Why she wasn't... that was something else.

Anakin, thankfully, wasn't watching Rex as he keyed in the report selection and began to scan the document. "Have a seat, Rex."

The offer was absent and Rex didn't deign it with a response as Anakin's eyebrows rose and then dropped, his gaze narrowing dangerously as he scanned and then sped through the narrative.

"Of all the- I'm going to murder him!"

_General Kenobi. _Rex easily identified the individual from his General's outburst, gratified that he was having the reaction Rex had hoped for. Following Anakin's progress through expletives and various outbursts, Rex knew when he'd finished reading the report - and then went back to the top and re-read it in silence.

He didn't have long to wait for the expected outburst.

As soon as Anakin was done with the report the second time, he threw the datapad away, sending it skittering across the room to hit the wall. "I _am _going to murder him. _Obi-Wan_ gave you your orders."

"Yes, sir."

Anakin's eyes narrowed. "Obi-Wan Kenobi. My old Master, my _friend_, _Ahsoka's_ friend, gave you two a mission to go undercover as little more than a high priced whore and her handler."

"Yes, sir."

"And this... research material you looked at? I assume there were videos."

Rex nodded this time, vindication spreading through his system at seeing his General's slowly growing fury.

"And you and _Ahsoka_, my _sixteen _year old Padawan, watched these together?"

"Yes, sir." Rex expounded at this point, knowing if he wasn't careful he'd earn a piece of Skywalker's wrath. He might have earned it, but he intended to see the people who'd perpetrated the farce punished before he was. "The Commander needed to know what kinds of dances she'd be expected to perform."

"I see."

"Sir, we didn't know what we were agreeing to when the General informed us of our roles in the mission." Reluctant as he was to divulge that fact, honesty here couldn't hurt him. "It wasn't until we investigated the following day that we realized just what the mission was going to entail."

"Did you ask?"

"General Kenobi seemed more interested in securing our participation than answering our questions, sir. It wasn't until Commander Tano asked for details, after agreeing to the mission, that they were provided."

"You can call her Ahsoka, Rex," Anakin told him tightly. "I'm sure you didn't call her by her rank on the mission."

"Of course not, sir."

"And drop the, sir. You of all people know how much I hate it." The piercing blue eyes of his General were ice cold. "What kind of videos did you watch, Rex?"

"Dancing."

"Dancing."

Rex nodded. "For the record, General, I was against Comm-" he stopped at Anakin's sharp look and rephrased himself. "I was against Ahsoka performing the mission from the start."

"Then why go along with it?"

"They were orders from the Council," Rex shook his head once, lapsing into an at ease posture unconsciously with his hand folded behind his back. "If I'd declined, General Kenobi would simply have found someone else to take your place."

"If I'd known what the mission was before I ended up in the bacta tank, I would have told the Jedi Council where they could stick it!" Anakin's hand clenched and he pushed off the desk violently, starting to pace. "Your report says she accomplished her mission."

"She did, sir."

"Then she-"

Rex's lips tightened, his whole body seeming to respond to that inquiry with violent denial. "She did."

"As she was paid?"

Rex nodded, swallowing bile.

"On the lap of that good for nothing Seppie," lashing out, Anakin struck the wall of his office, metal ringing against metal as his hand landed solidly. "Any man who has to pay for their pleasures is no kriffing man!"

"General?" Rex's brow furrowed. "You'll pardon me for saying so, but the _Catalyst_ was full of patrons nightly. All of them were willing to pay for a few hours of these women's time."

"There's no substitute for trust between two consenting individuals, Rex. It can't be feigned and contrived no matter what that Separatist pervert, or any of the others, thought. Total immersion, total _surrender_ of one's self isn't possible without it." Anakin's eye spat fire and Rex wondered if his General was thinking of Senator Amidala. "Passion, _true_ passion, is mutual and can never be bought, bartered or sold. It just _is_."

_Even pleasurable violence_? "Even if it's violent?"

"Some like it rough."

"Something you know from experience?"

"Something I wouldn't tell you if I did." Anakin's eyes slid to the report again and his hand dropped from the wall. "I'm going to have some choice words for the Council when I see them, Rex. This misuse of their authority is inexcusable."

Despite the even tone, Rex could see the anger simmering underneath his General's words and had no doubt that the matter would be addressed quickly. "Thank you, sir."

"Good report, Rex. When I get back, you'll have to tell me more about your part in all of it."

"Back, sir?"

Anakin headed for the door. "I've a meeting that's long overdue with the Council and the GAR's Intelligence division about misuse of so called assets." He keyed his comm. "Flight deck, this is General Skywalker."

"_Sir?"_

"Prep the _Twilight_. I want her ready to go by the time my boots hit the deck."

"_Yes sir!"_

As Anakin disappeared, Rex could practically see his agitation and frustration growing, just from the delay, as he stormed towards the ship. A small, satisfied smile crossed his lips, the Generals' words echoing unexpectedly in his head.

"_There's no substitute for trust between two consenting individuals, Rex. It can't be feigned and contrived. Total immersion, total _surrender _of one's self isn't possible without it. Passion, _true _passion, is mutual and can never be bought, bartered or sold. It just is."_

On their heels was Ahsoka's ardent plea from the conference room.

"_Not all bruises are a bad thing. Pleasurable pain. Violence born of passion - of mutual need. Mutual violence, Rex. Did it hurt when I marked you?"_

Suddenly, understanding struck him and he _knew_ what Ahsoka had been trying to tell him. That realization made only one other thing clear. Rex knew what he had to do, who he had to see, he only hoped he hadn't lost her by taking too long.

**Mission Report** - Ord Mantell; The _Catalyst_

**Classification:** Classified Intelligence, Covert Operation

**Target:** Male human, see attached picture and information file

**Objective:** Crystal with Separatist communication encryption codes

**Operatives:** Jedi Padawan Ahsoka Tano and Clone Captain CC-7567

**Mission parameters:** Covert insertion into Ord Mantell and the cantina known as the _Catalyst_ in the city without a name. Operatives are to gain entry as either house staff or freelance within the cantina to gain access to the target.

**Timeframe:** As long as needed to successfully complete the mission

**History of Events:**

24 Hours before deployment, General Kenobi requested my presence for a briefing post General Skywalker's unexpected admission to the bacta tank for heroic actions and resulting injuries. In the briefing, General Kenobi requested I provide back up for Commander Tano, as I was the most suitable candidate, himself being too well known and otherwise engaged.

Once he obtained my agreement, he explained the mission parameters, objectives and cover identities.

The General provided appropriate research material for our roles as Burlesque Coquette and Handler, which Commander Tano and I perused together. We formulated a plan of attack and identified the tasks Commander Tano would need to perform.

The information provided by the Jedi Council, GAR Intelligence and the notes on the Separatist target himself showed a preference for delinquent behaviors, one of which was a quasi-sexual act known as a lap dance. GAR Intelligence identified this single option as the way to get close to the target without suspicion. It was the focal point of the mission.

Commander Tano would be expected to perform a lap dance on the Separatist target while lifting the information from his person without being noticed.

Insertion into Ord Mantell was completed via public transport with Commander Tano and I in brown civilian clothing. Upon reaching a designated point, orders came through indicating our prearranged lodgings.

The first two days of our arrival was spent familiarizing ourselves with the layout of the town, the manner in which our cover identities dressed and acted, preparing for the audition Commander Tano would be expected to pass before being admitted as a part of the _Catalyst's _nightly show, and making first contact with the owner of the cantina.

Commander Tano's audition was successful. Too successful. She was brought in to perform as one of the dancing girls the following night and assaulted. Pulled off stage by a mob of males, I was unable to reach her immediately. Commander Tano's adherence to her role in allowing me to handle the situation, further increasing our credibility as Hustler and Coquette, is a testament to her dedication to the mission.

As was her determination to return to her role the following night. Her performances garnered attention from the owner of the _Catalyst_, Rhyn Qualilles. The human took a special interest in Commander Tano after a Zeltron dancer and she crossed paths, an altercation in which the Commander showcased why she should not have been selected for this mission.

Her youth and inexperience with such intimate roles did nothing to prepare her for the inappropriate and insistent advances of the experienced Proprietor Quallies. Advances which turned into a demand that Commander Tano exceed the parameters of her cover role to showcase her sexual skills as a Burlesque Coquette with him in a private setting.

I was able to make a deal with him to prevent the request from being realized in its immediacy.

Commander Tano continued to perform her role exclusively as a Burlesque Coquette dancer. Garnering the attention of the target in doing so, she successfully completed her mission, obtaining the data crystal. We exited the _Catalyst _where we were pursued by Rhyn Qualilles' men in an attempt to collect Commander Tano for a private demonstration of her skills. During this pursuit she obtained a knife injury to the upper arm during a brief altercation before reaching our rendezvous point.

The extraction, completed by the _Resolute_, was uneventful.

End Report


	19. Chapter 18 - Epilogue II

_Epilogue II_

**_The Resolute, Post _****Catalyst ****_- Day Sixteen - Mid Morning_**

"Twin lightsabers," Rex nudged one of her hilts with his index finger, making it swing in its clip as they left her room and headed for the morning briefing. "When did you find time for that?"

"I needed some kind of distraction when you weren't talking to me," the look she shot him was serious. "I think it's the reason I got hit. I needed more practice before diving into combat."

He didn't have to look to know that she was long since healed from that wound and the marks he'd left on her the first time they'd spent the night together. This time, he'd woken her with an apologetic caress to the bruises on her hips and Ahsoka had woken to pin _him_ to the bed.

As a result, he really _was_ late for shift but, with the General gone, wasn't particularly worried as Ahsoka was now technically the ranking officer.

"You seemed pretty confident with them from what I could see."

"You were watching me?"

"I couldn't see when you landed," he admitted, remembering the panic that had struck him as his boots had touched the ground and he hadn't been able to see her reassuring form at his side or the blaze of her lightsaber. "I had to watch the HUD footage after the fact."

"The..." she looked surprised. "I didn't think you would."

"It was all I could allow myself when I-."

"Stop. Just stop, Rex." Ahsoka held up one hand, cutting him off. "It's too soon. One of these days I'm going to want to hear about it, but not today, okay? Today I just want to enjoy the fact that you're mine again."

Rex stopped walking, turning towards her, a quick check of the hall showing they were alone. Ahsoka turned to look at him with a frown and, before he could think better of it, Rex cupped her cheek, making her eyes widen, his thumb caressing the curve of it gently, a contrast to his rough words. "I have always been and always will be yours, Ahsoka." She looked shocked but Rex forged ahead. "Even when it feels like I'm not."

"Rex…"

The urge to kiss her was strong, but if they were caught he had no defense but the truth - which would land them both, at the very least, on report - so Rex took a reluctant step back. They shared a look, close but no longer touching, before Rex resumed walking, Ahsoka falling back into step with him quickly. They didn't speak again until they reached the briefing room.

* * *

"I thought we didn't have any missions before Kamino." Echo caught Jesse's grumble as he slouched in one of the seats next to Fives. "And talk about a mishmash. What could Rex possibly want to see the six of us for?"

Looking around the room, Echo silently took inventory of the attendees for this mission briefing. Himself and Fives. Coric and Kix. Jesse and Chopper. Two ARCs, two medics, a technical specialist and a specialized trooper. All close friends, he knew, of the Captain and Commander.

"What else?" Fives sounded cocky. "We've all pulled the Captain and Commander out of the fire at one time or another. There's probably some special mission they need us for."

"You think?"

Jesse looked considerably brighter at the prospect, but Echo had his reservations. This group was split on their opinion of their commanding officers at the moment. Three of the men in the room held a hostile, or a considerably disenchanted, opinion of Rex. Fives was semi-oblivious, Jesse was completely oblivious and himself... Echo liked to think of himself as strictly an observer, but without knowing Rex's reasons for withdrawing from Ahsoka, he found himself leaning towards Ahsoka's side of things.

Echo straightened as the door opened and Rex stepped in, his expression as grim as ever. Standing at attention, the others in the room snapping to their feet to do the same, Echo took the opportunity to observe Rex without being observed and he zeroed in on a twitch in Rex's jaw muscles.

It wasn't an angry twitch and Echo had been around long enough to know the difference. Rex had something planned. He was sure of it.

"At ease."

Six pairs of boots slid into the at ease pose in unison, one short sound of boot heels on deck plates and Rex looked them over with a critical eye. The silence in the room was tense, almost deafening, and from the fringes, Echo could see the hands of some of his _vod_ were clenched, as if restraining themselves.

There was a pregnant pause where Rex seemed as if he wasn't going to say anything and Echo could practically _feel _the restlessness of his brothers. When Rex did speak, stopping to cross his arms over his chest and pin them all with a severe look, it was enough to make Echo's eyebrows hit his hairline.

"Respect." Rex's voice was sharp and disproving. "It's been decidedly lacking in this chain of command the last two weeks. Sergeant," he turned to Coric, who snapped to attention, "explain your actions."

As Rex turned slightly, Echo caught sight of a trio of red lines, just above the neck of Rex's armor. Red lines that looked suspiciously like- no. It couldn't be, could it? If Echo was right, the scratch lines at the base of Rex's skull were identical to the ones he'd seen in the shower almost two weeks prior. Which meant-

"Sir?"

The look on Coric's face had Echo biting the inside of his cheek to avoid a chuckle or otherwise inappropriate outburst. Coric's expression was just shy of mutinous, rebellious, at the order. An order that – provided Coric was honest – could cause all sorts of other issues with their Captain and Commander.

_If_ Echo's suspicions were wrong.

"Respect, Sergeant." Rex was almost nose to nose with the other clone, his words a growled demand. "I want the reason I've lost yours."

Coric's silence was almost as damming as the glare on his expression but it didn't, from what Echo could see, faze Rex. Second ticked by before Rex prompted with lethal softness. "I'm waiting Sergeant. "

"With all due _respect_, _sir_," the words were short and clipped. "You don't deserve it."

Rex regarded Coric for a moment before turning to Kix. "And you, Medic?" he waited for a heartbeat before turning to a stoic Chopper, "And you, trooper?"

"Captain, what are you-"

"Am I," Rex's gaze never left the trio as he cut Jesse off, "speaking to you, _Trooper_?"

Jesse's lips snapped shut audibly.

Echo waited as Rex's gaze traveled to him and Fives, but didn't say anything, before turning his gaze back to the trio who'd shown him the most disrespect these last couple of weeks. Reaching down, he made a show of removing the helmet at his belt and showing them the passive recording was shut off.

"I want honesty from my men," Rex told them bluntly. "This meeting is not being recorded. Whatever is said within these walls will remain within this room, is that clear?"

There was no immediate response and Rex snapped the question again. "Is that _clear_?"

"Sir, yes, sir!"

Echo himself just nodded, one eye on the door.

"Good. Now shut down your passive recorders."

Slowly, confusion visible in Jesse's movements, along with Kix and Chopper's, but relish in Fives and Coric's, each of them did as instructed. Echo, having guessed where this was going, had shut his own off absently about the same time Rex had snapped at Jesse.

Standing back, Rex focused on the trio again and crossed his arms over his chest. "Your reasons."

"Your behavior towards the Commander is inexcusable, Rex."

_Kix,_ Echo reflected, _always has the capability to shock._ Medics were known for being able to look beyond rank and not be intimidated and Rex had provided him with a forum to assert himself. He wasn't really surprised Kix had been the first to speak after Coric, just in his choice of words.

Coric and Chopper added their voices to Kix's complaint, but neither was clear and Rex simply seemed to stand there absorbing what they were saying. Finally, silence fell again and Jesse spoke into the gap.

"Has it ever occurred to any of you that the Captain has a number of other things to do than babysit a Jedi who doesn't need it?"

Echo coughed, barely smothering a laugh, the noise covering the opening of the door as all eyes turned his way. He looked beyond his brothers to the entry of the young Togruta he'd been expecting.

Ahsoka didn't disappoint, her voice drawing their attention. "I'm glad to know you feel that way, Jesse."

"Commander!"

"Sir!"

There were exclamations from just about everyone. Except Rex. Coric and Kix and Chopper sent him a dark look but Echo couldn't help but notice Rex had eyes for no one except the Commander. Much the way it had been before the mission but now... now there was something else.

_Acceptance?_

Stepping inside, Ahsoka turned to the door and engaged the lock before turning back to the men. She advanced to Rex's side, stopping just out of his reach as she looked at each of them with a deliberate show of motion. When she reached him, their eyes locked and Echo noted immediately how _relieved_ she appeared... as if a weight had been lifted from her. It was all he could do not to smile even as he offered her the barest of nods. _Good for you, Commander._

When she spoke, it was to Fives and Jesse. "Jesse. Fives."

"Commander?"

"Sir?"

"I have a request of you."

Echo struggled to keep a straight face, already seeing what was coming.

"Anything, sir."

She smiled faintly. "Both of your names were heard as referenced with regards to the scratches," she flushed, her color high, her montrals darker than Echo had ever seen them, "seen on Rex's back a couple of weeks ago."

Jesse went bright red but Fives, irrepressibly, just grinned. "What's your request Commander? Find the woman so you can have a word?"

Her lips quirked into a semi smile as she slanted a look at Rex. "I was more thinking that you discourage, instead of encourage, talk about them and any others you might see."

"Any…"

"…others?"

Fives and Jesse exchanged looks before turning identical frowns her way. Coric, unexpectedly, added his voice to hers. "Regardless of whatever the Captain has done, it's unseemly to be gossiping about a ranking officer."

"Coric."

"Sir?"

Ahsoka looked at Rex and extended her hand. Rex, to Echo's satisfaction, didn't so much as hesitate in taking it and stepping close to her. Her gaze turned back to the five men now looking at them in shock. Echo, having expected it, counted himself the only satisfied one among them.

"I'd rather the rumors die a natural death instead of being quelled. The last thing I want," and her tone hardened, "is to be reassigned because one of you couldn't keep this under your buckets."

"One of us, sir?" Chopper's question was unexpected as he waved between them, specifically at their linked hands. "Last I saw, you two couldn't be in the same room, hell, the same _ship_ cordially. What exactly _is_ this?"

Ah. The million credit question.

"This," Ahsoka raised their linked hands and squared her shoulders, "this is what it looks like."

"And what," Kix asked cautiously, "does it look like?"

"Echo?"

Ahsoka turned his way, along with everyone else. Fives cocked his head, seeming to catch on as Echo spoke, his gaze on Kix, Jesse and Fives in particular, the instigators of the scratches rumors. "If I'm not mistaken-"

"Really _vod_?"

He ignored Fives' caustic remark, continually quietly, "-you're looking at one of the hands which gave Rex those scratches."

It took a moment for the statement to sink in. When it did, he got five identical blank looks followed swiftly by Ahsoka stepping in front of Rex, her hand now free of his, and lifting to catch the swinging fist of one irate Sergeant.

"You son of a-"

_Smack!_

"Commander!"

"As you _were_, Coric!" Ahsoka snapped the command, her hands having lifted to block and grab the punch and preventing him from striking Rex. Her gaze turned back Echo's way. "Not quite how I would have put it, Echo."

"Sir?"

"You forgot," her tone was dry, "_willingly_."

It had been worth it to see Coric try and strike Rex. "My apologies, Commander." He did grin this time. "Sergeant, the hands on your vambrace are the ones that _willingly_ gave Rex those scratches." Tongue in cheek, he cocked his head at Ahsoka. "Better, Commander?"

"Oh, much."

Fives snickered at her pointed reply.

"Let him go, Ahsoka." Rex placed one hand on her shoulder. "He needs this."

"I don't want him to hit you."

Echo suddenly felt like an outsider as Rex and Ahsoka shared a look and she let out a deep breath, releasing Coric's arm. Stepping back, she crossed her arms over her chest and pinned each of the men with a narrowed gaze. "Once each then."

Rex nodded.

Echo moved to her side as Coric didn't wait to be told twice, slamming his fist into Rex's jaw. Rex made no move to avoid or go with the blow, taking it straight on the chin and having to take a step back with the force of it.

"You deserve more than that for what you put her through these last two weeks, Rex." Coric's low tone was almost lethal.

There was no kind of reply from Rex except a sharp nod and Coric struck him again, staggering him before Rex pulled himself back upright. He flexed his jaw, something cracking, as Coric drew back for a third strike.

"Coric! Enough!" There was no compromise in Ahsoka's tone. "You hit him again and _I'll_ be the one putting you on report."

Coric snapped to rigid attention and stepped back sharply. "Yes, _sir_."

"Kix?"

"No, sir." He shook his head at Rex's inquiry and Echo was gratified to see that the younger Medic seemed to have grasped the situation. "The Sergeant took my swing. If the Commander's forgiven you, I trust her judgment."

"Chopper?"

The scarred clone stepped up and right into Rex's face. He frowned, eye to eye with his commanding officer, seeming to look for something within Rex's expression. Rex let him look and, as Chopper was investigating, Echo pitched his voice low to only be heard by Ahsoka.

"Is this wise, sir?"

"Wise?"

"Allowing him a second chance?"

Ahsoka turned her gaze to his, Chopper and Rex still dead locked in a silent stare, Jesse and Fives making something of a racket as they demanded to know what Chopper was doing. When Chopper didn't answer, they proceeded to guess. She smiled faintly, ignoring the ruckus. "He's been his own worst enemy these last two weeks. I think he's been harder on himself than I ever could be."

"This is what you want?"

She nodded, her lips curving into the sweetest, shyest smile Echo had ever seen. "More than I want to be a Jedi, Echo."

"More, huh?" He chuckled softly. "What's the General have to say about that?"

"Nothing," she flushed again. "He can't know."

Regarding her for a moment, he was suddenly serious. "Then you may eventually have to make that choice."

"Not if we can count on you guys to know who to bring in on this secret, on who to trust and who we need to be careful around." Her grin turned impish. "What Skyguy doesn't know, won't kill Rex."

She had a valid point. Their General wasn't likely to look kindly on his Captain and Padawan engaging in a romantic relationship. "What will you do?"

"Take things slow," her gaze went back to Rex and Chopper. "We both have a lot to learn about this stuff."

Echo wasn't given a chance to reply as Chopper's voice suddenly silenced them all and drew their attention. "You're an idiot, sir."

The silence stretched for half a minute, as if Chopper was waiting for a denial, only to be broken by Ahsoka's sudden outburst as she began to laugh. "He's not going to argue with you, Chopper. In his apology last night, he acknowledged that fact."

"Last night, sir? Really?"

Fives' keen question made her flush again as she seemed to realize what she'd revealed. Chopper resumed speaking, saving her from that inquiry, and drew their attention again.

"Good. He knows it. He won't make the same mistake twice."

Rex nodded sharply, agreeing with him. "I won't."

"Good." Unexpectedly, he turned towards Ahsoka. "Will you be reassigning me, Commander?"

"Never."

Chopper blinked, visibly taken aback. "Sir?"

"This group," she turned to look at each of them briefly, "are the core of those Rex and I trust most. While we work this out, it's not something that Anakin, or any other Jedi, can know."

"Or the rest of the men," Rex's addition was firm. "Each of you know the men in your current squads best. Ahsoka and I will trust your judgment on who you reveal this to. We only ask you use discretion."

"Jesse and discretion aren't exactly acquainted."

"One could say the same about you, Fives." Jesse's retort was accompanied with a grin. "But in this case, I wouldn't dream of saying anything."

"Oh?" His declaration drew a surprised murmur from Kix. "Really?"

"Yeah, Really," Jesse looked offended. "The last thing I want to see is the Commander reassigned."

"Or Rex reconditioned." Ahsoka's soft addition quieted them again before she continued. "Can I take your silence as consent?"

The five other troopers exchanged looks and Echo, having had enough, finally spoke up. "If you're willing to give the Captain another chance, Commander, you have my support and my silence."

Repetitions of the same vows came from each of the men, except Coric, and, as the last of them died away, Ahsoka turned to the medic. "Coric?"

"So long as he treats you right, Commander," Coric told her with a narrowed gaze at Rex, "I don't want you back in my medbay because of _him_."

"I don't want to have to make it an order," her gaze never wavered and Echo was silently impressed with the maturity behind it. She'd grown much since Ord Mantell. "Will you keep your silence?"

With a final look at Rex, Coric finally turned fully to her and nodded once. "For you, Commander, I will."

Ahsoka's smile was relieved. "Thanks guys."

"What exactly does keeping this quiet mean?"

All eyes turned back to Ahsoka at Kix's question. She held her hand out to Rex, who stepped forward to take it immediately. Echo watched, feeling a mess of relief and smugness as his Captain lifted those fingers to his lips in both hands. "It means," Rex's voice was low, "acting as interference in the event we're almost caught."

"Just be careful, sir," Jesse clapped Rex on the back, "and you won't have anything to worry about."

Rex and Ahsoka shared a look before Rex finally turned his head to regarded the specialized tech with a half-smile. "Careful isn't what worries me. It's getting carried away that becomes dangerous."

Echo stepped away from the conversation, fading into the background as he did, and did what he did best as he observed the conversation flowing about the room. Jesse and Fives were delighted with the turn of events and seemed to shift into a contest to outdo one another in teasing their commanding officers.

Coric was still glowering at Rex, but Echo suspected it wouldn't last. Ahsoka had made her choice plain and it was obvious, to anyone who cared to see, that she was free of the burden Rex's absence in her life had caused. With their reconciliation, Coric would undoubtedly remain skeptical for some time, but he'd come around eventually. It would just take some time for Rex to regain his respect and his trust.

Kix and Chopper were quiet, but seemed to be somewhat more accepting of the turn of events, going so far as to join in the banter. Rex and Ahsoka were at the center of it all and Echo took his time in observing them. The scratches on Rex's neck aside, Echo could see no other visible signs that his commanding officers had spent the night together.

But it wasn't in the imprints, it was in their actions. How Ahsoka's hands seemed to twitch towards Rex's and how Rex's seemed to clench into fists to keep from reaching for her. It was in the way Ahsoka leaned in Rex's direction and the way she looked at him, unable to fully conceal her feelings and, if he wasn't mistaken, not trying to with these men. Once they left the safety and security of the briefing room, they'd need to act like colleagues once again, but here they could be together.

And were.

Even as he watched, they seemed to realize it entirely and Rex reached for Ahsoka just as she was reaching for him, tucking herself under his arm with a laugh at something Fives said.

Satisfied, Echo held back on the fringes, considering all of the things that had kept him awake at night over the last two weeks, confident in the answers to questions he'd never once thought he would be able to answer.

He hadn't known if Rex would be capable of enjoying Ahsoka's instinctive trust and fierce loyalty. He knew now, without knowing the details, that Rex didn't simply enjoy it, but reveled in it.

He hadn't known how they were going to handle their relationship, but he knew now, after having walked through fire, nothing would come between them.

He hadn't known if Ahsoka knew that Rex had tried not to see her as a woman for fear of wanting her too much. Looking at them now, there was no question in his mind that she knew how badly Rex wanted her… and it was a mutual thing.

Lastly, he hadn't known if Ahsoka had been capable of allowing herself to fall in love with Rex or even if Rex had been capable of admitting he'd been in love with _her_ for some time. Their request, and trust, in himself, Fives, Jesse, Kix, Coric and Chopper had more than proved they both could.

Rex and Ahsoka's relationship had been torn asunder and burnt to ash, on the brink of being scattered to the winds, only to have them rise together, reborn, to a galaxy of endless possibilities. Possibilities that looked, from where Echo was standing, like a better and brighter future.

Together.

_Fin_

* * *

_**Author's Note:** _There are a -lot- of unanswered questions by the end of this fic. What happened between Lux and Ahsoka and does Rex ever find out? Do Coric, Kix and Chopper ever really trust Rex again and, if they do, how do they earn it? What happens between Rex and Ahsoka and does this mean a real turning point in their relationship; are their hardships over or is this only the beginning? Are they able to keep the true depth of their relationship out of the public eye and just between their little group? Does Anakin ever learn of it and does Rex live through the encounter? How does this shape the rest of the TCW series and what changes - does Echo still die? Lastly, do Palpatine's evil schemes ever come to fruition or, with the resurgence of Rex and Ahsoka's relationship, does it mean something else?

Yes, questions, questions. If you look at emjalen's profile, you'll notice the JoR universes [yes, plural] have 2 diverging story lines. One that, potentially, follows her original ending of JoR and one that will be following the ending of this fic where a lot, if not all, of those questions will be answered.

Following **JoR: Consequences** will be a Vignette series, as of yet unwritten, with little snippets of fics that touch on Rex and Ahsoka's relationship, and those of Torrent Company's around them, through the rest of the TCW series. If anyone has ideas for episodes they'd like to see mentioned, send them my way ;)

Thanks for reading everyone and a huge thank you to **emjalen** for letting my play in her AU multiverse :D It's been a ton of fun and I look forward to the next jaunt!

-JM


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